The Student Room Group

I'm too sensitive.. or people are just getting to me

Argh, I apologise for the long post but I’d really appreciate some help..

Basically, I keep getting so down when people are harsh or leave me out etc, which happens so much it’s really depressed me.
Like, today, my family (mum, dad, brother and sister) left me with my nan for 1.5 hours today to look after a picnic while they ran off somewhere and had fun, they didn’t ask if I wanted to join or anything, I was literally just thinking ‘omfg I need+ how am I going to get antidepressants’ and ‘if I committed suicide no-one would notice’. I complained after, no apology. I just can’t be happy around them, (they’re always making rubbish jokes etc) my mum’s always having a go at me for 'always moaning, never smiling', (because shouting at me really helps?!) In short, I have no emotional support from my family.
My two ‘best’ mates are particularly loud, Thursday, I was left sat in the common room while they turn to sit with their backs to me, then roll around the floor in laughter for ages, they have their own [increasingly dirty] jokes that I’m not included in, nor do i find funny. One of them apologised for that time, the other whose my official ‘best mate’ probably didn’t notice- she always rips the mick out of herself (fine), but also everyone around her, like she keeps bringing up this one time I was drunkenly sick when its actually a really sensitive issue (take my word for it).
The rest of my ‘mates’… well, I was at a gathering last week and we were playing Singstar and even while sober, they’re snatching mic’s off each other, snatching alcohol, and most of them hadn’t even provided any. Regarding the wine I brought, people jumped up and were like ‘I want some’ and I just couldn’t believe the selfishness, the attention-seeking, the lack of manners. (At this point I resolved to get totally wasted) So then later this girl whose reputed as really sweet tells me “Sometimes I don’t like you when your sober, but when your drunk you’re really cool.” Unfortunately I’m usually sober so usually she doesn’t like me! One girl (ho was very drunk) was going around telling people I’m a lesbian :confused: , I went to lie down and the next day my friend said “We didn’t notice you’d disappeared for ages..”. And they were sober at that time. In March, my best mates and I fell out with half of our group and, I know they a) are nasty people that I don’t really want to know and b) don’t like me. I’ve lost contact with some really good friends from yr 11, basically because they don’t have time to speak to me.
These last couple of weeks, I just really cannot function at school (or anywhere but my bedroom), my eyes are now always filling with tears but no-one ever notices. I just think no-one really likes me, and one of my best mates even practically admitted it, I gave her a list of about 10 names (on msn), and she only named 3 who like me.
But it isn’t just low self-esteem- I know I’m quite attractive and [in my school anyway] intelligent, but I just know people don’t really like me, even though I never do anything to offend anyone- I think that’s something that scares people about me too. :redface:
Thanks if you read all that.

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Reply 1
Saffie
I just can’t be happy around them, (they’re always making rubbish jokes etc) my mum’s always having a go at me for 'always moaning, never smiling', (because shouting at me really helps?!) In short, I have no emotional support from my family.

Tell me about it, I get EXACTLY the same treatment it seems. :hmpf:
Reply 2
Look out for Number 1.

Do whatever you can to protect yourself.

NEVER open your emotions to anyone.
NEVER put yourself in the position of owning someone something.

Arm yourself to the teeth and when the chance does come BANG, lash out with unprecedented viciousness.
Reply 3
This is probably a problem only girls get.
Reply 4
wow...
first step, never expect anything - this always leads to dissapointment ive found...
and if your 'friends' are like that, why bother with them? look for more mature people who are more like you (i think) *shrugs*
as for the family... hmmm
divide and conquer? just find interests with one of them.. get them on your side and slowly make the others jelous :biggrin:
dunno really.. but yea suicide never is really the right answer is it? :frown:
Reply 5
sarforaz
wow...
first step, never expect anything - this always leads to dissapointment ive found...
and if your 'friends' are like that, why bother with them? look for more mature people who are more like you (i think) *shrugs*

divide and conquer? just find interests with one of them.. get them on your side and slowly make the others jelous :biggrin:
dunno really.. but yea suicide never is really the right answer is it? :frown:


I'm sorry but talking about suicide doesn't help your case.
It just makes you look like an attention seeker.
Reply 6
oilcan
Look out for Number 1.

Do whatever you can to protect yourself.

NEVER open your emotions to anyone.
NEVER put yourself in the position of owning someone something.

Arm yourself to the teeth and when the chance does come BANG, lash out with unprecedented viciousness.

I see your point and I try not to care and I don't get why it's suddenly bothering me recently, it's not like my family have ever been supportive or friends ever been great.
But how will anyone ever like me if i never show emotions?
Reply 7
oilcan
I'm sorry but talking about suicide doesn't help your case.
It just makes you look like an attention seeker.

I'm assuming that was aimed at moi? Well if the truth makes me look like an attention seeker i have to hide it then? I'm not of that opinion. What i wrote does feel too personal though, I'll might edit some out later

Thanks Sarforaz- but there isn't anyone else i can be friends with, my 6th form is getting smaller.
Thanks Butterfly for repping me and your comments there
Reply 8
There is no need to be selfish or hide from the rest of the world. (That was not directed at you.)

Perhaps you need to make new friends, find people that are more like yourself.

I have a similar problem with friends and family - although I can see that it is partially my fault and my response to others in terms of likes and socialising...

There is nothing wrong with showing your emotions.
Reply 9
Saffie
I see your point and I try not to care and I don't get why it's suddenly bothering me recently, it's not like my family have ever been supportive or friends ever been great.
But how will anyone ever like me if i never show emotions?


Why would you care?

Be like me. I don't care if I have 0 friends or 1000 friends. I don't go out to make friends. Most of the time, they come to me. I'm by no means Mr. School but no one hates me and everyone talks to me. However, sometimes they decide to go off me and I don't dwell on it.
i think you need someone to give you attention. i think wot happens in ur family is evident in most families. like some1 else said dont tell ne1 anything, cos then theyre basically gonna tell da world

another alternative is to be drunk all the time (joke!)
Reply 11
Saffie
I'm assuming that was aimed at moi? Well if the truth makes me look like an attention seeker i have to hide it then? I'm not of that opinion. What i wrote does feel too personal though, I'll might edit some out later

Thanks Sarforaz- but there isn't anyone else i can be friends with, my 6th form is getting smaller.
Thanks Butterfly for repping me and your comments there


No, it's just you're being melodcramatic.
You have no right to die to be honest.
A few people are getting on your case boo hoo.
You don't live in grinding poverty. You actually have parents. You live in an opulent and safe country. You don't have to wave an AK in front of someone else's face. You have an education etc...

This is what really pisses me off about Western Society and especially Western Youth; they don't appreciate all the good things they have in their life, they take everything for granted, they never count their blessings. They concentrate on the small, trivial issues and augment them in to something they're not.
Reply 12
oilcan
Why would you care?

Be like me. I don't care if I have 0 friends or 1000 friends. I don't go out to make friends. Most of the time, they come to me. I'm by no means Mr. School but no one hates me and everyone talks to me. However, sometimes they decide to go off me and I don't dwell on it.

I don't want to grow old a spinster, I want to be happy and i guess i'm not experienced in being happy on my own :confused:. It's easy to say not to care, but it's really hard to be friendly with people that you know don't like you. (well for me)

RE: your last post- i'm sorry that i cannot explain myself so that you'd understand :frown:
Hey, don't be ashamed of what you've written! It's what you feel and you have a right to express it. I know it all seems like it sucks right now, but to be honest, your friends sound like um...not very nice people, to put it in a polite sense. I've been in a situation like this before, but it gets better. Remember you're worth more than what they think. Don't try and impress them, just look out for you.
Reply 14
hey

firstly everyone goes thru this so chillax u aint alone!!
dnt let this get u down, uve realised tht ur friends aint nice...so look for ppl who appreciate who are, dnt waste ur time with ppl who dnt!!
as for family, yea they can be like tht sumtimes, but dnt let it get to u, look on the brightside!!
u sound like an absolutely great person, dnt let anyone else tell u otherwise :biggrin: okey dokey!!
Reply 15
oilcan
No, it's just you're being melodcramatic.
You have no right to die to be honest.
A few people are getting on your case boo hoo.
You don't live in grinding poverty. You actually have parents. You live in an opulent and safe country. You don't have to wave an AK in front of someone else's face. You have an education etc...

This is what really pisses me off about Western Society and especially Western Youth; they don't appreciate all the good things they have in their life, they take everything for granted, they never count their blessings. They concentrate on the small, trivial issues and augment them in to something they're not.


That sounds a bit harsh really :frown: That may all be true but happiness is relative, and at the moment she is struggling to feel happy. Perhaps it would be more constructive to be a little sensitive to how she is feeling. N offence meant to anyone there, just feel we should be supportive because she is obviously upset and feels like there's no-one to help. I know what that feels like, and I'm sure many others here do too.
Hope you feel better mate. :smile: Find someone you trust who you can confide in; it's the only thing that got me through. Hope you are able to do that. PM if ya wanna talk more. xxx
Reply 16
zaaks786
u sound like an absolutely great person, dnt let anyone else tell u otherwise :biggrin: okey dokey!!

um don't know how you worked that out but thanks :smile:
Thanks:
Joecool_Lemming- I feel really embarrassed because TSR is the only place I can now be myself and I don't really want people to base any conceptions about me on this. But I also have no-where else to turn and know you're all really helpful people.

Darth_vader05- yeah you joke about getting drunk all the time... that is becoming some sort of sucky coping mechanism

Jayjayjay- Similarly, i can see it must be partly my fault, that people kinda walk over me. Its a cycle, they do that, i feel worse, then get more quiet.
Reply 17
Saffie
um don't know how you worked that out but thanks :smile:
Thanks:
Joecool_Lemming- I feel really embarrassed because TSR is the only place I can now be myself and I don't really want people to base any conceptions about me on this. But I also have no-where else to turn and know you're all really helpful people.

Darth_vader05- yeah you joke about getting drunk all the time... that is becoming some sort of sucky coping mechanism

Jayjayjay- Similarly, i can see it must be partly my fault, that people kinda walk over me. Its a cycle, they do that, i feel worse, then get more quiet.


I was not suggesting it was your fault at all :eek: - just how I felt in a similar situation. I decide how I behave and I suppose that affects how people react to me =0)

Be dependent on yourself though - honestly drink and only add to the 'cycle' if you are feeling low or alone.
Don't worry, on the net is the only place I'm really myself either...but then who is myself? *confused*
I just go shy when meeting new people and trusting others, so this is easier for me.
Reply 19
JoeCool_Lemming
Don't worry, on the net is the only place I'm really myself either...but then who is myself? *confused*
I just go shy when meeting new people and trusting others, so this is easier for me.


I find that as well sometimes, I'm very shy with new people and it was said of me only today that that shynes is often interpreted as rudeness or arrogance. (?) =0(