confused i dont know how i feel

jen1987

me and my bf split up 4 months ago but we had a fling till about 3 weeks ago when he got himself a new gf.. 2 b honest i was heartbroken at the time and felt like a complete idiot for letting what we had as bf and gf carry on 4 months after we split up.. anway we havent been getting on lately and yday we both went to this party and he came up to me and said dont let me kiss you 2nite cos u look fit.. and thenwe got talkin and we were both really drunk and i just told him how he had made me felt and he said he was sry and he was hurting too about it and then we kissed and i feel soo bad about it cos he broke down and was like omg what have i done ive cheated on my gf and i said to him listen im not gonna tell anyone so dont worry.. then we talked some more and he kept saying i love u so much (as a m8 i think) and i know that i really love him that way 2 he means so much to me as a m8, anyway then we slepy next to each other and we were like holding hands and stuff through the night. and rite now i really dont know what is going on. i am jealous of hhis realtiopnship with his new gf but i really dnt know how i feel; i dont know how i c him as a friend or more than that - but i dnt want to see him as more than a m8 cos i dnt want to hurt his gf or whatever but i keep thinking if he didnt still like me y did he say dnt let me kiss u and y did we pull i really dont know whats going on and i feel bit messed up.. sorry needed to get this out

Reply 1

miss_buttercup

wow hun i really do feel for you! it sounds like both of u still have some feelings and issues u need to sort out between u. mayb suggest meeting up to talk it all thro, wot ever u do i hope it all works out and heres a big hug (((((you)))))

Reply 2

khil

15

jen1987

me and my bf split up 4 months ago but we had a fling till about 3 weeks ago when he got himself a new gf.. 2 b honest i was heartbroken at the time and felt like a complete idiot for letting what we had as bf and gf carry on 4 months after we split up.. anway we havent been getting on lately and yday we both went to this party and he came up to me and said dont let me kiss you 2nite cos u look fit.. and thenwe got talkin and we were both really drunk and i just told him how he had made me felt and he said he was sry and he was hurting too about it and then we kissed and i feel soo bad about it cos he broke down and was like omg what have i done ive cheated on my gf and i said to him listen im not gonna tell anyone so dont worry.. then we talked some more and he kept saying i love u so much (as a m8 i think) and i know that i really love him that way 2 he means so much to me as a m8, anyway then we slepy next to each other and we were like holding hands and stuff through the night. and rite now i really dont know what is going on. i am jealous of hhis realtiopnship with his new gf but i really dnt know how i feel; i dont know how i c him as a friend or more than that - but i dnt want to see him as more than a m8 cos i dnt want to hurt his gf or whatever but i keep thinking if he didnt still like me y did he say dnt let me kiss u and y did we pull i really dont know whats going on and i feel bit messed up.. sorry needed to get this out

Bless you

Don't worry about it. You know the answers anyway - he's now a no-go area he has a girlfriend and you've said yourself you don't wanna hurt his new gf. Hanging round with him isn't doing you any good - I'm not saying cut contact forever. But for the next month or two at least, cut contact. It's gonna be hard but it needs to be done. So you can think clearly and also give you space to get over him since you sound like you're not over him.

You know what you need to do. What you need to do is: keep your distance until you've got this sorted in your head. If he wants you back he should break up with his new girlfriend but since he has not done that - you need to get over him.

I know well the confusion :redface:

the fog does lift. Just concentrate on moving on and getting on with life. You'll get through this.

EDIT: btw if you've got any questions about any of this, talk to your ex. Get it clarified - ask him. You need answers right now. And trust me, getting answers really helps. When I was in that complete confusion during the phase after my break up I constantly asked my ex questions until eventually I realise it really is over :redface:

So yeh, don't be afraid to ask questions.

Reply 3

jen1987

OP

to be honest he is my best mate.. we tried the whole cutting contact thing but it got us nowhere,, i know that if he wants to stay wit his gf im cool with it, i know that other guys will come along and in a way i prefer being single. i dont know if i would even go bak out with him but i suppose at the end of the day i have been through so much with him that how could i not get back with him.. im meant to be seeing him 2morro at some party so i spose i better speak about it then.. he may be a no go area but that didnt stop him last nite..arggh lol.. god dam boys

Reply 4

ChocoVet

jen1987

to be honest he is my best mate.. we tried the whole cutting contact thing but it got us nowhere,, i know that if he wants to stay wit his gf im cool with it, i know that other guys will come along and in a way i prefer being single. i dont know if i would even go bak out with him but i suppose at the end of the day i have been through so much with him that how could i not get back with him.. im meant to be seeing him 2morro at some party so i spose i better speak about it then.. he may be a no go area but that didnt stop him last nite..arggh lol.. god dam boys

Also, avoid alcohol. Stops you from getting into situations like this.
And don't let him kiss you if you only want to be his mate! It takes two to kiss after all :rolleyes:

Reply 5

jen1987

OP

lol hehe im going out 2morro with him and mates just gonna c what happens where i end up in his arms or someone elses :P

Reply 6

ChocoVet

jen1987

lol hehe im going out 2morro with him and mates just gonna c what happens where i end up in his arms or someone elses :P

Yeah, pulling other guys might work too :smile:

Reply 7

jen1987

OP

yep thats what i did last week but last nite he goes im jealous of the guys u pulled.. and then this mornign i sed y u say that and he completely denied he sed it lol

Reply 8

ChocoVet

jen1987

yep thats what i did last week but last nite he goes im jealous of the guys u pulled.. and then this mornign i sed y u say that and he completely denied he sed it lol

Sounds like he needs to get his feelings sorted out as well!
For the time being, pull any guy you want EXCEPT him :biggrin:

Reply 9

jen1987

OP

lol ok thanks....

confused i dont know how i feel

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