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Don't want to...
This is going to sound really silly. 
On Monday I met this guy at the gym. We were in the jacuzzi and got chatting. Anyway, we were talking for quite a while and getting on well, and arranged to meet for a drink in the bar afterwards. He was nice, about 18 months older than me, working in London and living not very far from where I live. Not really my type though. Anyway, when I went home, we exchanged numbers.
On Tuesday lunchtime he text me, just to ask "What's up?", basically. I think that's what put me off. It wasn't even 24 hours later. I wasn't that keen on him, and I don't really like being pestered. I probably wouldn't have minded if he'd left it a bit longer, but it was SO soon. So I put off texting him back because I didn't want to get drawn into a long text conversation. I was going to do it yesterday, but then I didn't, and I was going to do it today, but then I didn't. Then this evening he called me. I knew it was him before I even looked at my phone. Anyway, I didn't pick up because I wasn't sure what to say. Maybe I'm just weird, but I'd rather someone waited a while before texting, and didn't call at all until we'd seen each other a few times.
Now my problem is, he was nice. And I don't want to just ignore him, because I'll feel mean. On the other hand, I get the feeling that if I text him back, he won't stop texting me. I don't even text my friends anyway. I hardly ever use my phone, it bores me. I don't really want to talk to him on the phone either because I just know it will be awkward. And I don't especially want to go for a drink with him. Don't get me wrong, he's nice enough. I just don't think we hit it off enough.
So what do I do? Should I just ignore him? Or should I text him back and then try and cool it off gradually, before it even starts? Or what? I don't know. I'm confused.
Help!
Edit: also, if I just ignore him, you can bet your life I'll bump into him again at the gym. I have this knack....
On Monday I met this guy at the gym. We were in the jacuzzi and got chatting. Anyway, we were talking for quite a while and getting on well, and arranged to meet for a drink in the bar afterwards. He was nice, about 18 months older than me, working in London and living not very far from where I live. Not really my type though. Anyway, when I went home, we exchanged numbers.
On Tuesday lunchtime he text me, just to ask "What's up?", basically. I think that's what put me off. It wasn't even 24 hours later. I wasn't that keen on him, and I don't really like being pestered. I probably wouldn't have minded if he'd left it a bit longer, but it was SO soon. So I put off texting him back because I didn't want to get drawn into a long text conversation. I was going to do it yesterday, but then I didn't, and I was going to do it today, but then I didn't. Then this evening he called me. I knew it was him before I even looked at my phone. Anyway, I didn't pick up because I wasn't sure what to say. Maybe I'm just weird, but I'd rather someone waited a while before texting, and didn't call at all until we'd seen each other a few times.
Now my problem is, he was nice. And I don't want to just ignore him, because I'll feel mean. On the other hand, I get the feeling that if I text him back, he won't stop texting me. I don't even text my friends anyway. I hardly ever use my phone, it bores me. I don't really want to talk to him on the phone either because I just know it will be awkward. And I don't especially want to go for a drink with him. Don't get me wrong, he's nice enough. I just don't think we hit it off enough.
So what do I do? Should I just ignore him? Or should I text him back and then try and cool it off gradually, before it even starts? Or what? I don't know. I'm confused.
Help!
Edit: also, if I just ignore him, you can bet your life I'll bump into him again at the gym. I have this knack....
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OK, text him asking who he is, as though he's texted the wrong person. If he phones, don't pick up, text him saying "Please stop calling me, I don't know who you are" or something like that.
Even better, if he calls when a friend is nearby, get them to answer the phone and then he'll be like "Eeek I have the wrong number!". Then when he see's you at the gym he'll explain that to you, and you can be like "Oh did you text me or something?" as though you're not really that bothered. He should get the hint (unless he's an idiot, which he may well be!)....and then just make excuses about how you're too busy.
He *may* catch on to what you're doing, but 99% chance that he won't actually ASK you whether you're doing that, in case he makes himself look a fool!
Then, change gym
Even better, if he calls when a friend is nearby, get them to answer the phone and then he'll be like "Eeek I have the wrong number!". Then when he see's you at the gym he'll explain that to you, and you can be like "Oh did you text me or something?" as though you're not really that bothered. He should get the hint (unless he's an idiot, which he may well be!)....and then just make excuses about how you're too busy.
He *may* catch on to what you're doing, but 99% chance that he won't actually ASK you whether you're doing that, in case he makes himself look a fool!
Then, change gym
Unfortunately I put my number into his phone myself and called my own phone to get his number. There's no way he could have the wrong number. God I'm stupid. No wonder he thinks I'm interested.
I do like the idea about getting back with my ex though.
Or I could not answer and if I ever see him again tell him I lost my phone?
I do like the idea about getting back with my ex though.
Or I could not answer and if I ever see him again tell him I lost my phone?
dobbs
OK, text him asking who he is, as though he's texted the wrong person. If he phones, don't pick up, text him saying "Please stop calling me, I don't know who you are" or something like that.
Even better, if he calls when a friend is nearby, get them to answer the phone and then he'll be like "Eeek I have the wrong number!". Then when he see's you at the gym he'll explain that to you, and you can be like "Oh did you text me or something?" as though you're not really that bothered. He should get the hint (unless he's an idiot, which he may well be!)....and then just make excuses about how you're too busy.
He *may* catch on to what you're doing, but 99% chance that he won't actually ASK you whether you're doing that, in case he makes himself look a fool!
Then, change gym
Even better, if he calls when a friend is nearby, get them to answer the phone and then he'll be like "Eeek I have the wrong number!". Then when he see's you at the gym he'll explain that to you, and you can be like "Oh did you text me or something?" as though you're not really that bothered. He should get the hint (unless he's an idiot, which he may well be!)....and then just make excuses about how you're too busy.
He *may* catch on to what you're doing, but 99% chance that he won't actually ASK you whether you're doing that, in case he makes himself look a fool!
Then, change gym
If I was the guy that'd make me feel even worse than if the girl just told me straight.
But I don't know what to say
How so? 
Because i'd take you out and make you happy and always be there for you. I'd make you laugh and listen to you with twinkling eyes. Then we'd go to a deserted island perhaps in the bahamas and drink coke and wear sunglasses and go around like a happy young couple 
I feel the love now... O.o
I feel the love now... O.o
You're a nutter, you are!
Any more suggestions people? Please??
Any more suggestions people? Please??
Anyone?
I think you should text him back, but don't get drawn into a text conversation. Don't arrange to meet him either, except maybe in a 'see you at the gym sometime' sort of way. Then when you do see him at the gym, tell him that you think he's nice but that you're not interested in dating him. Tell him about a recent split with an ex or something if that's true, but be nice to him without flirting. Hmmm. That's not very useful. I tend to think that being truthful in this sort of situation is much better than an elaborate lie, because if you get caught out you'll look kind of silly making up stuff to discourage a guy you haven't even been out with yet. That said, people being over-keen is quite annoying, as though they're just setting themselves up to be hurt. So if he seems like a genuinely nice person, be gentle, but make it clear that you don't want to go out with him.
I guess the thing is I liked this other guy a while back, and I genuinely thought he was interested and something might happen, and when it didn't I was pretty down for quite a while afterwards. So I don't want to encourage him and end up doing the same thing.
Text him saying you've been really busy with work and you let your phone battery run out and you just got the text.
ask him how he is and then if he makes some enormous text convo just try and kill the vibe completely with some really short uninterested answers and dont ask him any questions. should get the hint/bored
ask him how he is and then if he makes some enormous text convo just try and kill the vibe completely with some really short uninterested answers and dont ask him any questions. should get the hint/bored
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