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    Theres this girl in my group of friends who is always making snidey comments to me.
    basically I admit that since I split up with a long term boyfriend I have been out clubbing a lot and pulled a few guys. but its not exactly a crime is it! I went to a club the other night and before I left, in front of all my other mates she said *****ily "dont shag too many blokes tonight!"
    I have never had a one night stand or done anything like that tho so i cant see why she is being so *****y to me!
    Once I did get drunk and ended up staying round a friend of mine's house, and he did invite all my mates as well cos he had a free house. Obviously in the end it was only me that agreed to go back with him, and although all we did was fall asleep she seems to think that i see him purely for sex.
    Although were not like that, we do go out with each other a lot but its nothing serious cos Im leaving the area soon when i go to uni.
    she is so judgmental and it gets to me cos its not as if I end up sleepin with random blokes every weekend - even if i did it would be my business and not hers wouldnt it!
    Sorry this is so long but she gets me so angry the way she puts me down in front of everyone else, and it makes me feel guilty for things that I shouldnt even feel guilty about!
    How do u think I should handle this? I cant say anything about her cos shes been with the same bloke for nearly a year. I dunno what ive done to anger her, maybe shes jealous cos her bloke gives her zero attention :eek:
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    Hey jen ,

    for starters ask her why she's acting this way???

    then as for pullin random guys, theres no harm in it you're young free and single she really does not ahve a right to be so judgemental of you!
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    yeah but I know if i ask her she'll be even worse saying "uh why do you think?" it really drags me down cos its constant little comments so now i dont even bother telling anyone what i get up to anymore lol!
    EXACTLY!! youre only 18 once and to be honest its good for me to get it out of my system before i settle down

    I think i should rise above it tho, whats worse is were all going on holiday together and I know shes gona tell every1 to keep an eye out for me!
    i wouldnt be bothered if she only said it as a joke, its just the way she says it.
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    How does everyone else feel and act around/towards you??
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    Nothing really cos im not the only one in my group who is single, i know a few people dont like it cos theyre with a long term boyfriend so cant really understand the situation.
    No-one else in my group has ever said anything like she does, in fact a couple of my mates just say things in a jokey way after a night out, you know like "so did you find another cute bloke last night?"
    To be honest she has said a few *****y things about one of her best mates behind her back, threatening to tell her friends mum about her behaviour. (all she did was hav one night stand with a friend for gods sake!)
    i dunno how to cope with it really, I could just ignore her but id love to slap her round the face one day for thinking shes so much better than everyone else
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    (Original post by Amzybaby24)
    How does everyone else feel and act around/towards you??
    ...........and what do your other friends think about the comments that are being made to you? I can't find anything at all in your initial post that would justify the things this girl has said to you.
    Btw - does she make sure there are others within earshot when she makes these comments? Is she trying to prove something to everyone else, and you just happen to be an easy target?
    Wahtever the reasons, it's not nice imo.
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    Its always in front of other people, i think she has really low self esteem and because she knows im not a confrontational person she reckons she can say things about me to boost herself.

    (Original post by bodhisattva)
    I can't find anything at all in your initial post that would justify the things this girl has said to you.
    Exactly, her two best mates (also really good friends of mine) have done more things than i ever have and yet she'll never say spiteful things directly to them.

    It just annoys me cos im by no means the sort of girl who deserves that sort of reputation, i think its cos out of all the single girls i admit ive probably pulled the most when we go out clubbing and stuff.. but so what!?! it doesnt justify her saying stuff like that to me :mad:
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    Surely they must, and she must ahve had a time when they were single, before there relationships, + therefore must have been through the stage that you're in now??

    Therefore remind her of that.. shes more likely to understnad, and will hopefully lay off you!!!

    This girls seems troubled she was gonna tell someone's mum? yikes! she has issues and they are not your fault, maybe shes somehow jealous, problems with her own relationship etc, so shes jealous coz you get to have FUN! and she's tied down!
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    Hi, I have a friend who sounds a bit like you, she split from her boyfriend and started going out a lot and not exactly pulling but chatting up guys and stuff. She's a pretty girl, and she got treated really badly in her previous relationship so quite a few of my friends (inc. me) thought that she deserved some positive attention.
    However, some of our friends were a bit concerned about her, and I was for a while too, coz she was vunerable from the breakup and was sort of going after people who paid attention to her because they made her feel good without much consideration for what sort of person they were.
    this resulted in a few people being a bit *****y out of concern, not coz they thought she was a slut of whatever, so maybe your friends reactions are due to that? Also just to clarify, I'm not saying ur exactly like my mate, I think she went a bit further than you seem to have so maybe she provoked a more serious reaction.
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    (Original post by Amzybaby24)
    Surely they must, and she must ahve had a time when they were single, before there relationships, + therefore must have been through the stage that you're in now??

    Therefore remind her of that.. shes more likely to understnad, and will hopefully lay off you!!!

    This girls seems troubled she was gonna tell someone's mum? yikes! she has issues and they are not your fault, maybe shes somehow jealous, problems with her own relationship etc, so shes jealous coz you get to have FUN! and she's tied down!
    I know its shocking that she threatened to betray her best friend and go and tell her mum about what she gets up to!!! that is such a harsh step to take and totally undeserved cos this friend is by no means off the rails or anything
    I think its cos she is besotted with her boyfriend and yet it is so obvious he is only with her for sex, maybe she feels hurt and insecure so has to talk down to other people.
    All I know is that I dont deserve to be talked to like im some kind of sex addict, and if i was it aint got anything to do with her anyway lol :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by poptart86)
    All I know is that I dont deserve to be talked to like im some kind of sex addict, and if i was it aint got anything to do with her anyway lol :rolleyes:
    JEN! TELL HER EXCACTLY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    (Original post by raven4723)
    she was vunerable from the breakup and was sort of going after people who paid attention to her because they made her feel good without much consideration for what sort of person they were.
    that does sound like me a few months ago, i was seeing this bloke (her boyfriends best mate in fact) purely because he was the only person giving me attention and I felt that I needed a boyfriend to feel good about myself.
    I understand what youre saying, obviously friends do worry if it seems their mate it gonna get hurt - but then again she doesnt say it in a sincere way like "im worried about you", its more shes saying it solely to hurt my feelings.
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    (Original post by Amzybaby24)
    JEN! TELL HER EXCACTLY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Ok heres my plan!! if she says so much as anything that could be interpreted as being *****y, ill ask her whats it got to do with her anyway?
    Ooh I hope she does say something now i feel like having a really good slanging match with her
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    (Original post by poptart86)
    that does sound like me a few months ago, i was seeing this bloke (her boyfriends best mate in fact) purely because he was the only person giving me attention and I felt that I needed a boyfriend to feel good about myself.
    I understand what youre saying, obviously friends do worry if it seems their mate it gonna get hurt - but then again she doesnt say it in a sincere way like "im worried about you", its more shes saying it solely to hurt my feelings.
    i know what you mean about it not sounding sincere - but sometimes its hard to tell people you're concerned and not sound like jealous/overprotective/spoilsport etc. But maybe you are right coz it sounds like shes being totally unreasonable!
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    (Original post by poptart86)
    Ok heres my plan!! if she says so much as anything that could be interpreted as being *****y, ill ask her whats it got to do with her anyway?
    Ooh I hope she does say something now i feel like having a really good slanging match with her
    u go 4 it.

    as long as you feel happy carry on doing what you want. and keep me posted please
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    I will keep you posted!
    Thanks for everyone's help; I didnt know how to react to her comments, but i realise that I havent done anything wrong so she has no right to talk to me like that :p:
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    (Original post by poptart86)
    I will keep you posted!
    Thanks for everyone's help; I didnt know how to react to her comments, but i realise that I havent done anything wrong so she has no right to talk to me like that :p:
    YAY!
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    Sounds like shes jealous. You have a single life and she wants it. Just ignore her and enjoy yourself.
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    Slap her. Put her in her place, its the only way!!
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    :rolleyes: yeah that should do it! unless of course shes alot bigger than you... if so make sure you get a good few punches before she see you!
 
 
 
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