My bf and I have just split up last week. We were still texting last week and I saw him on friday, he just randomly appeared, and he told me how he wants to be with me but 'doesnt know'. He has issues with his ex that he needs to resolve (it ended badly), he told me he doesnt want to get back with her or anything, and that Im right for him and that he wants to get over her and Im helping him do so.
He knows already that I want to get back with him but he said he needed to sort his head out, but then he just randomly turned up at my house last friday literally as I was about to leave to go meet my friends to go out. He said it was cos he couldnt bear the thought of me finding someone else. He stayed at mine that night and told me about him wanting to be with me the next day. He says I make him happy.
I told him that we can be together and figure everything ot along the way but then he says 'he doesnt know'. I got annoyed and told him not to contact me until he does cos its giving me false hope. that was on saturday. He text me on sat night, (he had asked if he could during the day and I said yes cos I thought we'd talk some more about everything but he just went on about the night before and how 'it was the most fun he's had in a while'. I replied to a few more of his texts but thought Ive told him I dont like being left in limbo waiting. either we're together or not if he needs time.
I didnt reply to his last text and hes not contacted since/. That was 4 days ago.
Was that the right thing to do do you think? cos I really beginning to miss him, and I was hoping that was what would happen to him too but I scared Im gonna lose him. I mean he knows already how I feel but Im scared cos Ive never gone this long not talking to him, and he's the type of guy who texts lots and calls all the time.
Im trying to move on just in case we dont get back together but cant after what he said about wanting to be with me.
Should I wait til a certain time and then contact him? I dfeel a bit of a hypocrite if I did that though, and he already knows how I feel about him.... if I did, how long should I wait?
any advice would be great thanks!!
Turn on thread page Beta
no contact....is it really worth it? watch
- Thread Starter
- 13-01-2010 21:05
- 13-01-2010 21:13
Personally I wouldnt wait around whilst being messed about by a chick who had ex issues. Leave him be to sort them out first.
- 13-01-2010 21:20
For me, anyone who allows their last relationship to get in the way of their current one with me isn't really worth my time at that point in time. Leave him be, and then if in 2, 3 months or so he's over her and still can't stop thinking about you, he can contact you then. You should move on and act as if you're single, in my opinion, after having a chat with him of course. It sounds cruel, but if you make him happy, why is he still thinking about his ex in such a consuming, destructive way? He needs to sort out his issues, and normally with this kind of thing you can't actually help someone - he needs to sort them out himself.
I hope you feel better OP, but I think the 'no contact until you're sure what you want/are fully emotionally available' route is best. x
- 13-01-2010 21:36
Sounds like he just wants your attention but doesn't actually want to be with you. I'd cut contact with him.
- Thread Starter
- 17-01-2010 17:58
an update: after not hearing from him all week, get a text from him friday night asking if I'm out att he usual place I go and that he was going with his friends and didnt want to ruin my night. I text him saying I was somewhere else and not to be silly that he wouldnt ruin my night and have fun. He text back in a jokey way that he'd only embarrass me if he got drunk blah blah blah.
Then about half 2 he texts asking where I am, I didnt reply cos I thought hed be only after one thing. He sends a few more texts saying that he just wants to see me and that he just wants to talk. He text that if I know I want to see him then he'll wait for me. He calls a few times an hour later when Ive gone back home. I was really upset so didnt answer the first few but calmed down a little and answered finally. He says he's depressed & confused, that this week has been hell for him (no contact). He asked where I was and I told him I was at home, then he said did I want to come to his friends flat in town to talk. I said no cos I was at home. Then he said can I call you back in 10 mins. He sounded like he was about to cry. I answered when he called again cos I was worried, his friend was on his phone and apologised and said he is okay and my ex is gonna stay with him. My ex rang me again about 20 mins later saying repeating everything again. I told him this wasnt the best time to talk about itand he agreed and said we can meet up. I told him I should go cos I heard his friend in the background and I only answered cos I thought he was on his own and that his friend had gone to bed or something. He asked me to stay on the phone and not to go but I felt like I was about to cry and told him that he'll be okay cos his friend is there. Iasked him one last time was he okay and that he sounded better than he didn before and he said he's still feels the same as he did before. He asked if we could talk tomorrow. I told yes.
The next day, he texts sorry if he spoke to me angrily, that he didnt mean to (he didnt), I text saying that I was worried about him & asked if he feels better today. he says he doesn't know.
what does this mean? he seems really messed up. how am I meant to not worry or try and move on now...? his text said he doesn't know, but that he's at his friends safe and hungover. I text back okay, feel better soon. Not heard from him since... any ideas?
My friends think he wasnt sure if I was starting to forget about him last week and he wants me to keep him on my mind by saying all this. any help would be great thanks.Last edited by iffy_girl; 17-01-2010 at 18:10.