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    #1

    Ok, So I am nearly turning 19 and I am really confused about loosing my virginity. To be honest I always wanted to loose it to that "Special person" But I realised that I never know if I will ever meet this special person ! I don't think I can wait much longer, but I really don't want to regret anything!
    I met a very respectable nice genuine guy, good looking, smart and nice body!
    However, I am not attracted to him in that way as I find him a bit boring!
    I get quite emotionaly attached when I really like a guy and it takes a long time for me to get over someone if I have really liked them!
    Which makes me ask................
    Should I just loose my virginity to someone I am not emotionaly attached to so I don't end up getting heartbroken?
    Or should I wait for a guy who I really fancy and want to be with?
    But if he then broke up with me or there were complications I know I would be heartbroken because these things are important to me....
    Please help
    • #2
    #2

    well if you waited for someone special.. and thing did get complicated at least you two shared something special But if you dont want to wait and get it over and done with. It's your choice

    You might think you wont feel like you lost anything speical but it is to anyone. I think..
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    It's not a question anyone can give you a universal answer to, because the situation is so subjective. It really all depends on you, whether you think losing your virginity is something special, your views on non-serious relationship sex etc.

    Personally I lost my virginity drunk out of my mind in Ibiza to a girl 7 years older, so not very romantic. But I'm the kind to not really give a ****, as I don't think sex is anything special beyond a splendid way to feel good, and I don't believe the chronology of sex is important whatsoever.

    However, a lot of people feel differently and I have several friends who have had bad experiences losing theirs too early.

    So just think long and hard about whether you think virginity is special, what sex means to you and especially what that guy means to you. Then make your decision based on that, not what people on here will say. That's the best anyone can tell you.
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    Just go for it, no ones going to judge you and you dont feel any different afterwards..really.

    Also, its 'losing', not 'loosing'

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    yeah, but didn't you figure out that the boring ordinary guy might also break yr heart, he may behave like a fat pig, or insult you, or whatever: he isn't "safer" to you heart than the 'unique' beloved guy that you're waiting for ; !!
    besides, the opposite is true: meeting a guy you really fancy doesn't necessarily mean you will end heart broken girl ! it may actually work and last longer than you thought : it can be a real 'love story';

    however, i am in the same situation as you are, and it's too hard to wait for 'that' special guy: my hormones and my body cannot wait any longer !!!!! so i guess am just gonna do it with the next "good looking & smart guy" , at only one condition: that we respect and trust each other !!! jthat would guive me the affection i need and also relief my physical need :woo:

    good luck, and keep us posted about how things r going for u





    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok, So I am nearly turning 19 and I am really confused about loosing my virginity. To be honest I always wanted to loose it to that "Special person" But I realised that I never know if I will ever meet this special person ! I don't think I can wait much longer, but I really don't want to regret anything!
    I met a very respectable nice genuine guy, good looking, smart and nice body!
    However, I am not attracted to him in that way as I find him a bit boring!
    I get quite emotionaly attached when I really like a guy and it takes a long time for me to get over someone if I have really liked them!
    Which makes me ask................
    Should I just loose my virginity to someone I am not emotionaly attached to so I don't end up getting heartbroken?
    Or should I wait for a guy who I really fancy and want to be with?
    But if he then broke up with me or there were complications I know I would be heartbroken because these things are important to me....
    Please help
    • #3
    #3

    Sex seems to be different levels of special to different people. So I think I can only offer my own perspective/experience and hope that's useful.

    My experience with losing my virginity:

    I didn't really think about the circumstances in which I'd lose it. I didn't think "I must save it for someone reallly special" but I wouldn't have lost it to someone I didn't have an emotional connection with either. Virginity, to me is not a big deal, but having sex (whether it's the 1st or the 100th time) I think I would only want to do with someone I at least trusted/liked.

    I don't really go out to drunken parties so much so it's not like I even had the opportunity for friendly-stranger sex anyway :p:

    I got a proper boyfriend and about 2 months in we had sex. I felt pretty comfortable/not used with this. We had sex because of desperate horniness and wanting to do it :p: and I wanted it as bad as him.
    And we stayed together and he's the only person I've slept with.

    I guess I might have felt a bit of regret if he'd ditched me a week after or something, but if we broke up now (like a year later) then I wouldn't regret my choice. Virginity isn't so special. I'm the same person.


    If I were you.. I would just see how it goes. Worry about sex once you have a boyfriend I guess (I just think that's the easiest and kinda.. I dunno most natural way to get sex. Find partner, get sex :p: )

    But if you want to have sex before having a relationship than that's your choice and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Remember though this guy isn't just an object for you to have sex with :p: I'm sure he has some of his own opinions on the matter. Maybe he doesn't want to have sex without a relationship and maybe it would hurt him he's just been used as a virginity-stripper :p: But then again maybe he wouldn't give a damn.
    • #4
    #4

    I think you'd regret loosing your virginity just for the sake of it. I was dumped a month ago by the guy I lost my virginity to. We were together for 3 years and i dont regret it at all because I loved him and we had so many wonderful times together (in and out of bed!) Loose it to someone special and if you end up braking up well you'll be so upset - but that upset would be just as much whether you'd had sex or not. Do you want to go through life not having relationships with people you have sexual and emotional connections with just because you're scared of having you heart broken? As the saying goes it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all - and in me experience it really is true.
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    LOSE it to whoever you like.
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    More people say "I wish I'd waited", though not many say "I wish I'd lost my virginity earlier".

    Personally I had a boyfriend for 7 months because I wanted to trust the person and it was something new/special for both of us.

    I wouldn't lose it 'for the sake of it', but if you meet someone you quite like & connect with, and wouldn't mind if that was the only time you slept with them, then go for it :mmm:
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    Hey Guys!
    Thank you all for your positive messages and good advice!
    I am seeing that guy tomorrow!
    Will give you all feed back
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    The whole 'losing my virginity to someone special' is overrated. Its just sex.
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    In a way I agree with you sbarrie2 because like I said you never know if you will ever meet this "special person".....
    Therefore I have decided that if the guy is respectful and I am attracted to him then I will just go for...I nolonger have this expectationsof being swept of my feet etc etc its just not realistic and doesn't happen very often
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    I'm 19, been in situations MANY times were I could have loosen my virginity.
    It's going to someone special and I'll stick by that.
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    Can I ask you, what difference does it make if you do it with this guy, or if you waited a few more months for someone you trust? What harm will another few months do? Are you THAT desperate to lose your virginity that you'll do it with some guy you don't really care about?

    How would you feel if you lost your virginity to this guy, then a few months later you meet an amazing guy who becomes special to you? Would you wish then that you'd waited or would it not make any difference?

    Just something to consider. I waited until I was 23 - I randomly met the most amazing guy who I very quickly fell deeply in love with. I'd be gutted if I'd lost my virginity to someone who I didn't care for and then met him. I'm glad I lost it with my bf, and I'm proud that I'd waited for someone I really care about and who cares about me.
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    I haven't read this thread but I've always thought the term "losing your virginity" was such a sad reflection of the way that female sexuality is often viewed. I want to feel as if I'm gaining something, not losing it.
 
 
 
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