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consentual sex and the age of consent watch

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    But this isn't about hypothetical 'how kids ought to think'. They do think these things and act accordingly, and not to recognise that is simply naive.
    I didn't mean "find out which ones are the *******s by shagging them", and I'm sorry if it sounded that way. But telling kids 'don't sleep with him, he's an ******* who doesn't love you and will leave as soon as he's taken what he wants from you' really doesn't work for the vast majority of them. They're much happier to accept their friends' and their own experience (not necessarily sexual) of such people.
    Sex is considered to be important because that's how our society portrays it. That's why kids are so keen to start having it, or at least to claim they are. If you want to stop them having sex, do something about that culture.
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    (Original post by Madelyn)
    But this isn't about hypothetical 'how kids ought to think'. They do think these things and act accordingly, and not to recognise that is simply naive.
    I didn't mean "find out which ones are the *******s by shagging them", and I'm sorry if it sounded that way. But telling kids 'don't sleep with him, he's an ******* who doesn't love you and will leave as soon as he's taken what he wants from you' really doesn't work for the vast majority of them. They're much happier to accept their friends' and their own experience (not necessarily sexual) of such people.
    Sex is considered to be important because that's how our society portrays it. That's why kids are so keen to start having it, or at least to claim they are. If you want to stop them having sex, do something about that culture.
    Not all people react the same way to their peers. Some people go through their teens knowing that there are *******s out there and develop judgement of character, become mature, have relationships, learn to be intimate before ever considering sex. A lot of people who have that attitude tend to have happier relationships and sometimes a better sex life later on.
    The thing is, the vast majority of 14 and 15 year olds don't give in to peer pressure, sometimes because there is no peer pressure because people around them don't claim to be sleeping around.
    All you can do to help kids who lack the maturity to understand that they don't need to have sex is inform them, not just about safe sex, but about sex itself in relationships, to be more open about sex. Quite a few of the kids who lose their virginity at a young age know less about sex and relationships than their peers. At least telling them about how relationships work will help.
    Just telling them to go and do mistakes isn't helpful in any way whatsoever.
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    (Original post by Madelyn)
    But this isn't about hypothetical 'how kids ought to think'. They do think these things and act accordingly, and not to recognise that is simply naive.
    As is tarring them all with the same brush.

    I didn't mean "find out which ones are the *******s by shagging them", and I'm sorry if it sounded that way. But telling kids 'don't sleep with him, he's an ******* who doesn't love you and will leave as soon as he's taken what he wants from you' really doesn't work for the vast majority of them. They're much happier to accept their friends' and their own experience (not necessarily sexual) of such people.
    Sex is considered to be important because that's how our society portrays it. That's why kids are so keen to start having it, or at least to claim they are. If you want to stop them having sex, do something about that culture
    I wish I could. But there are people out there saying "this is the way it is so deal with it" which make it that much harder. Of course kids will always make mistakes and some will get emotionally screwed up. And some will be fine, and most will be somewhere in the middle. But just because someone is experienced and it all worked out for them doesn't mean that they're more ok with handling people and relationships than someone who didn't jump into bed at 14.
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    (Original post by Helenia)
    I was almost 21 before I lost my virginity and I don't regret that for a second.
    rightly so. you go girl! :p:
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    (Original post by Whizz Kid)
    rightly so. you go girl! :p:
    To be fair, I didn't really have the opportunity until I was at uni (fairly messed up schooldays) but still feel better for having waited for someone vaguely interested in me rather than just sleeping around.
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    What I've been trying to write in my posts is the advice I would give to a friend. Too many of the posts on here are from badly informed people who haven't even developed a proper view on sex and relationships yet. A lot of views go along the lines "I'm 13 and all me mates say they've done it. My mate John even says he's tried out the whole Kama Sutra so yeah, it's ok to have sex if you feel ready". Those are views that come from someone whose only source of information are the stories/lies of their friends. :rolleyes:

    As Helenia mentioned, to claim that all kids think that way is a bit insulting for the majority of young people who are mature enough to understand the basics of relationships and who don't have underage sex. Out there, there are many young adults who when they're 15 don't give into peer pressure and who realise they still have to have proper relationships before considering sex.

    To just say, as some people have done, "Well I had sex when I was underage and it was ok and anyway your first time is always crap" doesn't help out anyone and even if you did have a good experience of underage sex, a lot of people don't.

    This thread is showing that unfortunately, in this country, there are a lot of immature, misinformed teenagers. There's not much that can be done. There will always be dumb kids who will make mistakes but if you're a friend of one of them, nothing stops you from giving advice to them...
 
 
 
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