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I feel like I sabotage myself in relationships Watch

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    I'm so sick of being single, it's been about 10 months now. I'm not being bigheaded or anything but It's not because I look like a goblin or anything. I have had numerous girlfriends in the past and people interested in my recently but I don't see it going anywhere so I don't try.

    I guess it might be my self confidence.. I had a hard time when I was younger which knocked my confidence and now I NEVER approach girls.. literally maybe twice in my life I have? My girlfriends have been friends that sort of went in that direction or just a case of right place at the right time.

    When i'm with somebody I seem to look for any little fault and use it as an excuse not to be with them. I don't think it's fair at all, I know i'm a horrible person for doing it.

    I find myself convincing myself that I like someone to the point it's mutual, then we go out or have sex or something and I just feel sick and claustrophobic and break it off. Before the feminists attack me, I know i'm a **** and it's pathetic, and it's behaviour I can't stop.

    Despite all of this, I'm not a horrible person. It happened recently with a friend and she was very upset when I told her it couldn't go anywhere. I actually felt like I wanted to cry when I saw the look on her face. I hate myself. It's getting me down. A lot. I'm sick of being single now when so many of my friends are getting together with people and I just can't seem to find anybody or when I do I ruin it for myself. Oh, i'm not 18, I turn 23 next year. It's been like this for years now.
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    Ten months isn't that long. Also sounds like a massive phobia of getting hurt; looking for faults basically says to me, "give me an exit so I can dump you before you do it to me!".
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    (Original post by Irrelevance)
    Ten months isn't that long. Also sounds like a massive phobia of getting hurt; looking for faults basically says to me, "give me an exit so I can dump you before you do it to me!".

    I don't know, it's pretty hurtful what i'm doing now. ;|

    I'd like to feel something for somebody for once
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    My sister seems to have this exact thing... Thanks for giving me some more insight

    "I just feel sick and claustrophobic and break it off" - maybe to cure this you could think about it a different way... It's okay to just play around sometimes. But make it clear from the outset that you're not looking for a relationship, and that it's just a bit of fun? Maybe that would help. Then you won't feel like you're stringing people along, and you'll feel more relaxed. It might even turn into something more as you start to feel more relaxed.

    This might be the reason you 'don't feel anything' for anybody. You could, but you choose not to because you're so worried of being hurt, and of hurting them.

    This may be a load of BS, sorry if I've completely missed the mark! :p:
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    Well... I can't really say much other than I totally know how you feel cos I'm pretty much the same and truly suck with relationships and commitment.

    What others have told me though (don't know how truthful it really is in all honesty), is that maybe these people in the past just haven't been right for you and if you did find the right one you wouldn't have to question it.

    Go out of your comfort zone and stop going for friends, would be my advice. Get out and about, meet new people and maybe that'll work for you... And yes I know it's easier said than done .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    Despite all of this, I'm not a horrible person. It happened recently with a friend and she was very upset when I told her it couldn't go anywhere. I actually felt like I wanted to cry when I saw the look on her face. .
    OMG I'm basically the female version of you! i do it aswell and i hate it!
    ive been single for quite long too 8 months now!.. and im not horrible either, and the face that you felt lik eyou wanted to cry shows you have feelings, you just dont know how to use them!

    i feel claustrophobic, and break up with them... its not that i dont like them i just find reasons to end it, and then regret it later...

    what you need to do, as a suggestion maybe.. when you want to break up with a girl, give it a week and see how you feel at the end of that! and then.. if you still feel like ending it, then i guess end it.. good luck
 
 
 
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