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    • Thread Starter


    I was just wondering, how difficult do you think it is to have a full time career in the armed forces and successfully manage to support a family?
    I personally believe it's possible to have a happy, successful relationship with a partner, if both members are honest, trustworthy and show alot of devotion to each other.
    What I do find hard to believe is how people manage to have a family while working in the armed forces...

    Now I'm only young and it's not worth me even thinking about settling down for a long while yet, but I can't help wonder what would happen. What are your views\opinions on this matter? Do you think it can be done? Just as easy as having a civilian career?

    • CV Helper

    CV Helper
    It can be done, and plenty of people do it. Just don't think it'll be as easy, or a simple, as it would be if you worked in a supermarket...
    • Thread Starter

    Yeah, I guess your right. But let's be honest so many things can go wrong. People in the Special Forces are said to have the highest ever divorce rate. This is obviously understandable because your always going on detachments, I just think it would be the same for any regiment in the Armed Forces.

    Well it is definately possible, my folks managed to stay together throughout my fathers 22 years in the army and are still very pally pally. Just depends on how strong the relationship is. There is also of support that the soldiers wives give each other when their husbands are away on tour and also you sort of get used to it.

    I remember that as a youngster it was always nasty when my father went away for 6 months at a time but after the second or third instance it's just like "oh is he off again??"


    it's certainly possible. my grandfather was in the RAF for aaages (actually he still kind of is, in the auxilliary air force anyway) and he and my grandmother have never had any problems, similarly, both of my parents were RAF officers - my mother until i was born, and my father for nearly 16 years, and they are still together and happy. i'd say that the only real spanner in the works is children - if you have kids you'll probably eventually find yourself making a decision between children and career. it's pretty impossible for a child to get a good secondary education when he or she is constantly moving around, so boarding school is kind of the only option apart from leaving the services (my grandparents' children all went to boarding school, my father left the RAF shortly after i got in to secondary school to avoid having to split our family up). furthermore, i have my doubts about how healthy it is for children to be moved around every couple of years - in some ways i really liked the nomadic existence, but in others i can see how moving around may have affected my ability to socialise. i find that i get 'itchy feet' and get bored of places, situations and people quite quickly, and similarly find it very difficult to get close to people. i know that this can hardly be blamed entirely on the armed forces, but i imagine that that character trait of mine may have been exacerbated by never staying in one place long enough to get attached - kind of a defensive mechanism that stopped me from missing friends when i moved on. in conclusion, of course you can support your family, but you have to consider that there can be other, more negative, effects of service life, which might not be easy to see at first.

    My Dad was in the RAF for 29, almost 30 years, and my parents have a really strong relationship They've managed to bring up 2 children, have family holidays, christmases, bought a house, things like that all reasonably well. Now my Dad is almost 49, he's retired from the RAF when he was 46, has a good pension, so can spend as much time as he wants with my Mam. He has a job now, just as he was bored of being round the house, but really, now that they've moved somewhere they're going to settle down now, they're very happy. My Mam was 19 when she married him, and from never being away from home, to going 300 odd miles away, she's done pretty good. From the wife's persepctive, yeah she missed my Dad when he was away, and having 2 children on her own, she had lots of support and says absence makes the heart grow fonder. :love: So really what I'm saying is, if you want to join the armed forces, go for it. When you find someone you love and want to settle down with, she will understand, and if she doesn't she's not the one for you I guess. I hope you have a great career, I talk to my Dad about his times in the RAF and he really did have the time of his life, especially when he was young but even when he was married he said it was better to have someone to share it with


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