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    (Original post by Onearmedbandit)
    I'm 19 and I've only ever had 1 gf, I didn't like her that much and broke up with her after 3 months. Now I'm really lonely.
    Not for much longer, I'm sure . University is a great place to meet people!
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    (Original post by ornela)
    Lonely? Join the HUGE club, though I wouln't say I have gone out with someone I didn't like.
    I didn't say I didn't like her. I did. I just didn't really fancy her. I didn't feel like I wanted to be with her. I thought I'd like her more if we went out.

    I'm glad I did or I'd be here at 19 with no girlfriend ever at all which would be even worse.
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    Why do people keep saying "wait for something special"? :confused: Is that not the whole point in dating? To help you find that something special? Jeez its not like its sex or marriage. Just get in there as soon as you can. Boyfriends don't always have to be something special. Wheres the fun in that? :p:
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    Is this a queer thread?
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    (Original post by Onearmedbandit)
    I didn't say I didn't like her. I did. I just didn't really fancy her. I didn't feel like I wanted to be with her. I thought I'd like her more if we went out.

    I'm glad I did or I'd be here at 19 with no girlfriend ever at all which would be even worse.
    Ah, I see. I was in such a position once upon a time. It put me off boys for quite a while though.
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    I went to an all boys school between 13 and 18 so basically didnt know any girls until my gap year.

    i used to (and still do to some extent) get pretty nervous in (for want of a better word) sexual situations (dances, parties etc etc), but dont have any problems in non-pressure (o this sounds sad) situtations where im just chatting over coffee or whatever. as far as i can tell everything will be comfortable naturally, its only the thinking about these things before hand that makes them seem difficult.

    having said that i am still waiting for someone to fling themselves into my arms and be my girlfriend. ok maybe not quite like that, but im sure once i get to uni there wont be any problems

    you'll be fine.

    Haz
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    i'm nearly 18 and i've never had a boyfriend (unless you count the ones in junior school...aw... ) and i don't see anything wrong with it. the majority of my friends who have had boyfriends, haven't had really what i would call 'proper' relationships - sounds harsh, but they've only lasted a few months and it really just meant sleeping with one person for a certain period of time. i think very few people have proper relationships at this age (from what i see - fewer than you'd think anyway). its not so much to do with maturity, but just meeting the right person (which is pure chance).

    it really doesn't matter, everyone goes off to uni in a couple of years anyway, and that will be a new start with new people. you can 'worry' about it then, but now you have so much time. my friends have gone through some serious hassle and heart ache with their boyfriends, so it isn't all it's cracked up to be. you should just concentrate on having fun, it's too soon to tie yourself down and make a real committment to someone.

    on the socialising side, i find parties are great for meeting new people, and getting experience with the opposite sex. just chatting with people and having a laugh, or whatever should really help you get used to dealing with guys on - maybe - a physical level - or on a purely platonic level. just don't go further than you feel comfortable with, or go totally mad and end up with a reputation as a slut. i think learning to get on with guys as friends is far more important, and you may find some of the friendships develop naturally into relationships.
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    (Original post by need_money)
    Why do people keep saying "wait for something special"? :confused: Is that not the whole point in dating? To help you find that something special? Jeez its not like its sex or marriage. Just get in there as soon as you can. Boyfriends don't always have to be something special. Wheres the fun in that? :p:
    Well, they don't have to be "the one" or anything, but in my opinion it's better to hang around for someone you actually like rather than just jump into bed/a relationship with the first spotty teenager that looks your way. They may not end up being perfect for you, but at least if you like them as a person it can't be so bad.
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    (Original post by Onearmedbandit)
    I'm glad I did or I'd be here at 19 with no girlfriend ever at all which would be even worse.
    But not as bad as me being here at 20 with no boyfriend ever at all... *Feels wistful*
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    .................awww........... ..:flowers: :knuddel:
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    (Original post by ornela)
    Lonely? Join the HUGE club, though I wouln't say I have gone out with someone I didn't like.
    awwwww UGS: TO THE LONLEY PEOPLE!

    it really sucks doen't it when u think of and see all the people together who have someone etc. And there us all alone, why can't everyone just find someone and be happy, some peopl esimply have to high standards, likes people who jsut go afta big breasted blonde leggy women (sterotype i know) but ooo it's jsut so dam unfair!!!!
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    Don't worry about it. Most 16/17 year old boys don't know how to act around girls either.
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    (Original post by Sami C)
    Throw yourself in at the deep end. Find an attractive guy at your new school, find out if he has a gf, if not, then go up and if you are nervous about the old chit chat, then just introduce yourself and ask him out. Chances of him saying yes are very high. Then you have a date and you can probably be introduced to all his friends, so thats male friends for you, and your social circle will enlarge rapidly.
    Um someone's been watching American teen series a bit too much. That's not how things work in real life. Here, you'd probably scare someone away by just going up to them if you've never spoken to them and then ask them if they want to go out.
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    Well the feminist side of me is saying that boys are nothing special, don't make them think they are by making a huge effort to change yourself, and remember that boyfriend rarely = happiness (not for long anyway). 16 is nothing, and believe me when you do find someone worth being with you won't mind at all (and nor will he), and it will be made even better by the fact you don't have a string of failed relationships behind you.

    I have been lucky enough to be in 2 long term relationships (my 1st when I was 15), and several other much more fling-like escapades which I now rather regret. Although the 1st 'proper' relationship was disastrous pretty much from the start, I am totally amazed that I ever met my current boyfriend, it's incredible but i agree, complete luck. He's 18 and I'm his first LTR, plus most of his friends have never had girlfriends, it's pretty common even at their age!

    On the more general side of things, I think there are some girls who just see men as either boyfriend material or not, and others who actually treat them normally. Trust me when I say you will get a lot more out of the opposite sex if you see them as potential friends, and develop things like that. If you fancy one of them, great, but don't only chat to the good looking ones cos you'll find there are some truly brilliant friends to be made. No need to act like a bloke if that's not you, just chat about interests, A levels, whatever... don't worry about it!

    Cxx
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    i think you may find that boys are easier to get on with than girls as in my experience girls may be nice to you and they will ***** about you behind you back but boys luckily (and unluckily sometimes) are lacking in that thought process so they will be friendly or not as if they aren't they usually stop being that nasty after a while (unless they belong to the certain few that should be put in kennels til they grow the hell up)
    just be fun and don't worry about them as they're not worth owrrying about until you get to be the old age of 18, completely single and scare off every bloke in the 5 nearest counties! good luck and you'll do fine, if not change school..everything can be made better that way....lol
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    You've got a whole long summer ahead of you! why don't you join the local youth group or something...or meet up with friends who also have lad friends..just so you know in yourself that you can do it you will be absolutely fine!! practice makes perfect!
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    :bawling:

    Sometimes it's hard to keep holding onto the belief that eventually the right bloke will come along. Sadly the only ones I've fancied so far, have alas never felt the same about me. It's odd, because I don't look that bad, and as far as I know my personality is ok, though I'm a bit shy. Oh well...
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    I don't think that 16 is any age to start worrying about not having a boyfriend. If anything, its probably a good age to start, as you're just getting to the stage where you have more independance and emotional maturity, so its a great time to explore dating. I wish that I had waited until I was 16 to start dating.

    As for boys... all you need to display is a sense of humour and a lack of snobbiness and honestly, most of them will be pleasant to you. That's truly what I believe. In a 6th form college, most people seem to go around in mixed-gender friendship groups, so it shouldn't be too much trouble to connect with boys. The main thing to have is confidence: say hi to people in hallways, comment on something someone is wearing (only if you like it!) and ask people if they've done their homework. This works with both genders, just connect-connect-connect. If you are known as a nice and friendly person, people (men included) will want to be nice and friendly to you, as well.
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    (Original post by kew96158)
    :bawling:

    Sometimes it's hard to keep holding onto the belief that eventually the right bloke will come along. Sadly the only ones I've fancied so far, have alas never felt the same about me. It's odd, because I don't look that bad, and as far as I know my personality is ok, though I'm a bit shy. Oh well...
    That's exactly what its like with me except I don't think I'm good looking at all.
    Hoping that the current man I'm in love with likes me too
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    Well, I hadn't had a boyfriend by the time I was 16, and I felt pretty similar to you (I also went to an al girls school). I started going out with my first boyfriend when I was 16, but that wasn't serious, though it felt like it at the time - I think most of what I felt for him was just relief at getting a boyfriend, and it just led to me getting hurt, as he cheated on me I just felt like I wanted to be like everyone else...although looking back, I don't think most of my friends had had boyfriends by that age either, so I don't know where I got that idea from.

    I've been with my current, and second, boyfriend for a few months now, and things are going great - it's easy to see now looking back how the feelings I had then were really nothing speacial. :rolleyes: Basically, don't think that you are the only one to be in the situation you're in - you are by no means! And about how to act around guys? Just be yourself - you shouldn't EVER have to change the way you are naturally just to please others, that's not right. Don't worry about it, even if you don't know how to act around guys, they will be used to being around girls and so it shouldn't be as awkward as you may fear.
 
 
 
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