Piggy In The Middle

If Friend A went and told you something that concerned Friend B, and it was something Friend B wanted to know for a while but didn't have any confirmation, would you tell Friend B?

If I tell her, he'll be mad at me, because she'll almost definitely talk to him about it, and he'll know I've told her. If I don't, she'll almost definitely find out that I already knew, and we've been such good friends lately and I don't want to ruin that.

It's not a case of ignoring it; that's the same as not telling her.

But...what if he knows I may tell her, and decided to inform me of this little piece of information in the hope that I do tell her? If that's the case, why the hell isn't he doing his own dirty work?

I know some of you may want the background story to this - they had a long relationship, but they've been apart for two, three weeks now. Friend B's been wondering whether the girl her ex is hanging out with is a new girlfriend, but her ex won't give her a straight answer and has been threatening her with all sorts (harassment orders, etc.) if she keeps contacting him. But she just wants to know. Just that one little bit of information, and then she'll leave it.

Now, he told me this morning that him and this girl are together. So now, I know something my friend would like to know. But am I going to have to tell her, or not?

Reply 1

musicbloke

tell her and then tell him thaat you wouldn't have had to tell her if he hadn't been acting like an arse

MB

Reply 2

lostinfantasies

And if he gets annoyed with me, just go "whatever"?

Reply 3

Brown Eyed Girl

lostinfantasies

And if he gets annoyed with me, just go "whatever"?

he shouldn't of put you in such a painful situation

hes stringing your friend along which is hurting her.

Reply 4

lostinfantasies

I know! And I can see it's hurting her, which is why I want to tell her.

Part of me's thinking that if he really did plan to tell me just so I could tell her, then he's no friend. But he may have just said it as a mate, as an offhand comment without any intent involved.

Reply 5

F. Poste

Tell him that if she knew whether he had a new girlfriend or not, she'd leave it alone forever, and that that's a good thing... then you might get his permission :smile:

Reply 6

lostinfantasies

She's told him that. She wanted her ring back and to know whether he's with this new girl or not. She's got her ring back, but he hasn't told her about this girl.

I know she'd want to know how long they've been together for, but that's just a general question alongside asking whether they're together or not - it's only been a few weeks since the break up. He might have been seeing her whilst with my friend.

I might text him (be a bit difficult to go round and see him) and tell him that even if it wasn't intentional, I don't appreciate being put in the middle, and that if he wanted my friend to know through me, it isn't going to work. He can do his own dirty work.

Reply 7

lostinfantasies

Well - I did it. I texted him about it, and asked whether he knew he put me in a difficult position. Probably not the wisest thing I've ever done and he most likely won't text back, but I've done it.

Reply 8

Brown Eyed Girl

lostinfantasies

Well - I did it. I texted him about it, and asked whether he knew he put me in a difficult position. Probably not the wisest thing I've ever done and he most likely won't text back, but I've done it.

he knew what he was doing when he told you so he put him self there. it was either say something or sit here takling to us beating your self up on what you should do...

Reply 9

lostinfantasies

Exactly

.

I've half a mind to shove him and her in a room, lock the door, and get them to talk.

Reply 10

Apricot Fairy

Tell her but get her to promise she won't say anything until she hears it from someone else. That way you've told her, but she didn't hear it from you.

If she's the one who seems to be badly affected by the breakup and he's with someone new, support the one who needs you more.

Reply 11

L i b

Friend A seems like a bit of a psycho. Why does she think she deserves to know this and, more importantly, what gives her the right to harass Friend B until he tells her? Do you honestly think people with this sort of personality will leave someone alone after they find out one bit of information?

If I was in that position, I'd keep quiet and if she does come to you when she finds out, just tell her that it was between you and B and she has no right expecting you to tell her things that are told to you in private.