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    (Original post by anjimcflanji)
    sorry forgot to ask.....does your future husband have to be a virgin too.....??? that might decrease numbers slightly.......
    slightly??i m sure u meant 'significantly'
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    (Original post by Amanda)
    I'm more of a mid-twenties person myself. If I waited until my 30's, and if my husband & I wanted children, I don't want to be like mid-thirties and not be able to concieve. Adoption is fine but I'd much rather try to have my own first.
    What exactly do you mean my virginity? Simply technical virginity and other sexual acts would be acceptable?
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    (Original post by anjimcflanji)
    does your future husband have to be a virgin too.....???
    I don't mind if he's not a virgin (especially nowadays, you can't really expect that from anyone), because if he can accept my views and decisions then I won't really be bothered by his past decisions, as long as he doesn't have an STD or fathered a child, which then I would be quite weary of him (it's basically like a red flag warning that he isn't responsible) and it may take me longer to accept something like that!
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    (Original post by Amanda)
    ...date a girl who wanted to remain a virgin until marriage?? Because it seems to me like not many do, and they either (1) don't want to date me anymore after finding out or (2) pretend to be okay with it, in hopes that they will be the one to somehow "change" the way I think and get me to give in... Maybe I'm just looking for some type of guy that doesn't exist... ?

    Opinions, anyone? :confused:
    i think a guy could only ever really do this if he was a virgin himself, otherwise sexual frustration really does set in. if a guy is a virgin then it is easier to resist tempation, but if someone they're not then i'm sure they'd always be thinking about sleeping with their girlfriend. it is a very big decision either way. x
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    fair play i mean i dont intend on remaining a virgin til 2015 (if anyone wants me to marry them) but i know that i wouldnt really want a guy with an std or child either as that's not the way i want things. have to say tho i think what you're doing is good can't say i have that much self control!!
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    i suppose it also depends on whether you're doing it because you're a christian or because you just want to do it. i have a friend who's had your view amanda and is a strict christian. she now has a boyfriend and i can tell she's happy just courting and being old fashioned - it does have a charm to it, so good on you! x
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    (Original post by SamTheMan)
    What exactly do you mean my virginity? Simply technical virginity and other sexual acts would be acceptable?
    That would really depend on each persons definiton of "other sexual acts", because that can really vary person to person... I'm not really even sure at the moment, as of now I mean "all sexual acts" but if I were to be in a long-term relationship someday, I suppose I might be okay with other acts, but it deff. wouldn't be something I would do with every boyfriend, there would have to be alot of trust in the relationship...

    Does that make any sense? :confused: LOL Sorry if I'm confusing people!
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    (Original post by Amanda)
    That would really depend on each persons definiton of "other sexual acts", because that can really vary person to person... I'm not really even sure at the moment, as of now I mean "all sexual acts" but if I were to be in a long-term relationship someday, I suppose I might be okay with other acts, but it deff. wouldn't be something I would do with every boyfriend, there would have to be alot of trust in the relationship...

    Does that make any sense? :confused: LOL Sorry if I'm confusing people!
    i think you're scared of wasting you're virginity. i should think that's a normal thing. you might find someone and find it too hard to 'not' sleep with them?
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    I'd find it hard to be with someone for so long because to do so I'd have to have a proper connection and feel intimate towards them. I would'nt feel very intimate if we didn't have sex.
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    (Original post by Eddie K)
    i suppose it also depends on whether you're doing it because you're a christian or because you just want to do it.
    I suppose it could be both, really... I do for the most part have christian views, everyone in my family has basic christian views on things, so it's what my parents taught me... my parents have given me their views on morals but ultimately know I'm going to make whatever decision that I want.. So ultimately this is a personal decision, although I'm sure what I've been taught has contributed somewhat to it.
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    (Original post by Amanda)
    That would really depend on each persons definiton of "other sexual acts", because that can really vary person to person... I'm not really even sure at the moment, as of now I mean "all sexual acts" but if I were to be in a long-term relationship someday, I suppose I might be okay with other acts, but it deff. wouldn't be something I would do with every boyfriend, there would have to be alot of trust in the relationship...

    Does that make any sense? :confused: LOL Sorry if I'm confusing people!
    Fair enough but if other acts happen, I don't really see the point as despite being a technical virgin, you're hardly "pure" and not sexually active but I guess I can't understand this kind of mentality anyway. To me, it's not so much the actual technical part of it but the whole intimacy that counts. If you're sexually intimate with someone, it's not because you haven't done a certain act that it's less special...
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    (Original post by Eddie K)
    i think you're scared of wasting you're virginity. i should think that's a normal thing.
    That's correct I guess, I'm not saying I wouldn't want to have sex with someone, because we all have those kinds of urges, it's just that I would feel so... "wrong" on my wedding night knowing I couldn't wait for the right guy.
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    (Original post by SamTheMan)
    Fair enough but if other acts happen, I don't really see the point as despite being a technical virgin, you're hardly "pure" and not sexually active but I guess I can't understand this kind of mentality anyway. To me, it's not so much the actual technical part of it but the whole intimacy that counts. If you're sexually intimate with someone, it's not because you haven't done a certain act that it's less special...
    True, true. As I haven't been in a serious relationship, I don't want to be like "No sexual acts!", even though thats how feel now, but I also don't want to lie and say that other acts are totally out of the option, because I don't know what I would feel like if I was that serious with someone... basically now my thought is that I don't want to do other acts, but I've never had that strong of an urge to do them yet, so I really don't know what I'd do someday if I wanted to do them (that sure is a lot of do's LOL)... although I'd love to say I would never consider doing them, I haven't been put in a situation yet so I don't know for sure.
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    (Original post by Amanda)
    True, true. As I haven't been in a serious relationship, I don't want to be like "No sexual acts!", even though thats how feel now, but I also don't want to lie and say that other acts are totally out of the option, because I don't know what I would feel like if I was that serious with someone... basically now my thought is that I don't want to do other acts, but I've never had that strong of an urge to do them yet, so I really on't know what I would do someday wanted to do them... although I'd love to say I would never consider doing them, I haven't been put in a situation yet so I don't know for sure.
    Well I think most people who decide to remain a virgin till marriage still do other sexual acts, some even tend to be rather promiscuous when it comes to them... This doesn't really make sense to me as technical virginity is only technical virginity. It doesn't define the person. I'd be much more bothered if a girl had done other sexual acts with a lot of guys than if she'd slept with one or two guys.
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    Yeah I would, but it would depend on how things went, and if we clicked etc. I mean, if I fell in love with you, i'd have no problem waiting, as long as I thought you were worth it.

    Out of interest, why do you want to wait till marriage?
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    "I'm not saying I wouldn't want to have sex with someone, because we all have those kinds of urges, it's just that I would feel so... "wrong" on my wedding night knowing I couldn't wait for the right guy."

    What if, you knew you'd found the right guy, and marriage was on the cards, and basically you both knew you'd spend the rest of your life together. Would it still feel wrong on your wedding night? That you didn't wait to have sex with this guy?

    It is an act of making lurve remember, to show someone how much they mean to them.. Well, usually.
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    (Original post by SamTheMan)
    Well I think most people who decide to remain a virgin till marriage still do other sexual acts, some even tend to be rather promiscuous when it comes to them... This doesn't really make sense to me as technical virginity is only technical virginity. It doesn't define the person. I'd be much more bothered if a girl had done other sexual acts with a lot of guys than if she'd slept with one or two guys.
    Honestly, I can't see myself doing "other sexual acts" with any boyfriend, but I basically just don't want to lie and be like "Oh, I would never dare do *whatever*" when I haven't had an urge to do *whatever* yet..

    If I were to do any other acts, I would really have to have a incredibly strong bond with that person and it deff. wouldn't be something I would do with every boyfriend.. and I have yet to have such a strong bond with any of my bf's. But thinking about it, say I was in this "strong relationship" and did *some act* and then we broke up, I would feel terribly bad for doing it...
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    (Original post by Phil23)
    i would because i'm different...i personally feel that similarity of personality is bigger factor in a relationship than sex, and i can wait a few more years yet to find the perfect girl:cool: - sex is not everything guys:eek: - for shame:mad: - i'd prefer a nice intellectual conversation on a topic of my interest with someone of similar hobbies etc, over sex anyday:cool:
    "for shame :mad: "?????

    Just because some people want sex in a relationship it doesn't mean they should be ashamed of anything! Fine if you prefer a nice intellectual conversation, but at least I don't insult your way of life :rolleyes:

    I have lots of friends who don't want to have sex until after marriage which doesn't bother me at all (why would it?), but personally I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them. I like sex a lot and unless the girl I was with I absolutely loved so so much (like, proper love, not crappy "Oh I've been going out with you for a whole month now, I love you" love) then I'd want to be with someone who would want sex too.

    Anyway, that's just me, I know guys who also want to wait until after marriage, OR even if they don't they WOULD wait until after marriage because they're virgins and probably wouldn't mind waiting
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    I'm not a guy, but i'd like to through in my say on it....

    As a christian, i don't uphold the no sex before marriage thing, for a few reasons, i think it encourages people to marry to soon, and for the wrong reasons, i believe that being intimate with someone does effect the relationship, your thoughts and feelings do change for each other, and its perhaps best experienced before making huge commitments.

    Having said that, i would only ever be intimate with soemone i loved whole heartedly and was in a long long term relationship with, who treats me with love and adoration and respect. All the things that you would want from marriage i guess.
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    (Original post by Scooot)
    What if, you knew you'd found the right guy, and marriage was on the cards, and basically you both knew you'd spend the rest of your life together. Would it still feel wrong on your wedding night? That you didn't wait to have sex with this guy?
    If I knew he was the "right guy" I would still wait until we were married, crazy as it may seem.. (guess it better be a short engagment then huh?? LOL jk!)
 
 
 
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