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Best Friend = Annoying? watch

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    right my best friend has been annoying the hell out of me for a while now, but it seems to be getting worse rather than better.
    we became friend a couple of years ago at school and i used to look up to her. think she was the most amazing person in the world. i thought she had one of the strongest personalities in the world and was so down to earth. we went to uni to gether and ever since then i have been getting to know the 'real' her and ive completely changed my mind about her.
    shes got the weakest personality ive come accross and to be honest she lies and exaggerates (sp?) so much and thats what makes her 'look good' should i say.
    ive also realised shes all talk, talks about things oh i can kick your ass, and yet shes the weakest person in the world.

    the other day i was telling her this old classmate of ours was txting me and saying to come out for a drink and stuff like that.... and i was like it was wierd cos he text me at half 2 in the morning and he knows im not allowed after 12... shes like yeah hes just messing with you he thinks he can get u into bed, he knows better not to mess with me..... whats that supposed to mean that im a slut and guys come to me when they are looking for some? (which she knows is completely untrue) what about maybe he actually likes me and not her?
    i dont kno what to do with her, we've got the same friends and its as if shes always on my case trying to make me look bad, and herself look good.
    ive even tried talking to her about it and she just denies it all, and i know for a fact that shes doing it on purpose, cos she plans how to annoy other people sometimes, which i thought was funny at first but now its immature.
    when i see her all i can see is a spoilt brat whose jealous of everyone around her.

    i dont know what to do can anyone give me any suggestions?
    the situation is getting so much worse due to some friends of ours coming over to cyprus for holiday. she tells my friends behind my back that my parents are scary and they dont wana stay at my house!

    sorry this is so long but i cant speak to any of my friends about it cos like i said before we have the same friends. she is really getting to me.
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    I've had a case kind of like this - a best friend who wasn't who I thought she was, or she changed. I know all friendships go through their ups and downs, but whilst she irritates you this much it's just gonna destroy your friendship. I suggest distancing yourself from her for a while - not so much that you completely blank her, just spend more time with other friends without her, etc.
    You won't be as close as before - but if you dislike her this much, surely it's not such a big loss? I know it's sad that you're losing a best friend, but it sounds like you're better off without her, especially if she won't listen to you about this. Just spend less time with her, and maybe in time you'll be able to spend time with her without hating her
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    How long have you been "best" freinds?
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    (Original post by _Jax_)
    How long have you been "best" freinds?
    friends for 4 but best friends for 3.... think we've only been that close cos we were forced to be.... is that possible?
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    When you go back to university try to branch out, form new friendships, but don't forget about her. When she realises that you can get on quite well without her, she'll either try to make an effort with you and try to mend your friendship, or she'll just move on. If she does the latter then you're probably better off without her.
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    Of cource its possible, everyone makes freinds even with people they normaly wouldnt, for example big brother, and like when you go on holiday you make the most of what you've got. But I think the problem is there then, if you were close because you had to be now you dont have to be so much you arn't if that makes sence.
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    (Original post by JoeCool_Lemming)
    I've had a case kind of like this - a best friend who wasn't who I thought she was, or she changed. I know all friendships go through their ups and downs, but whilst she irritates you this much it's just gonna destroy your friendship. I suggest distancing yourself from her for a while - not so much that you completely blank her, just spend more time with other friends without her, etc.
    You won't be as close as before - but if you dislike her this much, surely it's not such a big loss? I know it's sad that you're losing a best friend, but it sounds like you're better off without her, especially if she won't listen to you about this. Just spend less time with her, and maybe in time you'll be able to spend time with her without hating her
    its extremely difficult cos we do everything together and at the moment we have a friend over from the uk whose here for a week whose saying half the time and mine and half the time at hers. then when she leaves a couple of days later another friend comes for a week as well whose staying at mine as wel as hers.

    thing is these friends coming over is creating more problems cos she wants to take them out and do everything her way.
    the only time which will be good will prob be in august when im going away for 2 weeks and im having one of my friends coming over and will be spending lots of time with him rather than her.
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    (Original post by spangletastic)
    When you go back to university try to branch out, form new friendships, but don't forget about her. When she realises that you can get on quite well without her, she'll either try to make an effort with you and try to mend your friendship, or she'll just move on. If she does the latter then you're probably better off without her.
    i dont rely on her at all at uni, i have my sis at the same uni as wel and my sisters friends and stuff so she knows i get on wel without her and i dont need her.
    when we are at uni it might get worse as we are living in the same house!

    (Original post by _Jax_)
    Of cource its possible, everyone makes freinds even with people they normaly wouldnt, for example big brother, and like when you go on holiday you make the most of what you've got. But I think the problem is there then, if you were close because you had to be now you dont have to be so much you arn't if that makes sence.
    yeah fair enough, but she still relies on me for everything. if she has a hair crisis or needs help picking out things to wear of if she needs to borrow my things she always comes to me.
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    I know what kind of thing you are in there are two girls in my year that are just like this, except the one in your position is far more submissive.

    So I suppose your two options are to either hunker down and bear it till something happens to create a split, or find a way of weening her off you somehow. Otherwise best of luck to you, I would have no idea how to do this if it was my best mate but im hoping it never will (nine years and counting).
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    my sister had a best friend kind of like that.. we'd all get excited when she'd come over cos she seemed really strong minded and used to give us all a fun time.. but after a large amount of time with her she'd end up upsetting everyone and being selfish etc. my sister stopped being friends with her about 4 yrs ago and has never looked back!
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    well that well and truly sux. I thought i was having a bad day
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    Being forced together is one of the worst ways of becoming best friends, it happened to me and my friend really gets on my nerves, she's never been fake, but i've noticed it more now we don't see each other everyday and are not at the same school. I think before i just subconsciously learned to put up with it and switch off when she was in an irritating mood. But you really shouldn't let yourself be forced into a friendship, because the friendship will be weak to start with and will weaken if you let it. If your friend is getting to you that much, then i really don't think it is a very stable friendship, as said before when your back at uni make more friends in other circles. Don't give up on your friend unless she really, really gets on your last nerve, but have some other friends that you can go to if you really need to move away from her.
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    (Original post by _Jax_)
    I know what kind of thing you are in there are two girls in my year that are just like this, except the one in your position is far more submissive.

    So I suppose your two options are to either hunker down and bear it till something happens to create a split, or find a way of weening her off you somehow. Otherwise best of luck to you, I would have no idea how to do this if it was my best mate but im hoping it never will (nine years and counting).
    9 years is a long time, ive got a friend ive had since i was 4 .. 18 years now and we are still amazingly close.
    i saw her tonite and she gave me **** but my friend frm the uk supported me, it felt good


    (Original post by Lirael Abhorsen)
    my sister had a best friend kind of like that.. we'd all get excited when she'd come over cos she seemed really strong minded and used to give us all a fun time.. but after a large amount of time with her she'd end up upsetting everyone and being selfish etc. my sister stopped being friends with her about 4 yrs ago and has never looked back!
    in 2 years time i know we wont be as close cos its as if everything between us is competition, a year ago i used to let her win everything, but not i always put up a fight cos i dont see why she shud get her way all the time. ever since iv started standin up for myself shes actually started respecting me more. which is good but still....
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    (Original post by alkaeda)
    well that well and truly sux. I thought i was having a bad day
    i hope your day has turned out better

    (Original post by Ant93)
    Being forced together is one of the worst ways of becoming best friends, it happened to me and my friend really gets on my nerves, she's never been fake, but i've noticed it more now we don't see each other everyday and are not at the same school. I think before i just subconsciously learned to put up with it and switch off when she was in an irritating mood. But you really shouldn't let yourself be forced into a friendship, because the friendship will be weak to start with and will weaken if you let it. If your friend is getting to you that much, then i really don't think it is a very stable friendship, as said before when your back at uni make more friends in other circles. Don't give up on your friend unless she really, really gets on your last nerve, but have some other friends that you can go to if you really need to move away from her.
    thats the thingi dont wana give up on her so im keeping it low, she made fun of my bro tonite and my other friend stood up for him and i was like yeah u see how mean she is (in a jokin voice of course)
    thats what im doing from now on, i put on a joke voice if iv got somethin to say or i pretend i cant hear her which is easy cos we are usually in a bar or club
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    She sounds very insecure. Maybe you could arrange to do more things as part of a big group of people, and then go and talk to someone else. That way she can chat to other people more and hopefully she won't depend on you too much. It seems like you spend too much time together and both need to be more independent of each other, but she sounds as scared as hell. Be there for her, but help her to stand on her own two feet. Maybe you should find a way of talking to her about how you feel. Don't be aggressive. Say you're worried. It could be she'll tell you what's on her mind, and what she's afraid of. Try not to judge her, but help her instead.
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    (Original post by susiemakemeblue)
    She sounds very insecure. Maybe you could arrange to do more things as part of a big group of people, and then go and talk to someone else. That way she can chat to other people more and hopefully she won't depend on you too much. It seems like you spend too much time together and both need to be more independent of each other, but she sounds as scared as hell. Be there for her, but help her to stand on her own two feet. Maybe you should find a way of talking to her about how you feel. Don't be aggressive. Say you're worried. It could be she'll tell you what's on her mind, and what she's afraid of. Try not to judge her, but help her instead.
    ive tried that, two or 3 times but she wont budge... she turns it into an argument.
    i am always there for her when she falls out with other friends and it used to be her givin me advice but lately im the one givin her the advice, bearing in mind shes one and a half years older than me!
    lately shes had old friends comin over and been going out and not teling me which is rude.... i understand she wants to spend time with them as wel but she knows i wud invite her out and she knows shes in the wrong when she doesnt..... and thing is her friend is leavin tomoro and she'l be crawlin back to me after than, happens every summer.
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    When she says rubbish like that, just laugh at her and take it as a total joke. If she gets funny, just be like "you ARE joking aren't you? I mean, the guy obviously likes me". She'll soon get bored of being nasty when it's impossible to get to you.

    Alternatively be a little dismissive. When she says something nasty, don't acknowledge it at all. Ignore it and totally change the topic of conversation. My fave is something like "can you just excuse me a moment, I need to make a phonecall/speak to someone/send a text". Once she realises she can't hurt you, she'll give up.
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    (Original post by Lauren)
    When she says rubbish like that, just laugh at her and take it as a total joke. If she gets funny, just be like "you ARE joking aren't you? I mean, the guy obviously likes me". She'll soon get bored of being nasty when it's impossible to get to you.

    Alternatively be a little dismissive. When she says something nasty, don't acknowledge it at all. Ignore it and totally change the topic of conversation. My fave is something like "can you just excuse me a moment, I need to make a phonecall/speak to someone/send a text". Once she realises she can't hurt you, she'll give up.
    i actually thought of saying... what cant the reason be he likes me and not you? i held myself back but i usually have a sarcastic good comeback which shuts her up and lets her look away without saying anything
    lately iv been finding her jokes ridiculously stupid and not laughing and funny to say tonite it wasnt jus me that was like huh? not funny.

    shes also nasty to my brother whos not even 15 yet. she has no right to treat him like **** at all.... but he just turns it all around and accuses her of hitting on him :rolleyes: :p:
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    I was friends with two girls for 11 years but two years ago I thought our friendship was worth nothing because I couldn't trust them and I pretty much didn't feel like I could be myself around them.
    I stopped being friends with the other girl (because there was an argument) but still kinda continued being friends with the other one but we didn't see each other as much as we used to.

    So then it was summer and during the summer we didn't see each other at all. When I got back to school after the summer, I didn't really wanted to talk to her and she didn't seem to have anything to say to me either. I still remember that when I came to school, she already was there hanging out with her new "better" friends and we saw each other and we didn't even say hi to each other. It was a bit weird but I didn't really feel sad or anything, I was actually kinda relieved.

    I spent my last high school year alone but it wasn't that bad. I did get a bit bored during the days because there was no one to talk to but I still got along well. I know that my ex-friends felt like superior because they had friends and I didn't have but I couldn't care less. I think the only reason they wanted to be friends with these other girls was that they wanted to be somewhat popular but I wasn't interested in that at all.

    The only annoying thing during my last year in high school was that during the recesses (when we usually stayed in the classroom) these girls went on and on how they drank during the weekend and how drunk they were. It was like never ending soap opera! Even if I don't drink, I don't mind if other people drink every now and then. But what pissed me off is that those girls thought it made them look cool because they drank beer etc. actually it made them look stupid because they advertised it so much. So every Monday there was a new story and god I hated Mondays (I felt like Garfield).

    Anyways, (sorry I went a bit off the topic there) I think that if you're not happy around your friend and she makes you feel sad/angry and she's talking behind your back, then she's not worth being your friend.
    It seems to me that she is insecure and maybe a bit jealous to you. Maybe she sees that you have a better self-esteem than she has and that's why she tries to make you look bad.

    Like someone already said friends come and go. Just remember that it's useless to stay friends with people who don't appreciate the friendship. Life is just too short for that.
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    (Original post by kriztinae)
    right my best friend has been annoying the hell out of me for a while now, but it seems to be getting worse rather than better.
    we became friend a couple of years ago at school and i used to look up to her. think she was the most amazing person in the world. i thought she had one of the strongest personalities in the world and was so down to earth. we went to uni to gether and ever since then i have been getting to know the 'real' her and ive completely changed my mind about her.
    shes got the weakest personality ive come accross and to be honest she lies and exaggerates (sp?) so much and thats what makes her 'look good' should i say.
    ive also realised shes all talk, talks about things oh i can kick your ass, and yet shes the weakest person in the world.

    the other day i was telling her this old classmate of ours was txting me and saying to come out for a drink and stuff like that.... and i was like it was wierd cos he text me at half 2 in the morning and he knows im not allowed after 12... shes like yeah hes just messing with you he thinks he can get u into bed, he knows better not to mess with me..... whats that supposed to mean that im a slut and guys come to me when they are looking for some? (which she knows is completely untrue) what about maybe he actually likes me and not her?
    i dont kno what to do with her, we've got the same friends and its as if shes always on my case trying to make me look bad, and herself look good.
    ive even tried talking to her about it and she just denies it all, and i know for a fact that shes doing it on purpose, cos she plans how to annoy other people sometimes, which i thought was funny at first but now its immature.
    when i see her all i can see is a spoilt brat whose jealous of everyone around her.

    i dont know what to do can anyone give me any suggestions?
    the situation is getting so much worse due to some friends of ours coming over to cyprus for holiday. she tells my friends behind my back that my parents are scary and they dont wana stay at my house!

    sorry this is so long but i cant speak to any of my friends about it cos like i said before we have the same friends. she is really getting to me.
    Kriz, i often think we are the same person on two different equators!

    Im having the same sort problem with my bestie, she is annoying the hell out of me. Mostly its becuase she keeps bragging about these friends she has at uni, to all of our group like trying to impress us and 'show' us shes changing, however, she fails to regret that she took me to uni the first days she started and who made all her friends for her? Me, thats right, and I dont even go to her uni. She is one of those people who doesnt stand up for themselves and that annoys me a great deal, just when people do stuff to her she will never say anything. I sometimes want to yell at her "Just grow a frikin spine!!!!!!"

    wow... i havent said that to anyone, now its off my chest and on the sounding board, it feel so much better than keeping ti to myself. :eek:
 
 
 
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