How long must I cuddle after sex to avoid the whole "you don't love me" violin? It's seriously impeding on my beauty sleep. I don't know how much of this I can take before sleep deprivation, and even poorer judgement sees me permanently in the dog house. For example, she rests her head on my manly chest and asks:
"Do you love me?"
"Yeah, sure."
"How much?"
"A lot"
"How come you're so aloof?"
"I'm tired, that’s all - after all I just gave it to you good for 4 minutes."
"I don’t think that’s it… can I ask you a question, and will you be completely honest?"
(oh, ****! There goes my beauty sleep!) "Can it wait until tomorrow?"
"I knew it! You don’t love me!"
"What? Of course I love you, don’t be silly! Go ahead, ask – I was just kidding!"
"Are you truly happy?"
"Oh, yeah! Of course I am. What makes you ask?"
"I don’t know… are you sure you’re happy? Anything that would make you happier?"
"Yes, I’m happy. But if you’re serious about making me happier…?"
"Yes, of course I’m serious. What is it?"
"Remember that waitress at Kirsten’s last week, Jennifer?"
"If that’s her name, but yes – I know who you’re talking about…"
"Well, would you be opposed if I invited her to join us in our love making?"
Next thing I know, I’m sleeping with the dog outside. I’m lucky if I got 6 hours of sleep that night. Please be precise up to the second, I hate wasting away any precious seconds I can use on my beauty sleep.