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How to break up nicely? watch

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    I'm thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend of 3 months.
    Because I think the "spark" which wasn't ever really strong has just fizzled out. Even though I'm not sure because I'm really going to miss him so I'm not sure if it's just me not putting enough effort in.
    But he's so nice! And we have tons of mutual friends and I'm terrified of hurting him.
    How do I break up nicely and hopefully remain friends?

    And I know there's no nice way, I've been dumped before and it sucks, I'd just like it to be as painless as possible because he seems to like me a lot more than I like him.
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    Bumpity Bump.
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    just tell him your feeling's in person. No one can be mad at you for speaking how you really feel. Good luck
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    TELL HIM THE TRUTH

    seriously I hate a girl that lies, lying is worse than 'trying to be nice' so whatever you do, just say you don't think it's going to work out rather than a BS excuse.
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    This happened with my friend and her boyfriend. she broke up with him over a week ago and now she misses him SOO much! She wants him back but he doesn't know anymore.
    What she did was met him, and said she thought things just wasn't the same anymore. Apparently he burst out crying and hugged her for about 10 minutes.
    If you break it to him nicely, and then realise in time to come you really miss him.. he may take you back. Just say what you said on here theres not spark..
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    "It's not you, it's me"

    Does the job everytime, and because everybody thinks it's a cliche nobody uses it...which is why when you use it it'll seem all the more true :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Katherineeee.)
    This happened with my friend and her boyfriend. she broke up with him over a week ago and now she misses him SOO much! She wants him back but he doesn't know anymore.
    What she did was met him, and said she thought things just wasn't the same anymore. Apparently he burst out crying and hugged her for about 10 minutes.
    If you break it to him nicely, and then realise in time to come you really miss him.. he may take you back. Just say what you said on here theres not spark..
    Oh god! I don't know what I'll do if he cries.
    I just think he could find someone better who could really fall for him.
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    (Original post by Smiles_m)
    Oh god! I don't know what I'll do if he cries.
    I just think he could find someone better who could really fall for him.
    Aww. It wouldn't be nice to see him cry, but you can't have a relationship with someone if you felt no feelings for them. Just isn't fair really. He will understand maybe if you just remain friends it will all be fineeeeee
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    I know exactly how you feel ... I'm dating one of my best friends and although we are at a good place in the relationship, it does worry me that if anything happened we wouldn't be friends any more.

    Tell your boyfriend the truth. Tell him (gently) that you don't think the relationship is working any more and that the "spark" has died. But make sure you let him know that you still really care about him as a friend.

    Good luck
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    Tell him you're ready to start a family before getting on one knee, presenting him an engagement ring and proposing marriage. He'll dump you.
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    good luck remaining friends if he's really into you. it just won't work cause he'll still like you. Only time can heal that. Things will be different, this is why you don't date close friends if you can avoid it! Not saying it's impossible but it's very unlikely.
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    Be very clear, dont let there be any ambiguity in what you are saying. Give him as much space as he needs, it wont just slide straight back into a normal friendship. Be honest and truthful, make sure he understands why you are doing it and that it is actually over.
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    talk to him in person, tell him how you feel but don't give bs excuses which girls normally give
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    (Original post by EmiPark)
    If you really didn't want to hurt him, you'd stay with him and give him all the love you possibly could. Don't lie, you're not that bothered about hurting him, you just don't want to look bad.
    Whats with the incredibly unrealistic selfless ideals? The OP trying to be considerate, yeah ok he may be a bit hurt but at least she's trying to evoke some damage limitation. Give her a bloody break.
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    Have you tried talking to him first? Maybe there is a solution to whatever this problem is. If there's not a solution, tell him you think you two should go on a break from each other for a while and see how you feel about that. That way if you decide you want him back, the door might still be open. :]
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    (Original post by EmiPark)
    Give her a break? You've got to be kidding me. She wants to break up with a guy and still remain friends with him, anyone that selfish deserves no breaks.



    Who gave me bad rep??? Lol...you're so pathetic. "You absolute fool, how can someone be with someone they DON'T LOVE - you can't force love - and it's not your choice. It has nothing to do with not wanting to hurt them, which is just being nice."

    Lots of people are with people who they don't love! Like parents, who stay together for their childs....selfless parents anyway!. You wouldn't mind if the guy had done something to hurt her, you'd think she'd have the decency to stay til he does; and if the 'spark' isn't there then I'm sure he'll do something sooner or later. She isn't even sure she wants to leave him, hence why she wants to stay friends with him. She is selfish.
    I agree with who gave you neg rep. If you were truly selfless you'd be looking after homeless people right now instead of being on TSR! You are ridiculous and evidently have no life experiences!

    And no I know people who go through hell because their parents stay together and argue or physically fight. That's not being selfless, it's not in the best interests of their child.

    And no he wouldn't break up with me. I broke up with him on Friday, he seemed upset but was really nice about it. And of course I still want to be friends with him! I've never felt meaner in my life but I really care about him.

    You make me so angry! Everyone is selfish. Even buying yourself a sandwhich in Boots is selfish! You could say you should give it to a homeless person and that would be selfless. Do you have any relationships with people? Or is your view of the world too warped to have any?
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    you did say three months not 3 years right? its not that long a time in the grand scheme of things! im sure he will get over it, young love is always so naive and when one moves on to the next relationship everyone realies
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    how about....its not you, its me
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    (Original post by Polly1101)
    you did say three months not 3 years right? its not that long a time in the grand scheme of things! im sure he will get over it, young love is always so naive and when one moves on to the next relationship everyone realies
    Thankss he's really nice and he wants to be friends.
    And it was months not years! Lol.
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    (Original post by EmiPark)
    I never said I wasn't selfish lol I have no life experiences? I think I have even to know that there is a difference between natural selfishness and self absorbed selfishness. I thought that went without saying? It's human nature to be selfish, but a lot of people push the limits and do selfish things that aren't needed, which equals to 'selfish'.

    Yes, I know people who go through hell because their parents fight because they stay together....I'm one of them! They didn't stay together for their kids though...

    Like I said, I never said I wasn't selfish. And being selfless doesn't mean being stupid and allowing people to walk all over you. We aren't talking about homeless people. We was talking about you breaking up with your boyfriend for some reason that I can't remember.

    Yup, I have had lots of relationships, friendships and what not with all sorts of people...hence why I think like I do.

    Why do you even bother getting a boyfriend when you know one day you're going to break up with him? No, you'll carry on going out with people, knowing one day you'll break up with them. You're ******* temporary....
    The reason is that I see him as a friend, and if it went on any longer we would have ruined any chance of a friendship. And if I didn't break up with him then he'd be selfish for staying with me.

    How did I know one day I would break up with him? Am I a psychic, tell me please, do I have a crystal ball? For all I knew when we started going out we could have stayed together forever.

    I am not pushing the limits of being selfish. We treated each other well and it had fizzled out and I'd deliberated over it for weeks, to the point where I asked strangers on the internet for advice (thanks everyone).

    So do you bother going out with anyone? Do you decide to remain single just incase you break up with them and cause either party hurt? If that's your view then I'm sure you've never really lived at all. Grow up and get real.
 
 
 
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