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    Basically i haven't a clue whats wrong with me lately.

    My boyfriend is the most amazing person i've ever met and to be honest he's made me so happy. We've only been together 3 months but i'm falling for him so much and i love it. I wouldn't say i'm in love or if i am i haven't realised it yet.

    Anyway the thing is recently i can't help thinking that he isn't being faithful but i have no reason not to trust him. I do trust him i just can't help but think that he might find someone else. I'm like scared to loose him but i know i'm not going to. Unless i carry on being a *****.

    Also i keep having really bad mood swings which i can't control, and sometimes after sex i instantly get angry even though its amazing sex. I don't know what wrong with me. I keep thinking that i should ask him to go on a break but then i think theres no reason to.

    Any advice on what i should do why these mood swings keep occuring how i can stop them and how i can learn to give more trust?
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    Dont ask for a break youll ruin everything! The problem and the answer lies in your skull
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    (Original post by landofunk)
    Dont ask for a break youll ruin everything! The problem and the answer lies in your skull
    It must be deep within my skull then, because i haven't got a clue whats wrong with me. =/
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    I went through this exact problem. Personally, for me it was a massive fear of them realising I wasn't all that and I would be left in pieces should they leave, so, I'd look for an exit to make it easier for me. Unfortunately, they were pretty awesome so I couldn't find a reason. No back up plan meant that all I could do was ponder what my exit's gonna be like.

    How to give them more trust? That's up to you. Not them.
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    (Original post by Unconditional)
    It must be deep within my skull then, because i haven't got a clue whats wrong with me. =/
    What I'm trying to say is that you just have to change the way you're thinking. Just think logically
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    ive been with my bf for over a year and like we lived with each since the day we meet, and i never once wanted to break up, so maybe you should think are you just not wainting to admit to a problem?
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    If you ask him for a break then he'll freak out and might go and do something stupid. Maybe you're feeling a little insecure because you think he's so great? Just an idea. Just talk to him about it and explain how you feel, don't accuse him of cheating though or you could really hurt him. But it might help to build trust.
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    Thanks for the above help, i just feel so angry with him but no explanation why i should be.
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    (Original post by Unconditional)
    Thanks for the above help, i just feel so angry with him but no explanation why i should be.
    As they say, love is irrational. Just don't let your anger get the better of you and you'll be fine.
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    Not entirely sure how helpful it is to advise thinking rationally - if it were always that simple I highly doubt this section would have a purpose.

    It might just be down to insecurity regarding your partner, which will pass with a bit more time together - you'll relax more because you will probably stop doubting that he wants to be with you. However, that might not be the issue. I feel inclined to ask: have you had any relationships before this one? Perhaps one in which your trust was compromised?
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    (Original post by Anglerfish)
    Not entirely sure how helpful it is to advise thinking rationally - if it were always that simple I highly doubt this section would have a purpose.

    It might just be down to insecurity regarding your partner, which will pass with a bit more time together - you'll relax more because you will probably stop doubting that he wants to be with you. However, that might not be the issue. I feel inclined to ask: have you had any relationships before this one? Perhaps one in which your trust was compromised?
    I've had 3 relationships before this one, but they was different. The trust was fine with the others but that was mainly because i didn't feel this way about them. I just 'liked' them. They didn't mean that much to be tbh. I'm falling for my current boyfriend alot so i don't understand because i know he feels the same, even more so.
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    I think you're just annoyed because you're falling for him, and you want to tell him but feel like you can't. And that's probably why you're having the trust issues, because you're scared of losing him.
    I don't think you actually want a break, I think you're just trying to distance yourself from him, because you're scared incase he doesn't feel the same way about you, than you feel about him.
    But hey, maybe I'm completely wrong.
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    (Original post by Unconditional)
    I've had 3 relationships before this one, but they was different. The trust was fine with the others but that was mainly because i didn't feel this way about them. I just 'liked' them. They didn't mean that much to be tbh. I'm falling for my current boyfriend alot so i don't understand because i know he feels the same, even more so.
    Then it probably is down to how serious the relationship is getting. No-one wants a good thing to be spoiled or to come to an end, so we tend to get very protective of it. Even if it means distancing yourself from or being suspicious of your partner.

    I somewhat doubt that a break will do any good - it might give him the wrong impression, and what a self-fulfilling prophecy that could turn out to be! The best course of action is probably to avoid thinking about it when you can and just try to relax when you cannot - casually make sure you know what he is up to, et cetera.

    To what extent have you discussed this issue with him?
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    (Original post by Anglerfish)
    Then it probably is down to how serious the relationship is getting. No-one wants a good thing to be spoiled or to come to an end, so they are going to be protective of it. Even if it means distancing yourself from or being suspicious of your partner.

    I somewhat doubt that a break will do any good - it might give him the wrong impression, and what a self-fulfilling prophecy that could turn out to be! The best course of action is probably to avoid thinking about it too much and just take it slow - casually make sure you know what he is up to, et cetera.

    To what extent have you discussed this issue with him?
    I've told him how i feel as in how much i'm falling for him. I could probably understand my mood swings and being paranoid if i got the impression he didn't feel the same way, but i know he does he tells me more than i tell him. He's expressed how he feels to me over and over again because i keep doubting how he feels. I think the main reason i don't believe that he feels the same way because about a year and a half ago he split with his ex who he was with for 2 and half years and i have it in my head that he must still love her if he was with her that long even thought he's expressed how much he doesn't and that he's never felt this way about anyone.

    I've explained to him about my mood swings and i don't know where there coming from. I haven't mentioned a break to him but he mentioned to me earlier that he thought i was going to break up with him because of the way i've been lately.
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    Having a break doesn't really work
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    (Original post by Unconditional)
    I've told him how i feel as in how much i'm falling for him. I could probably understand my mood swings and being paranoid if i got the impression he didn't feel the same way, but i know he does he tells me more than i tell him. He's expressed how he feels to me over and over again because i keep doubting how he feels. I think the main reason i don't believe that he feels the same way because about a year and a half ago he split with his ex who he was with for 2 and half years and i have it in my head that he must still love her if he was with her that long even thought he's expressed how much he doesn't and that he's never felt this way about anyone.

    I've explained to him about my mood swings and i don't know where there coming from. I haven't mentioned a break to him but he mentioned to me earlier that he thought i was going to break up with him because of the way i've been lately.
    Make sure you know the details of their break up if it will help, unless you know them already. The strength of the feelings between two people cannot necessarily be gauged by how long they were together - two and a half years is a while, but they might not have been particularly happy and, seeing how the relationship is over, something must have been wrong between them. If he is saying that what he has with you is different, I doubt he would attempt to deceive you - he stands to gain nothing from doing so. If he wanted to be with his ex-girlfriend, it is unlikely that he would enter a new relationship and take it as seriously as he is with you.

    I hope this helps a little.
 
 
 
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