Help?

ok..I need some help with a problem that' been bugging me for ages....

Quick summary of my situation:

When I was 16 I went through a baaaaaad stage of depression and I burnt my wrists and my hand. This has left scars, although they are quite faint now. My mum hasn't seen them as I've managed to hide my arm for 2 yrs....which is suprising. The thing is, I want to tell her because I don't like hiding it from her and it's hell to wear long sleeves in the summer. I have to wear long sleeves 'cos I can't hide my hand without them...so no bracelets for me...I'm totally over my "depressiveness" now and I'd never harm myself again, I just have the scars left over, so to speak. I don't want to tell my mum because I don't want to hurt her, and I don't want her to think I'm crazy...or something. But mostly I don't want to hurt her. I'm also kind of ashamed that I could be so....."cliquey". All my friends no about my scars as I know I wont hurt them as much as my mum etc.
It's weird because I'm over it (scars etc) so telling y mum is like bringing up old new...if that makes sense.

Does anyone have any advice? thanks :smile:

Reply 1

mankyscot2

1

Lollirot

ok..I need some help with a problem that' been bugging me for ages....

Quick summary of my situation:

When I was 16 I went through a baaaaaad stage of depression and I burnt my wrists and my hand. This has left scars, although they are quite faint now. My mum hasn't seen them as I've managed to hide my arm for 2 yrs....which is suprising. The thing is, I want to tell her because I don't like hiding it from her and it's hell to wear long sleeves in the summer. I have to wear long sleeves 'cos I can't hide my hand without them...so no bracelets for me...I'm totally over my "depressiveness" now and I'd never harm myself again, I just have the scars left over, so to speak. I don't want to tell my mum because I don't want to hurt her, and I don't want her to think I'm crazy...or something. But mostly I don't want to hurt her. I'm also kind of ashamed that I could be so....."cliquey". All my friends no about my scars as I know I wont hurt them as much as my mum etc.
It's weird because I'm over it (scars etc) so telling y mum is like bringing up old new...if that makes sense.

Does anyone have any advice? thanks :smile:

Look hunny, your mum will understand, she may sub-conciously know that you went through a depressed stage but just didn't know how to help you. Tell her, but make sure you tell her that there is nothing she could have said or done to make you feel better at that stage and that you are totally over it, and maybe apologize for not telling her sooner.

I would tell her, she will understand, she may be upset but it will be because she will feel like she needed to protect you. It will have to come out sooner or later anyway, so just sit her down and have a good talk about it, it will most likely bring you much closer together.

Reply 2

Lollirot

OP

Thanks

Reply 3

mankyscot2

1

Lollirot

Thanks

Thats a shame why is no-one else helping you. You don't really need any advice from what I have gathered, you want to tell her so just do it. Be brave, your mum will respect you for it, and be much closer to you from now on.

Cal :wink:

Reply 4

Lollirot

OP

yeah, I'm just really bad at "talks". :/

Reply 5

sparklyglitter

10

I used to cut myself and the scars are pretty obvious but no one has noticed them(bar my mum who actually saw the cuts)....they are starting to fade now but there are lines in my arms :s-smilie:

.....the best thing to do is get some sun on the scars so they fade quicker.

Your mum will be understanding and I'm guessing she already has some idea that you have self harmed...mothers have a way of finding these things out usually...just don't mention it until she brings it up I'd say.

Reply 6

zhivago

2

I think you're brave in your decision to tell her; it shows maturity, acceptance and closure. I completely understand about how it must seem like you're dredging up "old news" as you put it. It's the same old concept that the longer you leave something, the more difficult it is, eh?

It may be, that she already knows, but as someone said, merely didn't know how to deal with it etc. Or she may have had her suspicions at the time - about the depression, if not the self-harming itself. Parents have a weird in-built sensor thing going on, you see... :wink:

Just broach the subject with the care, but you should be ok. It's good that you've decided you're going to tell her, as it proves that you really are past that stage in your life. The only concern I would have is that mothers being mothers, she may not believe herself that your self-harming is indeed completely 'over'. I would warn you that, even though you say it was over two years ago, she may still have her doubts and become worried and protective. Because that's what mothers are like - instictively, they assume the worst.

Good luck, she'll be fine about it probably. I'm sure she'd rather you were hurting yourself rather than somebody else hurting you. And as stupid as that sounds, I believe it to be true. But as you say, it's finished. She'll most likely accept that and move on, because you evidently have. :smile:

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