Turn on thread page Beta
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Would appreciate any comments and criticism, and possible additions, thanks.

    ****

    I have one goal for my teaching – helping students to think and learn for themselves. This goal is as simple as it is illusive. The more experience I have as a teacher, the more I understand that there is no one-way of achieving my aim. Clearly, the proper focus of education is learning, not teaching, but I know that it is within a teacher’s power – and thus it is the teacher’s responsibility – to create the conditions necessary to allow students to learn. How best to create these conditions is the question… (needs more?)

    Education has always been an important value in my house, especially since my mother was a secondary school teacher for many years, and now teaches computer courses with LearnDirect. I always took learning seriously, and then in secondary school and at university I realised that I enjoyed helping others learn as well. Part of my decision to become a future teacher is owed to my brother and sister (I have more than one of each but one is too young and the others live away – do I need to change this?) who I help with their science homework.

    Although I have no formal classroom experience, I have assisted my mother and others with classes and computer support many times. It is this, in addition to my love of chemistry that has assisted in my decision to become a teacher. (Not happy with this personally, as I did do a lot with LearnDirect short of actually teaching, but don’t want to embellish it too much)

    (Needs to be a bit longer too don’t you think?)

    ****

    Marcus
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    yeah i think it does need to b longer alright,

    mayb u dont need to put how many siblings u have , and if they too young or not, just state that u have helped them.

    also mayb dont say u have no formal classroom experience, just mention the positives that u do , such as having assisited in classes etc

    i think mine was longer than that, u should copy and paste it into gttr application to see how much space u have left. my first ps was too short, so i added more so there was so space in box provided for it. u could also mention mayb a it about ur personality, and interests etc. but i think it is good what u have, just looks like it kinda short, but ul have to check that .

    also mention a bit about ur previous degree, what it was like and how it will help and benefit u on a pgce course and as a teacher. and mayb mention relevant school subjects too. i briefly mentioned both school and degree subjects and the relevance to teaching and how they benefited me

    which uni are u interested in
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by **R**)
    yeah i think it does need to b longer alright,

    mayb u dont need to put how many siblings u have , and if they too young or not, just state that u have helped them.

    also mayb dont say u have no formal classroom experience, just mention the positives that u do , such as having assisited in classes etc

    i think mine was longer than that, u should copy and paste it into gttr application to see how much space u have left. my first ps was too short, so i added more so there was so space in box provided for it. u could also mention mayb a it about ur personality, and interests etc. but i think it is good what u have, just looks like it kinda short, but ul have to check that .

    also mention a bit about ur previous degree, what it was like and how it will help and benefit u on a pgce course and as a teacher. and mayb mention relevant school subjects too. i briefly mentioned both school and degree subjects and the relevance to teaching and how they benefited me

    which uni are u interested in
    Thanks for those comments, good to see I haven't made a total balls up of it. Think I need to explain why it's been 4 years since I finished uni. First year I didn't, cos I was sick of studying and very relieved to have not got a 3rd class degree, second I didn't because my g/f put me off it in a big way (silly I know) third year I was working, but didn't last, fourth year I missed the deadline.

    Was thinking of Nottingham because it's near me and has a good rep, Southampton because my mum went there and recommended it and Birmingham because my brother's there and recommended it. Will get my PS sorted before I decide on the other - think you get four choices?

    Marcus
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    yeah if u doing secondary its 4 , i did primary so i only got 2 ! annoyed me not to get 4 ! i wouldnt worry about a few years off , like i graduated in May 2004, and it looks like i wont b going this year in sept ,so i will b applying for followng now . i dont think u need to mention this time gap in the personal statement, cos when i went fo rmy interview, most ppl there were much older than me, most were 30's and 40's , so age range did vary there so i dont think u need to explain why u didnt go straight into a postgrad after uni, they might ask u in interview , but i dont think u need it in PS
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I like it. However, the statement reads very philosophically. I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, but I bet that when it comes to an interview they'll ask you what you mean by, and how you would implement, a phrase like 'clearly, the proper focus of education is learning, not teaching'. Make sure if you do throw in statements like that, you have a clear idea in your mind of what you mean by it, with specific examples.

    Also, I would personally drop the line 'although I have no formal classroom experience'. In any personal statement, always focus on the positives and leave out the negatives. Try and get some classroom experience too. Just approach some schools and ask to observe some lessons. I'm sure they won't mind. Most PGCE providers state in their criteria that you must have 'classroom experience'.

    Good luck.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    As others have said, I'd definitely get rid of the part that says 'although I have no classroom experience' and also try to get some if you can, even if it's just sitting at the back watching. Apart from that, it's good, but it does seem a bit on the short side, so maybe you could include a section on your time at university and a bit more about why you want to teach.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    OK, have taken into account your POV's and done a quick ½ hour editing. This is what I have now...

    ****

    DRAFT II

    I have one goal for my teaching – helping students to think and learn for themselves. This goal is as simple as it is illusive. The more experience I have as a teacher, the more I understand that there is no one-way of achieving my aim. Clearly, the proper focus of education is learning, not teaching, but I know that it is within a teacher’s power – and thus it is the teacher’s responsibility – to create the conditions necessary to allow students to learn. How best to create these conditions is the question that I hope (that) this course will help me to answer (./!) (Needs more? One “that” or two in last sentence? Exclamation or fullstop?)

    Education has always been an important value in my house, especially since my mother was a secondary school teacher for many years, and now teaches computer courses with LearnDirect. I always took learning seriously, and then in secondary school and at university I realised that I enjoyed helping others learn as well. Part of my decision to become a future teacher is owed to my siblings who I help with their science homework. (Sufficient?)

    Since my mother is a teacher, (I have gained/it has been easy to gain) valuable insights into (…something or other…) by assisting my mother and others with classes and computer support many times, an experience that I found both fulfilling and (…something…). It is this, in addition to my love of chemistry that has (I don’t think assisted is the right word) in my decision to become a teacher. (Not happy with this personally, as I did do a lot with LearnDirect short of actually teaching, but don’t want to embellish it too much)

    (Needs to be a bit longer too don’t you think?)

    ****

    Marcus
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by marcusfox)
    OK, have taken into account your POV's and done a quick ½ hour editing. This is what I have now...

    ****

    DRAFT II

    I have one goal for my teaching – helping students to think and learn for themselves. This goal is as simple as it is illusive. The more experience I have as a teacher, the more I understand that there is no one-way of achieving my aim. Clearly, the proper focus of education is learning, not teaching, but I know that it is within a teacher’s power – and thus it is the teacher’s responsibility – to create the conditions necessary to allow students to learn. How best to create these conditions is the question that I hope (that) this course will help me to answer (./!) (Needs more? One “that” or two in last sentence? Exclamation or fullstop?)

    Education has always been an important value in my house, especially since my mother was a secondary school teacher for many years, and now teaches computer courses with LearnDirect. I always took learning seriously, and then in secondary school and at university I realised that I enjoyed helping others learn as well. Part of my decision to become a future teacher is owed to my siblings who I help with their science homework. (Sufficient?)

    Since my mother is a teacher, (I have gained/it has been easy to gain) valuable insights into (…something or other…) by assisting my mother and others with classes and computer support many times, an experience that I found both fulfilling and (…something…). It is this, in addition to my love of chemistry that has (I don’t think assisted is the right word) in my decision to become a teacher. (Not happy with this personally, as I did do a lot with LearnDirect short of actually teaching, but don’t want to embellish it too much)

    (Needs to be a bit longer too don’t you think?)

    ****

    Marcus

    Okay, looking better. Few points I'd change: -

    Paragraph 1: - Elaborate on your key statements here, with specific reference to experience(s), or pedagogic structures you have in mind.

    Paragraph 2: - Sound stuff. A few grammatical errors, but I'll let you sort those out yourself.

    Paragraph 3: - 'I have gained'.

    What have you gained insights into? Behaviour management, lesson planning, assessment structure, achieving QTS? Only you know what to put here.

    If you can't think of anything else to couple with fulfilling, then just take out 'both'.

    I'm not keen on the next sentence. It sounds awkward (sorry, I'm an English student). Try this for size: ‘Furthermore, my love of chemistry has only aided my decision to become a teacher as I know I would be dealing with a subject that I enjoy and feel is essential to the National Curriculum.

    Why not elaborate on your Learn Direct experiences? Make it sound relevant to your cause.

    Hope this helps.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Oh, I have a few personal statements I've collected from the TES website if you'd like to see them? One is for Business Studies and one is for English; they were both worthy of an interview too.

    If you do, PM or email me.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by marcusfox)
    My main objective in my career as a teacher would be to help students to think and learn for themselves. This goal is as simple as it is illusive. The more experience I have as a teacher, the more I understand that there is no one-way of achieving my aim. Clearly, the real focus of education is learning, not teaching, but I know that it is within a teacher’s power – and thus it is the teacher’s responsibility – to create the conditions necessary to allow students to learn. How best to create these conditions is the question that I hope (that) this course will help me to answer (./!) (Needs more? One “that” or two in last sentence? Exclamation or fullstop?)
    One 'that'; doesn't sound right otherwise. Also, an exclamation mark might look a bit too childish, so stick with the full stop.

    (Original post by marcusfox)
    I have always placed great value on education, especially since my mother was a secondary school teacher for many years, and now teaches computer courses with LearnDirect. I always took learning seriously, and then in secondary school and at university I realised that I enjoyed helping others learn as well. Part of my decision to become a future teacher is owed to my siblings who I help with their science homework. (Sufficient?)
    Maybe just a little bit more detail about why you want to teach? You could say that helping your siblings with their science homework made you consider teaching in the first place, but I don't think that's enough. You could mention more about your experiences with Learn Direct here.

    (Original post by marcusfox)
    Since my mother is a teacher, I have gained valuable insights into (…something or other…) by assisting my mother and others with classes and computer support many times, an experience that I found both fulfilling and (…something…). It is this, in addition to my love of chemistry that has (I don’t think assisted is the right word) in my decision to become a teacher. (Not happy with this personally, as I did do a lot with LearnDirect short of actually teaching, but don’t want to embellish it too much)
    Talk about what specifically your experiences have given you an insight into. 'Fulfilling' would do if you can't think of anything else. Also, say something about how your love of chemistry has confirmed your desire to teach.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Endymion)
    Okay, looking better. Few points I'd change: -

    Paragraph 1: - Elaborate on your key statements here, with specific reference to experience(s), or pedagogic structures you have in mind.

    Paragraph 2: - Sound stuff. A few grammatical errors, but I'll let you sort those out yourself.

    Paragraph 3: - 'I have gained'.

    What have you gained insights into? Behaviour management, lesson planning, assessment structure, achieving QTS? Only you know what to put here.

    If you can't think of anything else to couple with fulfilling, then just take out 'both'.

    I'm not keen on the next sentence. It sounds awkward (sorry, I'm an English student). Try this for size: ‘Furthermore, my love of chemistry has only aided my decision to become a teacher as I know I would be dealing with a subject that I enjoy and feel is essential to the National Curriculum.

    Why not elaborate on your Learn Direct experiences? Make it sound relevant to your cause.

    Hope this helps.
    Pedagogic structures? You mean planning lessons?

    Whom rather than who? Didn't spot anything else really.

    Not really gained insights into behaviour management, (which is what worries me most about teaching) as the people in learndirect classes were all 40 at least, and behaved themselves. Lesson planning was already set out, as they had assignments to work towards.

    Maybe add a point about the shortage of chemistry teachers too?

    Hard to elaborate on the LearnDirect experiences as there weren't that many of them. I was mainly there as a student...

    Marcus
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by marcusfox)
    Pedagogic structures? You mean planning lessons?

    Whom rather than who? Didn't spot anything else really.

    Not really gained insights into behaviour management, (which is what worries me most about teaching) as the people in learndirect classes were all 40 at least, and behaved themselves. Lesson planning was already set out, as they had assignments to work towards.

    Maybe add a point about the shortage of chemistry teachers too?

    Hard to elaborate on the LearnDirect experiences as there weren't that many of them. I was mainly there as a student...

    Marcus
    By pedagogic structures, I mean the structure you have for teaching. What would make you a good teacher? How would you do that? This includes behaviour management, assessments etc.....

    With regard to that second paragraph, a few of your sentences sound awkward. Without trying to sound pedantic here, you've got commas where you don't need them and some of the sentences are far too long. Take out some of the 'ands' and split your sentence. Try to make your sentences sound more smooth. Ignore me if you want, but they are just niggles that I've spotted.

    EDIT: I really think you need to get some classroom experience before you apply, as most PGCE providers state this as a prerequisite to applying. Last thing you want to do is waste £13 or whatever the GTTR charges and then get rejected on a technicality.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    OK, I thought I'd add to the post again, have done a lot more of my personal statement, but what's worrying is the fact that it's coming up to the deadline (Tuesday) but my referee (university supervisor) hasn't replied - probably on holiday. I did tell him I was applying this year, that was some time ago, but didn't contact him immediately before I applied. What happens if he doesn't reply before the deadline? Can I apply direct to an institution after the deadline but before the course starts, with a different referee?

    Marcus
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by marcusfox)
    OK, I thought I'd add to the post again, have done a lot more of my personal statement, but what's worrying is the fact that it's coming up to the deadline (Tuesday) but my referee (university supervisor) hasn't replied - probably on holiday. I did tell him I was applying this year, that was some time ago, but didn't contact him immediately before I applied. What happens if he doesn't reply before the deadline? Can I apply direct to an institution after the deadline but before the course starts, with a different referee?

    Marcus
    IIRC, you can't contact the institutions directly. The GTTR acts as your proxy. I'd ring up the GTTR and ask their advice. They make ask you for another referee, who is available.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    yeah i had this problem last year, as i applied in june so i found it hard to get someone to referee for me as most college lecturerers away during summer. try get in touch with anyone who can give u a reference, tell them its urgent and deadline coming uup so needs to b done pronto so that way u have a chance of getting it in bfore deadline date
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Endymion)
    IIRC, you can't contact the institutions directly. The GTTR acts as your proxy. I'd ring up the GTTR and ask their advice. They make ask you for another referee, who is available.
    That's going to be a problem. I don't know any referees that will be available before September, unless you count my course tutor at LearnDirect.

    Marcus
 
 
 
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.