Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Age Difference watch

Announcements
  • View Poll Results: Age which is acceptable to love someone if your 18 and want a non-sexual relationship
    12
    7
    13.73%
    13
    1
    1.96%
    14
    5
    9.80%
    15
    42
    82.35%

    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    12? :O
    15 prehaps!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I did post what I decided to do above which is to not go ahead with it. It was just a simple question and can't understand why some people are taking it as though I'm going to go after her straight away. I did say that I haven't even mentioned anything about going out and just wanted an opinion before anything does go forward.

    Damn, i'm tired now and going to bed, replies coming from me tomorrow
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by iranair777)
    I've read previous threads on this topic and people usually go with the flow of the replys at around 16 years old, but now I'm 18 physically, but I don't see myself as a 18 year old mentally due to lack of social interactions because of social anxiety and depression and feel more like a 14-15 year old physically as well.

    This might sound perverted, but I want to assure everyone that I have no sexual feelings towards her at all whatsoever and do not in any way want any physical sex until she turns legal and thats if we do decide to go out.

    I've been talking to this girl who is a friend of my friend(s) and I've come to like her. This might sound funny, but I haven't seen her in person, but only her pics on facebook, but when we talk on msn she seems very mature for her age and uses the same sort of language I would use (minimal slang, english). I've found that to be a first in a girl and while talking we have got together very well with topics from snow to any other aspect of life.

    The bombshell for me was when I met up with my friends who know her on sunday and we were casually talking when the topic turned to her and how old she was. It turns out, I might need to verify this again properly, shes 12. I assumed at first when looking at her photos she would be around 15 at least, but was wrong. At first this startled me quite a bit as I knew my chances were greatly reduced. I don't really want to let her go as we do get along very well online, and definitely would in person, but the age difference and the stick we would get from people if we do get together seems daunting for both of our sakes. I would like to go out with her mainly because in all my years of living no one actually has paid enough attention to me like she has and its more than just friendly.

    So what I want to ask really is what age is the definite minimum if you fall in love (and not a pervert :rolleyes: )? And why is it if 40 year olds go with a 18/20 year old they don't get called perverts or similar (and arn't rich) while we do??
    I am sorry but i would advise you to maybe not pursue this any further!! I really liked this guy and is it me or are people looking older than they actually are because i would have said he was around the same age as i am (18) but it turned out he was 14! I am still friends with him but i have made it very clear that nothing is or will go on, he has said will it change when he turns 16 and yes maybe it will but for safety reasons i feel thats best and if we still feel the same way then there you go but just in case be careful and make it clear what your intentions are NOW because it may be too late soon enough, i know you say you don't want a physical relationship or anything but you really don't know!!!! Just my experience and opinion, and she is only 12 that is really young and maybe meet her in person that may be the decision maker!!! So just be careful and i would say that 16 would be a minimum!!! Hope this helps!!!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Wow, I was actually quite shocked when you said she was 12 - I was expecting 14 or something, and the usual 'should I or shouldn't I' question.

    Um, the answer is pretty definitely no, stay well away from any sort of close relationship. Casual friends is ok, but it could start up a whole ****storm to go any further than that. The difference in mental and physical development is massive. In fact, I cannot stress 'no' enough!! Not sure what else to say. Apart from 'no' again!!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    You insist that you 'don't like her in a sexual way' but you want a relationship with her? I don't get it. If you don't like her in that way then your not attracted to her therefore you can just stay friends (still a bit weird in my opinion but I don't know you guys so I won't judge). It sounds to me like you like her personality and stuff so I don't really see why this means you must have a relationship with her, she's still a child.
    Offline

    10
    Even 15 is too young, the ****'s wrong with you
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Sounds like quasi-paedophilia to me.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    lol, obviously its a 12 year old....

    naa....use the rule of hands.....if you can't count her age on your hands...shes too old
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    seriously though, if you just want to be her friend and like/love her in a family (not hillbilly family) type of way, then I don't really see a problem with it....although, others who do not know this may be...dissapproving
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    The key thing with all those dates is that they're illegal :holmes:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm suprised by the number of people who think an 18 year old and a 15 year old is ok. It makes me feel much better about my relationship with a 15 year old (I'm 18). I felt like that was VERY borderline on this sort of issue, but can't deny my feelings, and although I don't think I'd do anything illegal, she is amazing. I met her online as you have, and we've spoken through videochat on skype too. That could be something to consider, if you really want...

    Anyway, I should get to a point... You're 18. That fact wont change, no matter how mature you feel. She's 12, possibly about to turn 13 at best. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and call it a 5 year age gap, thats still well past what's justifiable in my opinion, and I'm on your side with regards to age gap. The maturity or mental compatibility might be there, but the physical differences and the legal difficulties and everything else goes against you.

    I'm sorry to have to agree with the vast majority of posts, but i have to seriously advise you to steer clear. Give it a few years, find maybe a 15-16 year old, 14 at youngest in the meantime. Or even someone your own age, even if you dont feel mature.

    One more thing... Even if you do go ahead with this, I assure you that it wont be accepted very graciously by her family and by society. You'll have to fight a very difficult battle, and to be honest, it's very unlikely to turn out well for either of you.

    Hope you appreciate my opinion on this. good luck.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Was a guy at my school who got together with a 12 year old at age 18 (both in the same school). He also enjoyed playing rugby with 10 year olds. Needless to say he was a ******* pervert.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Year 7 and 8? ..ew. D:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    None Of The Above Y|ou Sick ****!!!!!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Also where do you live ? I tempted to come burn your fukin house down!!!
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Stop trying to practically justify being a paedofile.
    She probably hasn't even had her first period yet!
    Can't you just be like every other guy and think it's 'not cool' to be hanging out with a 12 year old.

    Dirty *******.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    A 12 year old girl with an 18 year old guy???? No. That is just wrong. Period.
    Maybe not for Gary Glitter though. BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER.
    Just try and find someone your own age. Theres plenty of girls out there. Keep away from that CHILD.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    :| however socially detached you are man, I think you should really realise that this is unnaceptable, you shouldnt even need advice. I doubt the girls even hit puberty.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    This is wrong. I am 19 and wouldn't even go out with a 17 year old, let alone a 15 year old. No younger than 18 if I am 18 or over Its just.. a bit sick. Sure, you might be friends with this girl. But nothing else!!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I read the whole post and you need to calm it down abit, you might be getting her hopes up and no eighteen year old needs a twelve year old crushing on them no matter how fr4iendly she may seem!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 22, 2010
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.