The Student Room Group

What does this kind of intense eye contact signify?

I met this guy at my work last year, and we became close friends very quickly. That was all it ever was as we were both in relationships. But as we were given a project to work on together, which meant late nights etc, we became even closer, and soon I was falling for him. The relationship ended up getting in the way of our real relationships to the point that they thought we were cheating on them(we weren't,physically anyway) The thing is, we never admitted any feelings outright, just hinted at it...

But the deeper the relationship became, the more intense things got. I'd look up in the office and we'd lock eyes...and we'd just stare and stare at eachother. Sometimes I broke contact & I could see him still watching me after it, which I hated as I can't hide feelings well! Other times he'd kind of smile and look confused then look away. Anyway I left work nearly a year ago now, and was glad as it had become too intense. I hadn't seen him since, although we talk a few times a week still.

Then a few nights ago we met after all that time, he greeted me with a huge smile & we hugged for a while. Then, he asked how I was, and the second after I replied, something changed straight away. We just stared into eachother eyes in a magnetic kind of way, I literally felt that I could not look away...but it wasn't in a smiley kind of way, we both went from smiling at eachother to looking in an intense, almost shocked kind of manner. I went home later that night & actually cried about it!! I felt really affected.

Now people will probably say I'm over-reacting, looking into it too much etc etc, but I've never had this with anyone else, not even previous boyfriends. One minute everything is very light-hearted, then suddenly everything changes. The thing is, I'm pretty sure he looks as dumb founded as me. What is this, what does it mean?

Reply 1

Well it seems pretty obvious: you both like each other, a lot. You say you built up this intense relationship a year ago which expressed itself mostly by eye contact, so it seems logical that you had a rush of those intense feelings when you had the same eye contact with him a few nights ago. Eye contact can mean a lot more than some people think, it seems to be a way of telling each other how you feel without explicitly saying it. I'm in a similar situation. I've fallen for a girl and I'm fairly certain she likes me as well, yet neither of us has spoken about it, we just always seem to lock eyes. It strange, I'm apprehensive about speaking to her about it as I guess doing so will admit I have feelings for her, and then this will take our relationship top a new level. Personally, I know I'm safe in my current situation, our relationship will stay as it is (friends really) if I don't do anything and in that way its kind of secure. Telling her however is kind of a risk, it may screw things up completely, but it could lead to something really good. We both kind of know we like each other (at least that's what I think!), but we cannot be certain of it, so that's why I've stayed in my current situation, I'm scared to move the relationship into unknown territory. My point is, it sounds like you may have not spoken to each other just because of the risk of doing so.

A year ago you went from being involved in a intense situation, with all these feeling rush around and had them suddenly cut off. So in a way they were stored, there wasn't a period were they faded out, they just stopped all of a sudden. So when you had this eye contact with him the other night, all your feelings came rushing back and it sounds like it happened to him as well. Our bodies aren't overly good a coping with such a sudden rush, and the natural way to express your emotion is through crying. If you aren't going to see him again for a while your feelings may just be cut off like last time and perhaps you may not think of him again, but if you are going to see him regularly then these thoughts will probably hang around. So in that situation, it would probably be best to talk to him about it, speak openly of it and things may begin to make sense.

Reply 2

Well he either likes you, or he is trying to hypnotise you. Too tough to call.

Reply 3

Should have just gone in for the kiss.

Reply 4

it means he has an erection

Reply 5

i'm getting a boner reading this! :lol:

Reply 6

NLight
Well it seems pretty obvious: you both like each other, a lot. You say you built up this intense relationship a year ago which expressed itself mostly by eye contact, so it seems logical that you had a rush of those intense feelings when you had the same eye contact with him a few nights ago. Eye contact can mean a lot more than some people think, it seems to be a way of telling each other how you feel without explicitly saying it. I'm in a similar situation. I've fallen for a girl and I'm fairly certain she likes me as well, yet neither of us has spoken about it, we just always seem to lock eyes. It strange, I'm apprehensive about speaking to her about it as I guess doing so will admit I have feelings for her, and then this will take our relationship top a new level. Personally, I know I'm safe in my current situation, our relationship will stay as it is (friends really) if I don't do anything and in that way its kind of secure. Telling her however is kind of a risk, it may screw things up completely, but it could lead to something really good. We both kind of know we like each other (at least that's what I think!), but we cannot be certain of it, so that's why I've stayed in my current situation, I'm scared to move the relationship into unknown territory. My point is, it sounds like you may have not spoken to each other just because of the risk of doing so.

A year ago you went from being involved in a intense situation, with all these feeling rush around and had them suddenly cut off. So in a way they were stored, there wasn't a period were they faded out, they just stopped all of a sudden. So when you had this eye contact with him the other night, all your feelings came rushing back and it sounds like it happened to him as well. Our bodies aren't overly good a coping with such a sudden rush, and the natural way to express your emotion is through crying. If you aren't going to see him again for a while your feelings may just be cut off like last time and perhaps you may not think of him again, but if you are going to see him regularly then these thoughts will probably hang around. So in that situation, it would probably be best to talk to him about it, speak openly of it and things may begin to make sense.


Yeah I think you're definitely right about it being a way of expressing feelings without saying the words, however even when these moments make me feel pretty certain of both our feelings, the lack of verbal expression still makes me very doubtful!

Every time it happens I feel like all the wind has been knocked out of me, it's like I have no control over myself anymore! It always feels as though the other is searching for something in the other. It's very frustrating. It's like there must be some kind of really, really, complex scientific explanation for this...I suppose I just want the answer! I mean, I would say yes, we like eachother, but I've really liked people in the past and never experienced such a powerful reaction.

And thanks to the other posters, you gave me a laugh, I appreciate it :wink:

Reply 7

Anonymous
Yeah I think you're definitely right about it being a way of expressing feelings without saying the words, however even when these moments make me feel pretty certain of both our feelings, the lack of verbal expression still makes me very doubtful!

Every time it happens I feel like all the wind has been knocked out of me, it's like I have no control over myself anymore! It always feels as though the other is searching for something in the other. It's very frustrating. It's like there must be some kind of really, really, complex scientific explanation for this...I suppose I just want the answer! I mean, I would say yes, we like eachother, but I've really liked people in the past and never experienced such a powerful reaction.

And thanks to the other posters, you gave me a laugh, I appreciate it :wink:

I agree, doubt is the worst thing. Personally I've come to the realisation that nothing will happen between me and the girl I like unless I do something, I can't wait around for something to just happen as it may never happen and I'll forever regret not doing anything; I like her way to much for that to happen. So I've decided to take the risk, although I still haven't figured out exactly how I'm going to tell her! I'm going to try my hardest to forget about any of my doubts and just go for it!

For me I know there is something there, it may not be all of what I hope it may be, but there is certainly something there. And it certainly sounds like there's something between you and this guy, he may not feel completely the same way about you, but there must be something there otherwise you wouldn't have had the intense eye contact.

I would say go for it, try and talk to him about it. But actually you may not have to simply tell him, you may be able to find out for certain if he likes you using some other method, although I've no idea what you could do! If you like this guy a lot, then you can't sit by and do nothing about it, because it most likely won't turn into something and you'll be forever wondering. Ask yourself, is the happiness you could gain from talking to him about it worth the risk?

Reply 8

I've had one or two of those moments, not as intense as that sounds though :s-smilie: totally weird!

Reply 9

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Reply 10

He is without doubt a wizard. Tell him to stop using his powers on a mere mortal as urself.

Reply 11

NLight
I agree, doubt is the worst thing. Personally I've come to the realisation that nothing will happen between me and the girl I like unless I do something, I can't wait around for something to just happen as it may never happen and I'll forever regret not doing anything; I like her way to much for that to happen. So I've decided to take the risk, although I still haven't figured out exactly how I'm going to tell her! I'm going to try my hardest to forget about any of my doubts and just go for it!

For me I know there is something there, it may not be all of what I hope it may be, but there is certainly something there. And it certainly sounds like there's something between you and this guy, he may not feel completely the same way about you, but there must be something there otherwise you wouldn't have had the intense eye contact.

I would say go for it, try and talk to him about it. But actually you may not have to simply tell him, you may be able to find out for certain if he likes you using some other method, although I've no idea what you could do! If you like this guy a lot, then you can't sit by and do nothing about it, because it most likely won't turn into something and you'll be forever wondering. Ask yourself, is the happiness you could gain from talking to him about it worth the risk?


I admire your courage! I thought about telling him a few times but always ended up chickening out haha! But the situation is quite complex...it's fair to say that if we ever did act on our feelings a few people very close to us would be adequately hurt in the process...and I'm just not prepared to do that for my own personal gain...but yeah, I would say if you feel you could tell her then you should, because I do have some pretty embedded regrets now.

There is actually more to the story where he almost told me...but I can't say it here, too paranoid in case anyone sees this haha :smile: But yeah, there's always that fear that I've been miraculously wrong all along, in which case it would completely change everything...although instinct is defnitely a powerful thing.

All I can say is that I truly feel, in my heart, that this could have been something amazing. But because of my desire to not hurt other people, ( we are both with people at the moment, and not seeing him has been my way of coping with, and avoiding the situation) I cannot ever act. It is a horrid situation to be in :frown:

Reply 12

Original post by southernlady
Wow! This has helped me tremendously. I experience the same issue. I like this man and I'm sure he likes me in return. I just don't know if he is concerned about his position or if he is already in a relationship or what. All I know for sure is that we both are attracted to one another. I'd like to see where things may lead but I don't know if he reciprocates the same desire. I'm at the point I am ready to walk away because I've become emotionally attached to him and I'm unsure if he wants to pursue anything ( or shall I say " Willing to" at this point...

Reply 13

I've been working for a company for the past six months have a crush on my boss pretty much from the start. I'm not going to lie I flirted aggresively with her from the start. At the time she mentioned that she was divorced and was dating. so very early on it got to a point where she would stay an hour to two hours past her work hours. 90% of the conversation was about work but it felt like it was more about what we weren't saying to each other. so it's been pretty much a push and pull between us for the last 6 months. I mean she has found reasons to stand very close to me when there was really no need to I've caught her staring at me with a smile on her face. and it was one time she wanted me to look at something on her phone so I was really close to her face and out of my peripheral vision I can see her looking at me well I was looking at her phone.

Reply 14

Original post by BobtheHob
He is without doubt a wizard. Tell him to stop using his powers on a mere mortal as urself.


Bob's 100% correct.
Take this to wizard forums as it really isn't on topic here.

Reply 15

I'm in love with a woman at my job and last Friday March 30, 2018 while I was outside on my phone she walked by and our eyes met. The stare was so intense it gave me a hard on. She broke contact and went in. We have known each other for over a year and have talked occasionally. We're both married. I ignored her and she stopped coming around to my work station for over a month so I started talking to other women. This seemed to make her jealous. That's when she looked me in my eyes without smiling. This told me she was interested. Today we started talking again. She makes my heart go crazy every time I see her.
(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 16

Look into my eyes, look into the eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around the eyes, look into my eyes...

You're under.