Never felt so alone :(

I came to uni with my boyfriend of two years and so far we havn't had a great time. Despite living in the same city we don't see each other as much and when we do we argue, niether of us have really made any proper friends and we sort of lost the spark. In October I thoyght about us going back home as we weren't enjoying it but him and my parents made me see that I would really regret that as I love the university and the course and the city and it's just what I'm making of the whole thing that is wrong. But in November my boyfriend said he wanted to go home and that he really meant it. We talked and sorted it out and nothing more was said.

Anyway over christmas we ended up braking up in a argument and didn't speak for a week. Then he came round and told me how sorry he was and that he cant believe he said what he sais etc and we sort of got back together. But then he told me that he wasn;t coming back to university with me he was moving back home and applying to a local uni and that we'd try long distance. I'm completly devestated tbh :frown:

I drove up to uni which is 3 hours away and I'm sat here all alone feeling really lonely. The place is so quiet maybe everyone is revising for exams I haven;t seen any of my flatmates yet, not that it would be any use as I havn't exactly made an effort with them in the past. I have sort of friends from seminars that I've been out with a few times on society nights out but my boyfriend always came as well. I really don't know what to do. I just want to pack my things back up and drive home again. Things between my boyfriend and I will probobaly never be the same again after this not that it matters anyway because he's 3 hours away but I have nobody up here at all. Everyone has settled into where they belong here and I'm starting afresh all over again.

I know this is all my own fault but I just needed to write all this down I guess, sorry it's so long.

Reply 1

lilsgeru

i completely know where you're coming from, you must miss your bf alot. i havent really made any good friends in uni either, they are just casual ones..
just put a bit more effort in with your flatmates, smile at them and they will back :smile:

and maybe phone your bf just to talk, it will probably make you feel better - he probs still cares for you even though you say that things wont be the same

Reply 2

Of the Standard of Taste

It's good to get it off your chest.

Reply 3

HyperGiant

I recognise this situation because I am kind of in it myself, except there is nothing back home for me (other than my gf who I hardly see when I come here anyway cause of her exams). Also all casual friends, no one I can really talk to. On the bright side your bf is in the same city, mine is in a different country. Enough crap about me.

Anyway I think you should try and become closer with the people from your lectures and seminars. After a few small chats to and from seminars or whatever ask what they are doing for lunch, or ask if you can add them on fb. Then just build up the friendships online and in person and find things you have in common with them.

Unless your bf is really special and you are serious I would consider dumping him. If you have lost the spark and you argue you might be better off single and look to find someone else. Also see if you can find common ground with your flat mates, and people in your societies. Stay at uni. If you are enjoying your course then you should stick to it, I think if you leave you will regret it.

Sorry for the poor advice, nothing amazing to change your situation in here but I felt compelled to try.

Goodluck

Reply 4

Su_x

You can't blame yourself for whats happened.. but this is actualy so sad :frown:

i feel for u .. i know its hard. It probs hurts and feels so much worse because its quite fresh, and as u said people arent around because of exams, and i'm sure if u start making an more of an effort with your flatmates and get to know more people in your dorm, then you'll start feeling like yourself again.
I don't really know what else to say, but i hope things get better :console:

Reply 5

EsherK3

Do what HyperGiant suggests. I left my uni cos I wasn't living in halls in the first year, so didn't really make many friends (I think the people you live with are easier to befriend than those you go to lessons with, coming from a boarding school), therefore it was really crap for me. It's more difficult to make friends with the people in lectures cos you mainly see them during the day, and there's not much time to talk in lectures, except between them briefly. The guys in your halls are there in the 'socialising hours' in the evenings, plus on the weekends when you don't go into uni to learn, you're with them. Also, you need to make friends for your 2nd year when you get kicked out of halls and need some friends to live with in a massive student house :smile:

Baaaaaaasically, make friends with the people in your halls, but failing that, then it'll all go to pot and you won't really have a good time.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Thanks for the advice and nice words. I'm just hoping I can find some people that I like soon so I wont feel so lonely. I put almost everything into me and my boyfriend and now that this has happened I'm paying for it because I havn't built up any friendships which I could really do with now! I can see the positive side of it because now i wont make this mistake again and I'll be having more of a student experience but right now I just can't see it happening. What if I make an effort but still find myself without anyone to go out with on a night out or anything to go shopping or just hang out with. I wish this had happened in the summer before we moved up here. Long distance might have worked then but now it seems like just too much has happened.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

It sounds like you went to that University for your boyfriend..maybe you put too much into something that wasn't worth it all..you should think about yourself and your future now.

Reply 8

EsherK3

Ah, I see...you were putting effort into your bf, so you didn't really socialise with flatmates, and now that he's ****** off, you've got no-one.
If you don't find anyone to "go out with on a night out or anything to go shopping or just hang out with", then you'll be screwed, tbh.
So get off of your ass and get out there talking with people!

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Anonymous

It sounds like you went to that University for your boyfriend..maybe you put too much into something that wasn't worth it all..you should think about yourself and your future now.

It was the other way around - I guess that's why I'm here and he's at home. There was always 3 unis that i wanted to go to, we went to visit a lot of unis on open days but I really liked the one I'm at, talked to him and he seemed to really like it as well. He never said anything against it but I'm thinking now that he probobaly didn't want to move so far away. I should have realised this.

Anyway, I've applied for a couple of internships with I'm quite excited about so if I get into one of those it might help take my mind off it. I want to do something about it but i don't really know what to do.

I just feel lost and deflated and like nothing will make it better right now. And I'm annoyed at myself for being such a miserable grump.