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    hello!

    so, I have this seven-year-old friend, B. i've known him since he was born and i used to babysit him regularly, but unfortunately a couple of years ago his family moved to the other end of the country so i don't see him very often. i'm quite worried about him just now and i was hoping somebody might be able to offer advice...

    he's a great wee boy but he is quite unusual in some respects. he's extremely musical and highly imaginative....you might call him "sensitive". this isn't serving him well in primary school, and he's being bullied by at least one other boy in his class. he called me today and talked told me about it... apparently the boy calls him names, shoves him, snatches things off him and encourages other kids to ignore him. all the usual bully fare. B's very philosophical about it ("he's just an angry person") but i'm afraid if it goes on he'll lose confidence and be set up to have a bad time throughout school. i had a similar experience in primary school and while it doesn't seem to have done any serious lasting damage, i think if i'd found a way to stop it (or at least cope with it properly) i'd have had a better time in secondary school and i might be a more ebullient person now! which would be nice.

    i wish i could advise him somehow, but since i don't have any younger siblings myself, i'm really not sure how to deal with it. does anyone have any suggestions on how to counsel him without making a huge deal out of it?
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    Arrr poor boy!
    Do his parents know about the bullying? If so maybe they can talk to his teacher about it? I'd expect the school to have a policy to deal with bullying.
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    Because what the kid is doing is extremely petty then if you encourage your friend to tell a teacher and the bully gets in trouble then because he is probably relatively naive and no real experience if life then maybe getting into real serious trouble will hit him hard and he'll stop as a result

    To be honest kids at that age dont usually keep it up, because it is so petty it will only usually go on for a certain amount of time. I knew loads of incidents of this and bit later on they weren't friends but civil to each other etc, they get bored. so tell him that, it is reasurrance afterall that this punk kid will stop.
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    poor kid. though im sure basically all kids were either bully or bullied at that age.
    o and markus - its spelt schizophrenic - no 't'.
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    Definitely get the school involved. Most primary schools have policies on bullying and ways to deal with it, and if they don't it's usually because "we don't have a problem". Encourage him to talk to his parents about it and them to go to the school.
    Whatever you advise him to do, don't encourage him to just put up with it. I know that seems like the easiest option, especially as the bullying currently isn't particularly violent or anything and he apparently understands that it's not really his fault and it's because the other kid has problems (remarkable seven-year-old! Took me years to figure that out.), but like you say, it could have an impact on the rest of his school career. If the bully finds that he can intimidate other people in this way, then his behaviour may well deteriorate and his bullying will become worse and thus harder to deal with.
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    (Original post by Markus)
    Because what the kid is doing is extremely petty then if you encourage your friend to tell a teacher and the bully gets in trouble then because he is probably relatively naive and no real experience if life then maybe getting into real serious trouble will hit him hard and he'll stop as a result

    To be honest kids at that age dont usually keep it up, because it is so petty it will only usually go on for a certain amount of time. I knew loads of incidents of this and bit later on they weren't friends but civil to each other etc, they get bored. so tell him that, it is reasurrance afterall that this punk kid will stop.
    O ya good point haven't thought about that :rolleyes:
    I'm just hoping the teachers are experienced in handling this kinda things (i.e. if they are aware of the bullying they'd deal with it subtly).
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    (Original post by Jamie)
    poor kid. though im sure basically all kids were either bully or bullied at that age.
    o and markus - its spelt schizophrenic - no 't'.
    Thought it didnt look right. Thanks Jamie.
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    he sounds like he's not bothered by it. but he should either speak to his teacher/get his parents to speak to his teacher, or stand up to the bully. i've found that on the whole, standing up to bullies makes them shut up pretty fast, as they're normally the scared insecure ones.
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    (Original post by ChocoVet)
    O ya good point haven't thought about that :rolleyes:
    I'm just hoping the teachers are experienced in handling this kinda things (i.e. if they are aware of the bullying they'd deal with it subtly).
    Yeah first of all the teachers will start of telling him subtly not to do whatever, try to make him feel a little guilty. Then if that doesnt work shout at him, threaten to do something and make him cry, really hammer it into him. Either way it wont go on, dont worry.
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    cheers for the advice folks.
    i believe he has discussed it with his mum, who i'm sure will talk to the school about it. i just hope it gets sorted out before he starts to see himself as an outsider.
    god, it must be totally nerve-shredding to be a parent!
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    Children can get away with being odd if they present themselves as the sort of people who won't be a victim. Personally, I'm of the opinion that you should teach your children to sort out the problem without any school/parental involvement other than giving advice - it's his problem and he'll benefit from solving it himself, and hopefully learn that there aren't always people to turn to for help.
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    I have a sister about his age and if i found out that she was getting treated like that i would tell my parents and get them to go to the school and have it sorted out. Talk to his parents about this if you can and they'll be able to try and put a stop to this.
 
 
 
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