Keep on going soft before sex Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Im a 18 yr old male and have been going out with my gf (19) for nearly 6 months, we are both still virgins.

A couple of months ago we tried to have sex, but because of a combination of her being quite tight (even tho i finger her often with 2 fingers) & me having a fairly large penis, i couldnt 'fit' it in at all, the head wouldnt even start to go in (it stayed hard no problem).

So since this we have tried sex numerous times, but i keep on going soft just before or when i try to put it in her, its really distressing me, my girlfriend is understanding, but i guess she must be a little annoyed because we both really want sex.

I always make sure shes ready for it, through foreplay and / or lube, but then when the time comes, i suddenly go soft.
I can masturbate or recieve handjobs easily staying hard until cumming, so i dont think i have a proper erection problem, maybe just nerves.

But what can i do to solve this? I have thought Viagra, but is this something to see my GP about, would he proscribe me it?
It kinda dents my ego thinking i need viarga at 18, and this is all getting to me, i cant help thinking im a failure

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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rscully
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#2
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Google 'horny goat weed'.
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Reue
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Viagra and yes, your doctor would give you it.
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JellyBean123
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#4
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The obsessing over it probably isn't helping. If you expect it to happen then it is more likely it will happen. I know its easier said than done, but it's true.
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sophisticated
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#5
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Its a psychological problem. This is happening to you because it didn't work out the first time you tried and now its niggling at the back of your mind everytime you try again. Its nothing to do with you physically. All you can do is keep trying and try to ease the pressure off and not think about it. Just let things happen. It'll work out in its own time, don't worry! The more you worry, the more it'll keep happening.
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Wren
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(Original post by rscully)
Google 'horny goat weed'.
Haha I used to sell this! I used to work at the call centre that handles Healthy Direct catalogue calls and it was always a laugh when people phoned in for this! The call centre also handled a company called "Gash", kind of like anne summers, thank god I didn't have to answer those I would have laughed straight down the phone!

EDIT: Erectile dysfunction isn't funny, and I'm immature.
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Anonymous #2
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heard of erectile dysnfuction? that could be the case and also could be due to the way you masturbate..
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joshcan
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hey, your problem is completely psychological. this has happened to me first time with both my current and ex-girlfriend, its nothing to worry about, you just need to relax but that's easier said than done, best thing to do is just keep trying.. worked out for me first time when i finally got annoyed at myself enough to kind of sidestep the nerves; but anyway, good luck
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rscully
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(Original post by Wren)
Haha I used to sell this! I used to work at the call centre that handles Healthy Direct catalogue calls and it was always a laugh when people phoned in for this! The call centre also handled a company called "Gash", kind of like anne summers, thank god I didn't have to answer those I would have laughed straight down the phone!

EDIT: Erectile dysfunction isn't funny, and I'm immature.
A gash opened just down the road from me, no pun intended. Pretty awful name for a kinky lingerie shop, I always thought!
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Im a 18 yr old male and have been going out with my gf (19) for nearly 6 months, we are both still virgins.

A couple of months ago we tried to have sex, but because of a combination of her being quite tight (even tho i finger her often with 2 fingers) & me having a fairly large penis, i couldnt 'fit' it in at all, the head wouldnt even start to go in (it stayed hard no problem).

So since this we have tried sex numerous times, but i keep on going soft just before or when i try to put it in her, its really distressing me, my girlfriend is understanding, but i guess she must be a little annoyed because we both really want sex.

I always make sure shes ready for it, through foreplay and / or lube, but then when the time comes, i suddenly go soft.
I can masturbate or recieve handjobs easily staying hard until cumming, so i dont think i have a proper erection problem, maybe just nerves.

But what can i do to solve this? I have thought Viagra, but is this something to see my GP about, would he proscribe me it?
It kinda dents my ego thinking i need viarga at 18, and this is all getting to me, i cant help thinking im a failure

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
  1. You are spending all the foreplay time getting her ready.
  2. Because it didn't happen the first time there is pressure on you both.
  3. She's made comfortable through foreplay when you aren't really.
  4. Viagra is a bit extreme, you can get it up.
  5. Why not try and make foreplay more about you instead of just getting her all wet and ready?
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Anonymous #4
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This sounds exactly like the problem my boyfriend has. We've discussed it before and we've come to the conclusion it's just his nerves. He had one instance where he failed to sustain an erection and now he worries about failing everytime we become intimate.

The only way to overcome the problem, that we've noticed, is to just stop thinking completely. Let your animal side take over and once you do it right just once, your fear will start to dwindle.

It's not a failure on your part and there is nothing wrong with you, remember that. And trust me, if she loves you, she doesn't mind. She probably hates that it hurts you and upsets you more than she is actually bothered by the "problem."

I don't suggest taking medication for it until you try to just get relaxed and stop thinking. Get really into it, and just don't THINK. Thinking is bad at such moments - ruins everything.
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maxfire
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Man up.
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9MmBulletz
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#13
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#13
Maybe you are actually gay- you jerk off about gay porn while you're trying to have sex with your girlfriend, then when you realise that you're gonna penetrate her, the penis goes flaccid as pussy is not for you. It's good that your gay- more pussy for me :awesome:
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Nick Longjohnson
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff4HL6jpV4o

problem solved

http://www.foxnwolf.com/image/Tiagra.jpg
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Keith Lemon
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Reeeelllaaaax! Just don't think about it too much and you'll be away!
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CrookedLegs
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#16
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you don't need viagra, you can get an erection. It sounds like you're just worried that what happened the first time will happen again; don't. Just relax, take it slow, plenty of foreplay, make her feel comfortable. Also, another thing that may be holding you/her back- whenever you've tried it, are there people in the house? She might be a bit tentative and thinking about being too loud and therefore she's tight because she's worried.

Anyway, it's not a problem with you, you're just worried about it not working again. Talk to her about it and she'll convince you that it won't happen again, then everything will be alright and then the good times will roll.
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Anonymous #5
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(Original post by maxfire)
Man up.
Dont say **** like that to someone with erection problems dude. **** off.

I know exactly how you feel OP, I can empathise with 99% of your problems (the other 1% being that I don't really have sex with girls, but it's still a massive problem nonetheless). Dont consider viagra though.

The only thing you can do is break the cycle, and spontaneous sex really really helps with that. Personally I have had less issues sustaining and not worrying about erections in the morning when I am fresh and when I am most horny, and it's not a problem for me if the other person initiates foreplay out of the blue. Once you break the cycle you should be okay.
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Colonel.
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#18
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There might be a BDD (Boner Deflation Device) in place.
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victor_b1992
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#19
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masturbate the night before and then jst before you see her. then we will be able to have an erection for 1hr. lol trust me it works
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Anonymous #6
#20
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my ex, a boy who took my virginity and was rather good at doing it ( ) developed this problem briefly. he consulted me about it, why? i do not no! my words were: OH MY GOD MAN YOU'RE DOOOOOOOOMED!

he got back to me 2 weeks later to tell me that he talked to a mate who had the same problem, says it happens almost everyone at sometime or another, therefore it's rather normal. circumstantial "mental block" that's all it is.

don't think about it, enjoy the foreplay the sex will eventually come.
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