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    I'm sorry to have a big moan on a thread, and if you're of the mindset that given the terrible hardship some people have to endure 'western youth' has no right to complain or be sad about anything then please don't read this 'coz I don't wanna annoy anyone! I just need to talk to someone and don't really have anyone right now that I am able to talk to so I thought I would do it here.
    Basically I had a bit of a crap year which culminated in me being really depressed for a few months back in March/April time. I have, to a large extent, and with the help of some great people, sorted myself out now, but I still have the odd day (quite a few of which have been lately) where I feel as down as I did then, with the only improvement being that at least I know I can get through it this time. But I feel like people expect me to be totally fine now all the time and I'm just not yet; I don't see how I could go from what I was like just a couple of months ago to being totally fine at all times.
    The thing is, one of the main reasons this year was so crap was that I fell out with my best friend of 12 years, in a really drawn out, complicated way. And we were in a group of four really close mates, one of which sided with her and the other I'm still fine with but we've basically lost touch (she went to a different college) and now we have nothing in common and don't know what to say to each other. We lead completely different lives. So basically, the three people, and mostly my best mate, I used to be able to talk to about anything and used to spend all my time with I know longer see at all. So at the moment I'm tied up with regrets about the way I handled the year and I've no-one to talk about it with 'coz I've lost my closest mates! D'oh!
    The people I would usually have got help with this on can't help me at the moment. I had a lot of support at college but I've left now so that's had a huge impact. The really good mates I have at college all live pretty far away and most of us don't drive so I've not seen them. I was getting counsilling once a week at college and obviously that's stopped so that's another outlet that's dried up. And the person who helps me the most has a lot on at the moment and it really doesn't feel right to talk to her about it atm: it would feel really selfish and self-absorbed and I spent so much time talking to her at the time I was really down that I don't want her to think I'm this miserable person all the time lol! Plus I'm worried about some otther stuff that I can't really go into. I would just love someone to have a decent conversation with again, it's been so long. I'm bottling stuff up again and I said I wouldn't do that anymore but I have to. Basically I just feel crap. The heat doesn't help 'coz it brings out my exzema and hayfever really angrily and sleep gets harder to come by. I'm just spending too much time on my own.
    Sorry to post such a long, miserable thread. I just thought getting it off my chest might help. Sorry everyone. Thanks.
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    its funny how people fall out and some people take sides, it just makes you see, that person wasnt worth it in the first place.
    your 18 rite? are you going to uni in sept? if you are then dont worry, ull make loads of new friends there and start over and have an amazing time, trust me.
    if not ull probably get a job and make friends through there...

    all you need at this stage in time is not for people to feel sorry for you but people u can have a bit of fun with cos ur lonely.

    hope that helps
    and remember keep your head up cos (im a hypocrite i know!) noone absolutely noone is worth making you feel bad, and if they were they wouldnt make you feel bad in the first place....
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    (Original post by LHMarsh10)
    I'm sorry to have a big moan on a thread, and if you're of the mindset that given the terrible hardship some people have to endure 'western youth' has no right to complain or be sad about anything then please don't read this 'coz I don't wanna annoy anyone! I just need to talk to someone and don't really have anyone right now that I am able to talk to so I thought I would do it here.
    Basically I had a bit of a crap year which culminated in me being really depressed for a few months back in March/April time. I have, to a large extent, and with the help of some great people, sorted myself out now, but I still have the odd day (quite a few of which have been lately) where I feel as down as I did then, with the only improvement being that at least I know I can get through it this time. But I feel like people expect me to be totally fine now all the time and I'm just not yet; I don't see how I could go from what I was like just a couple of months ago to being totally fine at all times.
    The thing is, one of the main reasons this year was so crap was that I fell out with my best friend of 12 years, in a really drawn out, complicated way. And we were in a group of four really close mates, one of which sided with her and the other I'm still fine with but we've basically lost touch (she went to a different college) and now we have nothing in common and don't know what to say to each other. We lead completely different lives. So basically, the three people, and mostly my best mate, I used to be able to talk to about anything and used to spend all my time with I know longer see at all. So at the moment I'm tied up with regrets about the way I handled the year and I've no-one to talk about it with 'coz I've lost my closest mates! D'oh!
    The people I would usually have got help with this on can't help me at the moment. I had a lot of support at college but I've left now so that's had a huge impact. The really good mates I have at college all live pretty far away and most of us don't drive so I've not seen them. I was getting counsilling once a week at college and obviously that's stopped so that's another outlet that's dried up. And the person who helps me the most has a lot on at the moment and it really doesn't feel right to talk to her about it atm: it would feel really selfish and self-absorbed and I spent so much time talking to her at the time I was really down that I don't want her to think I'm this miserable person all the time lol! Plus I'm worried about some otther stuff that I can't really go into. I would just love someone to have a decent conversation with again, it's been so long. I'm bottling stuff up again and I said I wouldn't do that anymore but I have to. Basically I just feel crap. The heat doesn't help 'coz it brings out my exzema and hayfever really angrily and sleep gets harder to come by. I'm just spending too much time on my own.
    Sorry to post such a long, miserable thread. I just thought getting it off my chest might help. Sorry everyone. Thanks.

    first of all- massive hug its sounds like you realy have had a crap year so far and i'm really sorry you've had to go through this! no one deserves to! it is always difficult to say farewell to a friendship that has endured so much for so long, its only natural to feel the way you do atm. However, you don't have to stay this way- you have to prove that you don't need girls like the one you broke up with, that you don't need her to live your life to the full. Others really cannot expect you to be totally over depression so quickly, depression is an illness that can occur at anytime throughout one's life, so those who aren't giving you support, should get over themselves and help you out! kriztinae is right in saying that wherever you go in september, whether it be uni or work, you will make friends and hopefully then you will begin to get yor life on track again. I know most of what I've said here probably doesn't make sense but what I'm getting at is that you will not be down for the rest of your life, so go out have a good time, and let the friendship go peacefully!
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    I'm very sorry to hear you've had such a bad year, and I hope things get good for you. As the people before me have said, you're off to uni next year, and you'll make loads of good friends there. Friends do tend to come and go, but you can never have too many of them, and university will give you a fantastic opportunity to do so.

    Chin up!
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    the heats making things difficult for a lot of us at the moment i think:-) my advice would be too try and take your mind off things, get a job maybe as it'll distract you, you'll get out more and meet new people. the worst thing is staying in the house all day - i really can't cope with that, try and go out for several hours a day and if possible is there any relations ie a parent, sibling you could talk to? you'd be surprised at how understanding they can be.. my sister used to try and strangle me all the time but shes v understanding when i need a talk
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    Laughter is the best remedy, but since you won't have that, I suggest a really funky album! Put some music on, and KNOW that you are better than your friends. You have a problemo, but it's not for ever; you'll make new mates at uni/work like has been said. Live your life, don't feel sorry for yourself. Get out there and be strong.
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    This is such a coincidence. I'm going through pretty much the same thing now.
    I've just finished my first year at college. It's been ok but the work is, well, very hard work. It has taken up alot of my time, so I've not been able to see my old friends from high school as much as I used to (was everyday then). There are 10 of them, and 8 of them don't talk to me any more. The other two I hardly see anyway. I've known some for 6 years and some since reception class. Now I can't accept that after so long being friends they don't seem to care about me any more. When I do make the effort to go over and say hi, have a conversation, no-one says anything! It's awful. I've had to put up with this since last september, and today it all came flooding out in a meeting about subject choices with my senior tutor. She sent me to my first counciling session today. I can't see that it's going to help. The problem will not go away. It wouldn't be so bad if I didnt see them anymore, but I do, everyday. Laughing and having fun together like we used to in high school, just without me. Some of them give me evil looks, the rest ignore me. And it hurts so much, you wouldn't believe. The worst thing is, it's my birthday tomorrow, and I'm dreading it because I don't know what will happen. I just have the feeling they'll all have forgotten that too,, or remembered and willl not wish me a happy day or anything. I'm on the verge of tears a lot of the time.
    Sorry I don't have any advice for the person that wrote this thread. But as others have said, you are going to uni, which means you will forget your old friends and, more importantly, not have to see them, which may help.
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    (Original post by LHMarsh10)
    I'm sorry to have a big moan on a thread, and if you're of the mindset that given the terrible hardship some people have to endure 'western youth' has no right to complain or be sad about anything then please don't read this 'coz I don't wanna annoy anyone! I just need to talk to someone and don't really have anyone right now that I am able to talk to so I thought I would do it here.
    Basically I had a bit of a crap year which culminated in me being really depressed for a few months back in March/April time. I have, to a large extent, and with the help of some great people, sorted myself out now, but I still have the odd day (quite a few of which have been lately) where I feel as down as I did then, with the only improvement being that at least I know I can get through it this time. But I feel like people expect me to be totally fine now all the time and I'm just not yet; I don't see how I could go from what I was like just a couple of months ago to being totally fine at all times.
    The thing is, one of the main reasons this year was so crap was that I fell out with my best friend of 12 years, in a really drawn out, complicated way. And we were in a group of four really close mates, one of which sided with her and the other I'm still fine with but we've basically lost touch (she went to a different college) and now we have nothing in common and don't know what to say to each other. We lead completely different lives. So basically, the three people, and mostly my best mate, I used to be able to talk to about anything and used to spend all my time with I know longer see at all. So at the moment I'm tied up with regrets about the way I handled the year and I've no-one to talk about it with 'coz I've lost my closest mates! D'oh!
    The people I would usually have got help with this on can't help me at the moment. I had a lot of support at college but I've left now so that's had a huge impact. The really good mates I have at college all live pretty far away and most of us don't drive so I've not seen them. I was getting counsilling once a week at college and obviously that's stopped so that's another outlet that's dried up. And the person who helps me the most has a lot on at the moment and it really doesn't feel right to talk to her about it atm: it would feel really selfish and self-absorbed and I spent so much time talking to her at the time I was really down that I don't want her to think I'm this miserable person all the time lol! Plus I'm worried about some otther stuff that I can't really go into. I would just love someone to have a decent conversation with again, it's been so long. I'm bottling stuff up again and I said I wouldn't do that anymore but I have to. Basically I just feel crap. The heat doesn't help 'coz it brings out my exzema and hayfever really angrily and sleep gets harder to come by. I'm just spending too much time on my own.
    Sorry to post such a long, miserable thread. I just thought getting it off my chest might help. Sorry everyone. Thanks.
    Aww, honey...you sound really down, i wish i could give a great big hug, you sound like you need it. I know how it feels to lose your best friends and have none around when you really need them, i've been in the same position though i have never been in a state of actual depression. this probabaly won'tn help much at it probabaly sounds really pathetic, but one thing that has always made me smile is to think that on TSR everyone is a friend and although you have never met them and you can't see their face you know you can talk to them and say absolutely anything and most of them won't judge you. Thats not very helpful, but i just thought i'd express that to you, in the hope of cheering up a little. xxx
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    I'm coming to the end of a pretty lonely gap year, what with all my friends having been at uni since September. Sometimes we go through times in our lives that truly are ******, and we just have to stay strong and deal with it. I know it's hard, but the crapness really will come to an end. It has to. You've just left college, so you've reached a turning point in your life. Whether you're going to uni or starting work, this is the point in life where you will most likely be meeting the people who turn out to be your closest friends in the long run. Friendships we have as children or teenagers all too often don't last, simply because we are too young and too incompatible. Now you'll be far more likely to meet like-minded people and find some true kindred spirits.

    So stay positive. I know it's hard, but the crap times do not last forever. If you set your mind to it, you'll be able to beat this. Good luck!
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    I have this problem too right now but who cares? I don't have any friends, only classmates that I can talk with. In fact, I don't have "real" friends that I can talk to. I'm Mr.Lonely.

    My opinion is that friends are not so important as the family but I can admit that it could be very boring when you feel alone sometimes. Why don't you go to some kind of sport activity and meet some other people?
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    (Original post by Ronaldinho_88)
    I have this problem too right now but who cares? I don't have any friends, only classmates that I can talk with. In fact, I don't have "real" friends that I can talk to. I'm Mr.Lonely.

    My opinion is that friends are not so important as the family but I can admit that it could be very boring when you feel alone sometimes. Why don't you go to some kind of sport activity and meet some other people?
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    Thanks so much everyone for your responses. It's really nice to hear some supportive words and I very much appreciate the advice and the hugs! You all made me feel a little better. I do start uni in October and I know things will be different then. I just hope I don't waste uni being depressed in the way I feel I perhaps wasted college. Just want to last till then and make the most of this long awaited summer - which I don't feel I'm doing right now. I will try to be more positive though.
    kriztinae: Thanks, you're right, I shouldn't have let these people make me feel bad. I will try to hold my head high. I'm not meaning to come across like I want people to feel sorry for me; that's exactly why I haven't told the people around me. I just thought posting it on here was a more considerate way of getting it off my chest. Thanks for the words and also for the rep.
    *starry eyed *: Thanks so much for the massive hug (exactly what I need lol ) and the really supportive words. I always think you come across as a lovely person in your posts and this reaffirmed that. It really meant a lot and what you said made a lot of sense and made me feel better. Thanks muchly.
    Spider: Thanks mate! Chin up indeed!
    Lirael Abhorsen: You're right, I do need to get a job or find a distraction of some kind. It is the spending all day alone in my house thing that is giving me too much time to think. I'm looking for a job atm. My big bro recently moved to Florida along with my sis in law and gorgeous baby nephew so I guess I'm missing them too. The person I usually talk to is a relative but like I said, she has a lot on herself at the moment and I'm not gonna bother her with my crap, it wouldn't be right. Thanks for replying.
    Whizz kid: Thanks mate. 'Be strong' really encouraged me. You're right, the funky album goes on tomorrow! May have to watch some Friends too; it always makes me chuckle.
    play the world: Aww I'm so sorry for you, I know exactly what you must be going through. I did five subjects last year which didn't leave much time for friends either. It would seem at times that being a hard worker and having a successful friendship network just aren't compatable, although there are people out there who handle it a heck of a lot better than I do. I really hope you're birthday goes ok tomorrow; I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think. And believe me, the councilling will help. It can be painful at times but it's really helpful in the long run. I ended up spilling my soul to someone out of the blue in much the same way. Best of luck and if you ever want to talk more/talk to someone who knows what you mean PM me and I'd be glad to provide any help I could.
    Ant93: Thanks so much, your reply did make a lot of sense and your hug was much appreciated. Yours is one of the replies that made me smile the most; you sound really sweet. Thanks.
    susiemakemeblue: You're right; thanks for the wise words and advice. I know I can beat this.
    Ronaldinho 88: Thanks for the suggestion: I don't know if there's anything like that round here but I'll give it some thought.
    chewwy: Didn't quite get that lol!
    Thanks also to Butterfly for the rep. Sorry everyone for the mega long post again!
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    good luck at uni
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    (Original post by LHMarsh10)
    Thanks so much everyone for your responses. It's really nice to hear some supportive words and I very much appreciate the advice and the hugs! You all made me feel a little better. I do start uni in October and I know things will be different then. I just hope I don't waste uni being depressed in the way I feel I perhaps wasted college. Just want to last till then and make the most of this long awaited summer - which I don't feel I'm doing right now. I will try to be more positive though.
    kriztinae: Thanks, you're right, I shouldn't have let these people make me feel bad. I will try to hold my head high. I'm not meaning to come across like I want people to feel sorry for me; that's exactly why I haven't told the people around me. I just thought posting it on here was a more considerate way of getting it off my chest. Thanks for the words and also for the rep.
    u wont be depressed at uni, just remember that everyone there is new and looking for new friends... youl have a blast
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    Awww dude, come here :hugs: I kinda know how you feel; I've not had a great year either. I left uni for the second time because I wasn't working and after Feb exams I got depressed about 5 weeks, it's better now because I changed my sleep patterns so I wasn't staying up all night and getting up at 5pm which was not good for anything. But I had to split with my LDR girlfriend as well (4000miles she was in the USA) as we'd grown apart. I was OK with it because I'd seen it coming. And on New Year's Eve I was hospitalised with my migraine I'd had for 5 days, though luckily it got better. Not me ranting Things will get better; I'm searching for a job atm and enjoying not having uni stress. If you wanna talk you can PM me though I'm not the best one atm because I'm only on the net via the library one hour a day. Hope things get better for you.
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    I'm so glad i was able to help you. I wasn't sure if what i had said made any sense at all, about everyone on TSR being friends becuase one of my friends who i actually see, looked at me as if i was crazy when i mentioned the idea to them. I really hope things work out and get better for you, i'mm sure you'll be fine, all lives have their ups and downs. xxx
 
 
 
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