The Student Room Group

Do you have to be in love/at least fancy them to go out with someone?

Is it wrong to do so? Have you fallen for someone after you went out with them?

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I used to think I liked this guy but since I don't see him very often, the feeling was going weaker. Recently he told me that he liked me, but I don't have that feeling when you have a crush on someone and now I really want to fall for him properly...

We did meet up and chat a couple of times but I havn't talked to him for days now, I think he deliberately ignores my texts because he probably thought I didn't like him back.

I know lots of nice things about him and I do miss him alot, and I think that I would be able to like him much more than I do now. But I don't know how, because we don't get to see each other unless we plan to meet.

People say "give it a go" but even if I do go out I don't love him enough yet so I don't think we'll hold hands let alone kiss :s-smilie: So I guess that's not 'right'.

Last time I went out with a guy who I thought I'd fall for, but instead I just got really stressed by the fact that he liked me alot and I didn't, and we broke up :frown: I don't want that happening again and I might be scared to make a move because I'm too worried... and me thinking too much isn't helping :'(

I guess I don't want to just shrug it off because these chances don't come very often and I am quite jealous when I see all my friends happy in their relationships, and I did fancy him abit previously and it would work out if I did things right...
Reply 1
how could u love him before u go out lol thats unrealistic and you'll nevah go out with anyone if u have to love them first. maybe hang out with him more and see if that brings back ur feelings, just dont stress over it cos thats probably stops the feelings coming themselves.
i dont have to be in love but i have to find them physically attractive to want to be with them
Reply 3
Siobherz
how could u love him before u go out lol thats unrealistic and you'll nevah go out with anyone if u have to love them first. maybe hang out with him more and see if that brings back ur feelings, just dont stress over it cos thats probably stops the feelings coming themselves.


Yeah =S lol
Once we finish exams I'll arrange something with him...
The idea of 'loving someone' before you've even got to know them is in my opinion, quite frankly, ridiculous and very naive - something a child would say.

I'm actually really sick of this whole culture of people dating people just because they don't want to be single. Be ******* single for christ's sake, it's not going to kill you. Find someone you really connect with and THEN date them, don't go through a ton of guys you don't really like or find attractive just so you can say you're no longer single. It's pathetic. Grow some balls and be your own person; date people you find attractive both inside and out or don't date at all. What the **** is wrong with being single!?
Reply 5
Ilora-Danon
The idea of 'loving someone' before you've even got to know them is in my opinion, quite frankly, ridiculous and very naive - something a child would say.

I'm actually really sick of this whole culture of people dating people just because they don't want to be single. Be ******* single for christ's sake, it's not going to kill you. Find someone you really connect with and THEN date them, don't go through a ton of guys you don't really like or find attractive just so you can say you're no longer single. It's pathetic. Grow some balls and be your own person; date people you find attractive both inside and out or don't date at all. What the **** is wrong with being single!?


I agree with you, there's nothing wrong with being single and it makes me upset how some people go out with someone just so they can say "I have a gf/bf" :s-smilie:
It's just that he's a really nice guy so I might get to like him better and I'd hate to regret being lazy as I always am... and I also do want to find someone who I can really fall for and I think it's normal that you like/want that feeling of loving someone and being loved back and being able to be with that person etc. :smile:
I am pretty much the same, if a guy likes me more than I like them then it makes me very uncomfortable. It's like it takes over my mind that I don't fancy them enough to actually want to be with them! And I feel sort of guilty :s-smilie: But as another poster stated, to be in love with someone before starting a relationship is unrealistic. It takes me a long time to properly fall in love with someone but I can easliy go out with them with just fancying them.

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