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Best Friend = Annoying? watch

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    (Original post by violetflamingo)
    I was friends with two girls for 11 years but two years ago I thought our friendship was worth nothing because I couldn't trust them and I pretty much didn't feel like I could be myself around them.
    I stopped being friends with the other girl (because there was an argument) but still kinda continued being friends with the other one but we didn't see each other as much as we used to.

    So then it was summer and during the summer we didn't see each other at all. When I got back to school after the summer, I didn't really wanted to talk to her and she didn't seem to have anything to say to me either. I still remember that when I came to school, she already was there hanging out with her new "better" friends and we saw each other and we didn't even say hi to each other. It was a bit weird but I didn't really feel sad or anything, I was actually kinda relieved.

    I spent my last high school year alone but it wasn't that bad. I did get a bit bored during the days because there was no one to talk to but I still got along well. I know that my ex-friends felt like superior because they had friends and I didn't have but I couldn't care less. I think the only reason they wanted to be friends with these other girls was that they wanted to be somewhat popular but I wasn't interested in that at all.

    The only annoying thing during my last year in high school was that during the recesses (when we usually stayed in the classroom) these girls went on and on how they drank during the weekend and how drunk they were. It was like never ending soap opera! Even if I don't drink, I don't mind if other people drink every now and then. But what pissed me off is that those girls thought it made them look cool because they drank beer etc. actually it made them look stupid because they advertised it so much. So every Monday there was a new story and god I hated Mondays (I felt like Garfield).

    Anyways, (sorry I went a bit off the topic there) I think that if you're not happy around your friend and she makes you feel sad/angry and she's talking behind your back, then she's not worth being your friend.
    It seems to me that she is insecure and maybe a bit jealous to you. Maybe she sees that you have a better self-esteem than she has and that's why she tries to make you look bad.

    Like someone already said friends come and go. Just remember that it's useless to stay friends with people who don't appreciate the friendship. Life is just too short for that.
    i envy you cos i could never be alone. i think its cos ive always had a sister who is a year older than me so im scared of being alone. i mean even if all my friends turn on me it would irritate me but i can always rely on my sister which is good.

    see i got in a huge argument with her when we were up at uni and wasnt spekain to her for a whole week, she came up to me after a week and we "sorted" stuff out, then she started telling ppl how stubborn i was and there it was back to normal again :rolleyes:

    thing is we have the same friends so its soo hard avoid her. ill try doing my own thing next year at uni and in august and see if we drift apart.
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    (Original post by Everdawn)
    Kriz, i often think we are the same person on two different equators!

    Im having the same sort problem with my bestie, she is annoying the hell out of me. Mostly its becuase she keeps bragging about these friends she has at uni, to all of our group like trying to impress us and 'show' us shes changing, however, she fails to regret that she took me to uni the first days she started and who made all her friends for her? Me, thats right, and I dont even go to her uni. She is one of those people who doesnt stand up for themselves and that annoys me a great deal, just when people do stuff to her she will never say anything. I sometimes want to yell at her "Just grow a frikin spine!!!!!!"

    wow... i havent said that to anyone, now its off my chest and on the sounding board, it feel so much better than keeping ti to myself. :eek:
    one thing i dont understand is why the hell do your friends, especially your best friends feel like they have to prove themselves to u?
    i mean u know them inside out and can see right through any lies and stuff.
    thats what is so annoying!!!
    heh this thread can be for both you and me! damn annoying best friends!!! :mad:
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    oh god! you put my frustration into words! You love them unconditionally they should not keep trying to make themselves to be somethign they arent, it angers me that she feels she needs to do that. If she is uncontent with somethign in her life, i want her to be able to tell someone, not bury it! Sooo annoying!
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    (Original post by Everdawn)
    oh god! you put my frustration into words! You love them unconditionally they should not keep trying to make themselves to be somethign they arent, it angers me that she feels she needs to do that. If she is uncontent with somethign in her life, i want her to be able to tell someone, not bury it! Sooo annoying!
    have you confronted her and talked to her about it??
    ive tried but she denies it all.
    i think she sees me as competition in her life, which is really silly cos we're supposed to be friends.
    we do the same course so shes always trying to get better than me, and studies so hard to prove herself when to be honest we are both the same.
    and when it comes to guys the situation gets 10 times worse. :mad:
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    oh god, thats terrible!!!

    But My bestie goes to a little indipendent uni thats like a street away from her house and she works at Subway which is basically the next street over. She has strict parents who never let her have a life even though she is 18. She is trapped basically. She doesnt get any male interaction and acts so immaturely around guys. Shes so bad to go out with, her idea of dating/hooking up is like somethign out of a 1940's movie where there is a chaperone involved. Seriously she needs to snap out of it and grow a spine.
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    Erm, you're 18 and you're not allowed out after 12? I think you should get your folks to slacken up the old curfew myself...

    Anyway, onto the matter in hand. I think your so-called best friend, is insecure, and thus, is trying to force herself to be somthing she's not. She sounds like she's trying to demean and belittle you, in order to make herself look better. This really isn't on - I wouldn't expect it of anyone, let alone a friend. You should confide in her; again if you already have done so, tell her that you feel that she is trying to demean yoy, and this makes you think etc. This is confrontation, without being aggressive. Use your thoughts and feelings to get your message across, as otherwise she'll be on the defensive.

    Ask your friends if they've noticed it too? Why don't you confide in them that she seems to be putting you down, and it's making you miserable?

    Anyway, I'm not gonna write a big essay right now, because I've somewhere to be...but it definitely sounds like you're not happy. So, if, once you've addressed your concerns with her, she still doesn't change, and has no sympathy or empathy for what you're feeling, I suggest you distance yourself from her. Spend more time with your sister, and you're neutral friends - act as though she is just a friend, as opposed to a 'best friend'. You'll soon start to feel more confident and content without her constantly snapping at you, and perhaps once she realises what it's like without you a little, she'll realise the error of her ways, eh?

    It's the only thing I can suggest, really. However, do make it clear how you feel - as she's not going to know her behaviour is upsetting you, unless you directly inform her.

    Good Luck.
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    (Original post by zhivago)
    Erm, you're 18 and you're not allowed out after 12? I think you should get your folks to slacken up the old curfew myself...
    i'm 18 and i'm not allowed out at all, without my parents permission, and certainly they are against myself going out after 8(in winter)/9:30(summer)!

    how bad is that:mad: - can't wait till uni...going to be a rebel then, hehe

    I HATE MY PARENTS soo much!
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    maken them know brother, it shall set you free
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    (Original post by Phil23)
    i'm 18 and i'm not allowed out at all, without my parents permission, and certainly they are against myself going out after 8(in winter)/9:30(summer)!

    how bad is that:mad: - can't wait till uni...going to be a rebel then, hehe

    I HATE MY PARENTS soo much!
    Holy ****.
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    (Original post by Everdawn)
    oh god, thats terrible!!!

    But My bestie goes to a little indipendent uni thats like a street away from her house and she works at Subway which is basically the next street over. She has strict parents who never let her have a life even though she is 18. She is trapped basically. She doesnt get any male interaction and acts so immaturely around guys. Shes so bad to go out with, her idea of dating/hooking up is like somethign out of a 1940's movie where there is a chaperone involved. Seriously she needs to snap out of it and grow a spine.
    my parents are strict but its not too bad cos im off at uni 7 months of the year and do as i please.
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    (Original post by zhivago)
    Erm, you're 18 and you're not allowed out after 12? I think you should get your folks to slacken up the old curfew myself...

    Anyway, onto the matter in hand. I think your so-called best friend, is insecure, and thus, is trying to force herself to be somthing she's not. She sounds like she's trying to demean and belittle you, in order to make herself look better. This really isn't on - I wouldn't expect it of anyone, let alone a friend. You should confide in her; again if you already have done so, tell her that you feel that she is trying to demean yoy, and this makes you think etc. This is confrontation, without being aggressive. Use your thoughts and feelings to get your message across, as otherwise she'll be on the defensive.

    Ask your friends if they've noticed it too? Why don't you confide in them that she seems to be putting you down, and it's making you miserable?

    Anyway, I'm not gonna write a big essay right now, because I've somewhere to be...but it definitely sounds like you're not happy. So, if, once you've addressed your concerns with her, she still doesn't change, and has no sympathy or empathy for what you're feeling, I suggest you distance yourself from her. Spend more time with your sister, and you're neutral friends - act as though she is just a friend, as opposed to a 'best friend'. You'll soon start to feel more confident and content without her constantly snapping at you, and perhaps once she realises what it's like without you a little, she'll realise the error of her ways, eh?

    It's the only thing I can suggest, really. However, do make it clear how you feel - as she's not going to know her behaviour is upsetting you, unless you directly inform her.

    Good Luck.
    thats a good idea (treating her as just a friend as opposed to a best friend) ill try that and see how it goes. i dont need to run along to someone and tell them everything.
    i have tried talking to her explaining to her how i feel and she still got defensive, i explained to her maybe your not doing it on purpose its just the way you are and she still couldnt take that i was judging her.

    today were in the car and the topic of sex and virginity came up, now shes 20 years old and a virgin and shes proud of it, i for one am not a virgin and she tried to bring me down so much saying look where its gotten you... as if im some sort of a slut (whjich she knows im not) and i argued with her sarcastically for a bit then i was like piss off your being a b*itch and its all uncalled for. she shut up immediately and the car went silent, was a bit akward but for the remainder of the day she was actually being nice to me.
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    (Original post by Phil23)
    i'm 18 and i'm not allowed out at all, without my parents permission, and certainly they are against myself going out after 8(in winter)/9:30(summer)!

    how bad is that:mad: - can't wait till uni...going to be a rebel then, hehe

    I HATE MY PARENTS soo much!
    how do u do it? have you tried talking to them about it?
    ive tried but i guess they arents as strict as yours but its still frustrating.
 
 
 
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