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Boyfriend down and it's putting a big strain on our relationship watch

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    Hi,

    I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and we've been at uni together for the past year. At school he was really sociable, was one of the sporty guys at school so was popular and had loads of friends, did well at school and seemed really happy. I was really attracted to him for how chilled he was about everything.

    But since coming to uni I realised he's changed a lot. We're in different halls and I was much luckier, found an amazing group of close friends who are all really fun whereas he was less lucky with the people at his halls. He got jealous of all the guys I was friends with and the attention I get when we go on nights out - these things never bothered him at all before. He got really down about the workload and his course and how ambitious everyone is (we're at a very high pressure uni).

    He gets angry and says I put my friends above him (which I don't - I see him on his own quite a bit) and says that if it wasn't for me he would want to drop out of uni and this obviously puts a huge strain on our relationship. I don't how to help him cheer up. He's never been remotely like this before and although he admits he's probably a bit depressed he was horrified at the suggestion I gave that he go and chat to someone about it - like a counsellor or gp or whatever. And maybe he's right, maybe it's not that serious.

    But it feels like he puts all his energy and upset into our relationship and it's too much pressure. I love him but I can't cope feeling guilty when I see my friends and I want him to be happy so that he doesn't rely on me so much. Any ideas? Thanks
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    Does he get on well with your friends? If so why not just bring him along with them and thus he gains a new set of friends and is happier, and you both spend more time together.
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by matt608)
    Does he get on well with your friends? If so why not just bring him along with them and thus he gains a new set of friends and is happier, and you both spend more time together.
    Yeah I know that seems the obvious solution but I think it makes him feel pathetic for not having his own friends. The halls system at uni means that a hall is quite compact unit so although it sounds really immature they're "my" friends and the only link he has with them is me. He would never meet up with them of his own accord or anything. and I think it's important for people to have friends they can do that with!

    It would also aggravate the problem of him being reliant on me. I want to feel that if we broke up he would be ok and would have a network of people to support him (I DON'T want to break up but that's the easiest way I can explain the dependent thing).
 
 
 
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