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Bf lying about not being a virgin, and all his past gf’s watch

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    Hayley is always posting threads about her boyfriend problems though.....

    He seems to have a lot of issues.
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    (Original post by susiemakemeblue)
    Hayley is always posting threads about her boyfriend problems though.....

    He seems to have a lot of issues.
    I'm not a big fan of the Health & Relationship forum so wouldn't know. Though tonight it's been fun...can I say that? Sorry...but it has been

    Maybe he's just confused. Ask him if he's gay
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    I thought my ex boyfriend was gay for a while. But then we hooked up again last week. Oops!
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    (Original post by susiemakemeblue)
    I thought my ex boyfriend was gay for a while. But then we hooked up again last week. Oops!
    I thought I was gay for a while, then realised I wasn't attracted to men

    But actually, it's just because sometimes I act very gay, me and my mate Matt always dance together kinda weirdly lol and act gay. People always comment on how I would make such a good gay guy that it worries me that I may be gay lol. Then I slap myself and realise that I love girls too much and don't love guys at all :rolleyes:
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    Hmmm no idea, Hayley, but if I were you I'd definitely confront it. I'd have too many questions and I'd ask him til I get an answer. But I would do it calmly, not too accusingly cus I'd wanna hear his side, then explain my side. I think I do that best in writing! - but probably better if you did it face to face, of course. I trust quite easily though so I'd be suspicious and not so trusting for the first few weeks but then I'd probably be ok about it after a while. Hope it works out for you Try forgiving him - look at it this way - at least he told you - you didn't find out by chance he actually came and told you. So it shows he didn't mean to hurt you.

    Heh mind you if I was repeatedly hurt by the same person I'd eventually leave - but give your bf a chance I gave my friend a chance after hurting me really badly based on trivial things but in a longterm basis - mind you, after 3 years, I think I've given my friend enough chances and time. He doesn't know it but I doubt I'll ever trust him again.
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    The poor sod was just nervous that you would feel weird if he was a virgin. Stop moaning, you've probably got a lovely boyfriend out of it.
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    I'd hate being lied to like that.....as if he thought I was going to judge him.
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    (Original post by LibertineNorth)
    The poor sod was just nervous that you would feel weird if he was a virgin. Stop moaning, you've probably got a lovely boyfriend out of it.
    Exactly! He probably didn't think you'd go for him if he was a virgin, u might think he was fridged or something... so stop moaning, he did it because he clearly likes you a lot and was concerned about what you would think of him if you knew the truth!
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    at least he lied just to get you...
    • Thread Starter
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    thanks for all your replys. I will talk to him about it tonight
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    (Original post by dobbs)
    I thought I was gay for a while, then realised I wasn't attracted to men
    That's my line! :eek:

    *hmpfs*
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    Hmmm...I'd rather have my boyfriend confess that actually he was a virgin. One of my exes always told me he was a virgin and wanted our first time to be sepcial etc. I found out that he was lying and I dropped him like a hot potato. I'm glad I didn't give in to his constant demand for me to have sex with him! x x x
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    (Original post by Drogue)
    That's my line! :eek:

    *hmpfs*
    :p: Never said it before, but when I did I thought it sounded quite good so I'm keeping it
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    I don't understand why he thought he'd need to compete. I mean my boyfriend had gone loads further in his previous relationships than i had in mine. He had done almost everything except for sex and i hadn't really gone past kissing and i told him that. It shouldn't make a difference in a relationship what either of the people have or haven't done.
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    (Original post by Sam2005)
    Exactly! He probably didn't think you'd go for him if he was a virgin, u might think he was fridged or something... so stop moaning, he did it because he clearly likes you a lot and was concerned about what you would think of him if you knew the truth!
    Funny that all the people saying stuff like this are men!
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    wellp, thats how us men thinks
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    (Original post by nasht)
    wellp, thats how us men thinks
    I just think you're siding with the guy. Do you really think girls are that bothered by a mans sexual history, we'd rather he was honest?
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    People might think that his past in this situation has much to do with you though.
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    (Original post by Ant93)
    I just think you're siding with the guy. Do you really think girls are that bothered by a mans sexual history, we'd rather he was honest?
    Yes, because men are, to a larger extent. Everyone tends to believe that the things that they're bothered by are the same things others are.

    Have you ever thought it might be because he's embarassed about it, and nothing to do with her? If a bloke was embarassed that they were a virgin, they'd probably not want to tell the person they cared about most about it. I've met girls that have lied about how many people they've slept with, because it was a large number and they felt embarassed about it.

    Surely you can understand when you're dating someone you care about deeply that you'd want them to think well of you, and so might not tell them things that you felt embaressed by? Even lie about things you felt embaressed about.

    Some people aren't happy being themself. They feel ashamed of things, or they feel the need to be better. This is made far more acute when caring about someone, about what they think of you. Lots of people, if they're not happy with themselves, make things up or conceal the truth, because they're embarassed about who they are.

    This isn't about whether she'd "rather he was honest", this is about someone who felt so ashamed of themselves they felt they had to lie to someone they cared about to conceal what they were ashamed of. He even had the guts in the end to come out with it. I'm not "siding with him" because he's a guy, I'm siding with him because I can understand being ashamed of something and think he did really well for managing to admit it in the end.

    He know's he shouldn't have lied, he doesn't need someone having a go at him. I'd have thought someone who truly cared about him would be compassionate and find out why he lied, why he felt ashamed of being a virgin, and helped him to feel better about himself.
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    he was obviously just embarrassed and didnt want 2 admit it so he went along making up a history with girlfriends. i'd b annoyed with him but wouldnt take it 2 heart, the fact that he's admitted it shows that he felt bad about it. make sure he makes it up 2 u tho!
 
 
 
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