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Is what I did unforgiveable? watch

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    :facepalm: How much could 10 months together have meant if you just do that? Surprised he took you back after that, and I'm not surprised hes bringing up what happened.

    It IS your fault for ruining it, and you should probably end it now for the benefit of both of you, you can't make someone forgive you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    After ten months of being together, me and my boyfriend had a huge row last October over something silly in which I dumped him. That night I went out with my friends, got really drunk and ended up pulling someone.

    The next day he called me and we got back together, and I told him straight away that I had pulled someone the night before. He went crazy but we eventually sorted it out and moved on.

    However, since then, if I ever want to go out without him, he gets really, really moody with me and brings up what happened in October, saying the thought of me going out just "reminds him" of what happened back then. It's four months later and everytime I want to go out, it becomes an issue.

    Today he actually said on the phone that he doesn't know if he can ever forgive me for it, and that it's all my fault for ruining what we had. Is what I did really that terrible when we had broken up?! I want so much to be with him but how can I convince him that it will work?
    If he had dumped you and you had pulled someone then he wouldn't have a leg to stand on. However, you dumping him and then sleeping with someone else almost instantly just makes it look like you dumped him for some fresh meat.
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    We Were On A Break!
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    personally i couldn't be with someone after that...

    However i guess if he wants to be with you then that is his choice. However, regardless of what you did, you also have a right to be happy and there is no point in being in a relationship without trust. I think you need to talk to him and tell him that you will not cheat and you want him to stop bringing it up in arguments. If he doesn't and it is really bothering you then dump him and move on!?

    At the end of the day, it doesnt matter who has done right or wrong, it is what it is and you both need to either move on or split up.
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    I'm so happy people saw the connection to friends... Hehe.

    I am rather unsure; you said you actually BROKE UP with him; which would indicate you didn't really expect to get back together with him again. Which would make it reasonable [though rather stupid] to pull someone.

    However, I don't think that if he is completely unable to forgive you [and has said this to you outright], there is any way to salvage a healthy, trusting relationship again.

    I would have forgiven you, if you had done everything in your power to show you love you loved me. [theoretically speaking...]
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    I can sort of understand his fear simply because you're going back to your 'location of infidelity'. If you were with another guy at the gym or he was with another girl on a business trip, it would make him a little edgy every time you went back to the gym and you'd probably feel the same every time he went on a business trip. For example.

    Technically you didn't cheat or do anything unforgiveable (in my opinion), but you moved on pretty damn quick, and every time you go to a club without him, you remind him of that. If he gets grumpy everytime you speak to another guy or if you have to work in groups with boys at school or something, then yeah, I'd agree he's being silly, but I understand the club thing.

    Talk to him. Tell him you were hurt when you had your split and just did it without thinking. Reassure him that it's not something that you'd do while you're still in a relationship. And let him know that a big part of relationships is trust and if he can't trust you, or at least if he can't pretend to trust you and stop making you feel guilty every time you go to a club, then perhaps getting back together wasn't the right thing to do for the moment and he needs a bit of time to get over it all. Alone.
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    (Original post by meskell)
    If he had dumped you and you had pulled someone then he wouldn't have a leg to stand on. However, you dumping him and then sleeping with someone else almost instantly just makes it look like you dumped him for some fresh meat.
    Yeah that's true. Thought they had agreed together to split!
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    i think he should forgive u, i mean a few hours after is a bit bad but then again u were a free lady it obv didnt mean anything it was prob just something to get over the pain..he shouldnt hold it against u tell him this and hopefully he will come to his senses and realise what u did wasnt to hurt him x
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    To be fair, you'd just broken up with him so you were under no relationship contract (as it were) to not go sleeping around. He should be able to see this as a fact. If he can't accept that at times you'd like to go out on your own and considering that he feels he can't forgive you is it really a good idea to be going out with him at all? It doesn't seem like such a functional or loving relationship. Are you just going out with him still because you like the convenience of having a boyfriend?
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    (Original post by rachel10)
    i think he should forgive u, i mean a few hours after is a bit bad but then again u were a free lady it obv didnt mean anything it was prob just something to get over the pain..he shouldnt hold it against u tell him this and hopefully he will come to his senses and realise what u did wasnt to hurt him x
    Think of it this way.

    1) Your boyfriend dumps you
    2) He runs out and sleeps with a girl
    3) You get back with him
    4) He tells you he slept with some girl in the intervening 15 hours.

    What would your reaction be? And why does it look like he dumped you?
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    I forgive you.
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    Unforgiveable.
    Dirty ****.
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    (Original post by meskell)
    Think of it this way.

    1) Your boyfriend dumps you
    2) He runs out and sleeps with a girl
    3) You get back with him
    4) He tells you he slept with some girl in the intervening 15 hours.

    What would your reaction be? And why does it look like he dumped you?
    that is a good point your right.. i never thought of it that way... i myself would not forgive him i would be really hurt but if you love someone that much then u might be able to forgive...its each person to their own...u make the decisions in life x
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    Something similar happened with my ex (except it was after a few weeks, and we weren't on a break :facepalm: oh, and he did the same :rolleyes: great relationship this was.)

    He never forgave me and ended up being incredibly clingy and possessive of me. I looked through my chat logs the other day and I told him that I was going out with a friend, and he MADE me PROMISE that I wasn't going to be anywhere near alcohol :eek:

    Point being, make sure the same doesn't happen to you. Fair enough that he's a bit edgy around you going on a night out, but don't let him stop you :no:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    After ten months of being together, me and my boyfriend had a huge row last October over something silly in which I dumped him. That night I went out with my friends, got really drunk and ended up pulling someone.

    The next day he called me and we got back together, and I told him straight away that I had pulled someone the night before. He went crazy but we eventually sorted it out and moved on.

    However, since then, if I ever want to go out without him, he gets really, really moody with me and brings up what happened in October, saying the thought of me going out just "reminds him" of what happened back then. It's four months later and everytime I want to go out, it becomes an issue.

    Today he actually said on the phone that he doesn't know if he can ever forgive me for it, and that it's all my fault for ruining what we had. Is what I did really that terrible when we had broken up?! I want so much to be with him but how can I convince him that it will work?

    TBF he is right..........
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    (Original post by Jeester)
    Unforgiveable.
    Dirty ****.
    YES MATE !!!
 
 
 
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