Break up remedies....

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I would start with a good cry and get it all out of your system then grab a load of mates and go out somewhere. You don't have to get drunk, you could go bowling or to the cinema. Something to take your mind of it.

Reply 21

aliel

Break ups go in stages, well at least mine did. I went through the stage of disbelief, followed by manic crying,then emptiness and finally to a new-found sensitivity...what I think is important is to realise that there is an amazing and wondrous life that exists for you regardless of your partner not wanting to share it with you.

While it will take a long time for you to "get over" your ex, you may think it will never happen...a part of you will eventually let go and the upset that is caused everytime you hear THE song, or find yourself following a person in Sainsburys that isn't your guy/girl...it will float away. Try and do things that you and your partner did not get to do together, go and see places, experience new things...this will be just a taster of what is out there for you.

It is also important for you understand that (I know its hard 'cos we all have hope) it is over. I grabbed onto every thread I could, we even got back together for a while...but it actually took returning to a special place we had been together before, where we both shared so much love for each other. I said to myself, if he can't feel what I feel here...I don't want to be with someone who doesn't feel that spark everytime I look at them...

Reply 22

Daragh

chocolate supposedly has the same effect on the female brain as an orgasm. Thought Id throw that one in.
I get through depression with a good sing song, a cup of tea (not the cheap stuff - proper tea!), and alot of time bitchin about the person. A cry helps aswell!

Reply 23

~NC~

Eat chococolate, go out with your mates you will be over it very soon! :lollypop:

Reply 24

Jellycat

hey.

My bf broke up with me today after a year together, it was the most non mutual break up probably ever. Its all because of uni in september and we would 'just be delaying the inevitable' if we stayed together. Frustrating thing is he was crying which I've never seen him do and still loves me, so why cant we just stay together?We also have a holiday with a bunch of mates next week which I have to go and is going to be so horrible.

I seriously havent cried so much ever, gone kinda numb now. I'm just gonna keep myself busy and look forward to uni in september. I hope you get there too :redface:

Reply 25

saz_1989

Spend a couple days moping around and crying (no more than two) then get all the stuff that reminds you of them and throw it away or put it in a box. Then get out and do some stuff with your friends. Spend loads of time with people and do all the things you've been meaning to do (tidy your room, any coursework, etc etc). Do things to keep your mind off your ex, and try to have as much fun as possible. You think you'll never get over them; trust me you will. The more fun you have, the better, because then you won't associate good times with your ex. Chocolate helps. Doing exercise releases the body's happy hormones so that's great also. Plus you'll get fit and toned and hence attract someone new in no time (but remember to have a big of single time first cos it's fun!).

Reply 26

saz_1989

Jellycat

You'll be fine. I know how it feels to break up with someone you've been going out with for ages. After a week maximum this feeling will go away (honestly!). Go out with your friends or watch a good tv programme or do something to take your mind off it. Don't call him and when you feel you can, put all his things in a box. Eat some chocolate and ice cream, but in about a week, put that away and get down the gym - you can get fit, get happy, and find a few gym fitties to look at!

Reply 27

Jellycat

Thankyou

I know everyone gets there in the end its just this first bit that is so rubbish even if i think bout his name I start panicking and try and do something else or I'll cry, not that I can cry anymore I literally had to squeeze the last tear out and then from then on was making all the noises but I'd cried my tears actually dry. I'll have to go on a drip or something!

Going to finally get my summer job tomorrow, and gonna make sure I look super nice in my bikinni on our hol next week, show him what he's missin :biggrin:

Thanks though Lauren. Your advice meant a lot! Boys are rubbish.

Reply 28

Cirsium

Nooooooo don't get drunk!!!!!
You'll be happy for a few hours and then you will CRY
*checks* ok so you're a bloke - you might not cry.
Do you have female friends? I tend to find girly night in is te best remedy but I don't know that many blokes who do it.... but a night in with a couple of decent mates and videos is good
On the crying things... I NEED to cry generally. So rather than do it in front of every1 when you're pissed stick on the soppy music, cry your eyes out into a pillow, yell a bit, throw some stuff.... and ten calm down again

Reply 29

khil

MRLX69

When you've broken up with someone and you're feeling low, down, depressed..... what do you do to cheer yourself up?

Listen to sad music that reflects my mood with matching lyrics, lie in bed and cry my heart out. Then write lots of poems about it. Stare at his picture and cry some more, sleep, get up and cry some more. Talk to friends and cry some more.

Yeh I suppose some people think crying is a bit pathetic but as far as I'm concerned, crying is one of the best ways to let it out and when it hurts, you've gotta let it out or it kills you.

It passes with time. I find talking to a trusted friend, confronting all the questions and not being afraid to ask them and hear the answers, and crying lots and writing - all that combined really works for me :smile:

The worst thing I reckon is if you don't have all the answers and straight after a break up, answers are one of the most important things until it's stopped hurting enough for you to realise - actually, it doesn't matter anymore :smile:

Well, this is me anyway :biggrin:

Reply 30

khil

Jellycat

Heh sounds like what I did to my ex :redface:

except it was for religious reasons which means there really is no alternative I didn't feel right about it. The length of my relationship was nothing long - just a month - but I'd put so much into it we might as well have been together for a few years :redface:

Have you tried talking to him? Long distance relationships do work. Nah I don't think "showing him what he's missing" is a good idea - if he was crying when he broke up with you, you do that to him you'll only hurt him. Hurting the person you love is the worst feeling ever cus I did that to my ex and for ages, even after it had stopped hurting it still took a while before I forgave myself, before the regret went away. Just appreciate the good times - no point denying it - you had a good time with him, right? Appreciate him for who he is, understand it's nobody's fault, let your hurt out it's ok to cry, writing really helps me maybe you can try that. Then learn to stop thinking about him. Maybe keeping a friendship would help too - cus it really messed me up for a while when I thought I'd lost my ex as a friend as well.

You do get through this sorta stuff. You really do :smile:

I did - and yeh I know mine was just a month, but I was so serious about him it took my 6 months to get over him. But I did get over him. So would you :hugs:

Maybe keep a friendship. That might help - but for now, try cutting contact for a bit, give you both time and space.