How to break up nicely?

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Can I just add EmiPark I did not come here looking to be judged.
I did not come here looking for someone such as yourself to vent their own opinions to me.
I came here for advice, and I got someone from everyone here but you.

Reply 21

Smiles_m

EmiPark

You didn't know...unless you've had a boyfriend before that you've broken up with. Now you do know there is a chance you'll break up with a guy in the future, will you still get another boyfriend?

I don't understand how you stopped loving(?) him if he did nothing wrong.

It's a little bit different with me. I have been in relationships but I don't label our selves as bf/gf.

Lol, grow up? No thanks, I'm happy like this. You carry on being an 'adult'. Get real? Already am. Getting real, would be understanding that relationships are temporary.

And I did give you advice, I said if you didn't want to hurt him then don;t break up with him. Don't say it isn't advice just because you didn't agree with it or want to do it. :woo:

Edit- I also find it surprising he found you breaking up with him okay? Did he feel the same way as you?

You are rude. Breaking up with someone is always awful, no matter how both parties feel.

But I honestly truly don't believe I could have been any nicer about it.

And I am wondering what has happened in your life to make you be so judgemental about a 17 year old who you have never met and know nothing about.

Reply 22

Smiles_m

EmiPark

How am I rude??? I was being completely civil, get off your high horse.

I'm judging you by your actions that you write on the internet, hence I do actually know something about you.

Let's see here, I called you 'selfish' and 'temporary' based on facts and actions you have commited....you have called me 'ridiculous', 'evidently have no life experiences' 'Do you have any relationships with people?' 'your view of the world too warped to have any' 'If that's your view then I'm sure you've never really lived at all.' 'Grow up and get real.'

Who is really the judgmental oneone who has nothing to judge me on? Hmmm...

I asked for advice, on how to minimise this hurting the feelings of someone I do care about.
You didn't give me that.

I will admit that I do disagree fundamentally with you saying that breaking up with someone is always selfish.

I know I will never fall in love with him, and to stay with him would be denying him the chance of ever falling for anybody ever and having a connection with someone that I doubt I will ever have.

My

Reply 23

Tombola

Smiles_m

I agree with who gave you neg rep. If you were truly selfless you'd be looking after homeless people right now instead of being on TSR! You are ridiculous and evidently have no life experiences!

And no I know people who go through hell because their parents stay together and argue or physically fight. That's not being selfless, it's not in the best interests of their child.

And no he wouldn't break up with me. I broke up with him on Friday, he seemed upset but was really nice about it. And of course I still want to be friends with him! I've never felt meaner in my life but I really care about him.

You make me so angry! Everyone is selfish. Even buying yourself a sandwhich in Boots is selfish! You could say you should give it to a homeless person and that would be selfless. Do you have any relationships with people? Or is your view of the world too warped to have any?

Curious, I'm in a similar situation and wanted to hear your views. When you say you still care about him? What exactly do you mean? Close close friends or more sort of casual friends...?

Otherwise I'm often a little wary of staying friends with them since it'll probably make things harder for them to move on.

Reply 24

scribble_girl

I was in an identical situation (well, almost) when I was seventeen... I'd been dating a friend of mine for three months and then realised all the warm fuzziness was friendship, not love. We broke up when a load of us were round at a friends... we went off for a walk in the park together, just us two, and we stayed out there until I'd made him realise it just wasn't working. He cried... yeah, I felt awful. But the good thing about going back to the friends' house after was that he went off and talked to some of our friends (bitching about how evil I was, most likely) - but I let him. I think the key here is letting yourself be painted as the bad guy. I'm not saying martyr yourself, but if he mouths off about how you led him on or whatever, just kind of leave it. Don't get dragged in. It's better for him, and it makes you look more mature with the mutual friends. Be kind but firm if he brings it up, and let him get over it in his own time, making it clear that when he feels ready, you're still there for him as a friend if he likes. Basically, just hand all the power over to him and trust/hope that he'll make the right decision and keep you in his life as a friend.

Reply 25

Smiles_m

Tombola

I want to keep him as a close friend.
He wants to go back to being friends straight away, but I agree, it's harder to move on. I'm trying to keep my distance but still be friendly :smile: