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Age Difference

Poll

Age which is acceptable to love someone if your 18 and want a non-sexual relationship

I've read previous threads on this topic and people usually go with the flow of the replys at around 16 years old, but now I'm 18 physically, but I don't see myself as a 18 year old mentally due to lack of social interactions because of social anxiety and depression and feel more like a 14-15 year old physically as well.

This might sound perverted, but I want to assure everyone that I have no sexual feelings towards her at all whatsoever and do not in any way want any physical sex until she turns legal and thats if we do decide to go out.

I've been talking to this girl who is a friend of my friend(s) and I've come to like her. This might sound funny, but I haven't seen her in person, but only her pics on facebook, but when we talk on msn she seems very mature for her age and uses the same sort of language I would use (minimal slang, english). I've found that to be a first in a girl and while talking we have got together very well with topics from snow to any other aspect of life.

The bombshell for me was when I met up with my friends who know her on sunday and we were casually talking when the topic turned to her and how old she was. It turns out, I might need to verify this again properly, shes 12. I assumed at first when looking at her photos she would be around 15 at least, but was wrong. At first this startled me quite a bit as I knew my chances were greatly reduced. I don't really want to let her go as we do get along very well online, and definitely would in person, but the age difference and the stick we would get from people if we do get together seems daunting for both of our sakes. I would like to go out with her mainly because in all my years of living no one actually has paid enough attention to me like she has and its more than just friendly.

So what I want to ask really is what age is the definite minimum if you fall in love (and not a pervert :rolleyes: )? And why is it if 40 year olds go with a 18/20 year old they don't get called perverts or similar (and arn't rich) while we do??

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Reply 1
You do realise even talking to her could be considered grooming and thus illegal.

Dude, stop, now.
Reply 2
Jailbait is a no go area.
Reply 3
Reue
You do realise even talking to her could be considered grooming and thus illegal.

Dude, stop, now.

I did say I'm not looking for a non-sexual relationship etc. I won't know where to begin if i wanted to groom and frankly I dont want to know.
The ages are just madening :eek3:
At the end of the day, you are an adult and she is a child no matter how mature she may seem, she is a minor. An impressionable young child.

I'd feel extremely uncomfortable knowing any of my friends were in contact with a 12 year old girl over the internet. I suggest you leave this well alone and concentrate on meeting people your own age.
Reply 6
flowermaster91
The ages are just madening :eek3:

i didnt go for 16-17 as I knew most people would have chosen it. i'm looking for the minimum age at which it is acceptable.

Again I would like to stress I have no sexual reason to why I want to go out with her but just a simple relationship.

Also some people arn't reading the whole post before posting
Reply 7
Ilora-Danon
At the end of the day, you are an adult and she is a child no matter how mature she may seem, she is a minor. An impressionable young child.

I'd feel extremely uncomfortable knowing any of my friends were in contact with a 12 year old girl over the internet. I suggest you leave this well alone and concentrate on meeting people your own age.

i can easily arrange to meet in person as she knows my friends and I can communicate with her,but with exams this jan, its been difficult to plan everything out
iranair777
i can easily arrange to meet in person as she knows my friends and I can communicate with her,but with exams this jan, its been difficult to plan everything out
Can you hear yourself? Say it out loud 'she's TWELVE YEARS OLD' and then slap yourself really really hard.

Back the **** off. Leave her alone.
Reply 9
She's a child. Even if you did begin a non-sexual relationship with this child, do you not think that over the next few years she is going to change considerably in personality? If I had a 12 year old daughter talking to an 18 year old online, I would be horrified, and probably report you to the police.

Edit: Actually, if I knew who you were, I would report you to the police myself right now so they could keep an eye on you.
Reply 10
Listen mate, one of my best mates only yesterday broke up with his Gf who was 3 years younger than him (she's 14) partially due to the age reason (it was his dad actually who wanted it ended), and it's really not a good situation to be in. If you do like her however, then, I know this isn't what you may not want to here but wait a few years untill she gets a bit older and wont be as bad.

Don't really know what else to say mate...
Reply 11
You 18 her 12? Even if its non sexual its way too creepy
It's just wrong.
Reply 13
15? Perhaps. 12? No way. Pursue other interests.
Reply 14
yu say how ur like a 14-15 yr old then u go on to say she's mature for her age lol
Reply 15
Tuppenny
She's a child. Even if you did begin a non-sexual relationship with this child, do you not think that over the next few years she is going to change considerably in personality? If I had a 12 year old daughter talking to an 18 year old online, I would be horrified, and probably report you to the police.

Edit: Actually, if I knew who you were, I would report you to the police myself right now so they could keep an eye on you.


Not provoking an argument here but he has quite clearly said he is not the type of person who is a pervert. I respect the guy for having the courage to ask for advice here. No one (and I emphasise "No one") can help who they like or fall for.

So Give the lad a break.
Reply 16
It seems that you really like this girl...which is sweet :smile: but to be honest i dont think its morally right. there may be other girls out there who are even more unique..but you've got to be honest with her and mainly urself. my advice would be to just stay as friends...i wouldnt turn it into a proper relationship :smile: hope u make the right choice (Y)
relationship without sex =/= one of my relationships
iranair777
At first this startled me quite a bit as I knew my chances were greatly reduced. I don't really want to let her go as we do get along very well online, and definitely would in person, but the age difference and the stick we would get from people if we do get together seems daunting for both of our sakes. I would like to go out with her mainly because in all my years of living no one actually has paid enough attention to me like she has and its more than just friendly.

So what I want to ask really is what age is the definite minimum if you fall in love (and not a pervert :rolleyes: )? And why is it if 40 year olds go with a 18/20 year old they don't get called perverts or similar (and arn't rich) while we do??


I can't believe you put reduced! But no, no and no again. OP seriously if by the time she is 18 and she still feels the same way then sure try it then.

What is it exactly you want, for people to comfort you and suggest that it is "socially acceptable" for you to have "feelings" for a girl of that age?

Lastly if I saw a 40 year old with a 18 year old, usually I wouldn't think he's such a "classy guy".
Reply 19
Delta7234
Not provoking an argument here but he has quite clearly said he is not the type of person who is a pervert. I respect the guy for having the courage to ask for advice here. No one (and I emphasise "No one") can help who they like or fall for.

So Give the lad a break.


yh totally agree (Y)

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