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I am a pedophile

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Just for this thread

The genetic make that makes him more likely to kill. Are you suggesting that peoples genetics should be analyzed at birth, and those with a make up that makes them likely to kill, or be a peadophile should be discarded then and there?

and i don't have possession of child porn, and have never downloaded or bought any.

Are you stupid? There is no evidence for these made up genes that you are talking about.

You just said you watched child porn. Indecent images of children is illegal.

Yeah I know a mod here, so I'm going to get your ip address and report you to where ever that address points to.

Reply 21

Just for this thread

DJkG.1

I genuinely feel sorry for you mate. You cannot help the way you are, just like a gay person cannot help being gay as a mental sexual-orientation; you must never let your urges allow you to commit such acts as that is truly terrible.

Looking at child porn is acting on your urges I'm afraid. Those children are there in those pictures because they've been abused, and you are partly responsible by funding the industry by paying for it, or at least helping the evil site by viewing it and seeing the ads etc. That is something to feel guilty about.

Seek mental help bud, you'll be better off for it in the long-run.

Oh, and real mature TSR. :rolleyes:

When somebody makes an seemingly anti-gay comment you all jump on him but when somebody else comments about a sexual orientation he cannot help, so many of you tell him to commit suicide. Double-standards much?

Thanks for your post. I haven't paid for any of the porn, and never intended to, but i know this is no justification, and doesn't make it better.

Reply 22

Reflexive

gingergooner

But if I was to give my honest opinion... I don't think its the same as being gay. Obviously I don't know, but I seriously doubt evolution has allowed for that, I'm convinced being gay is just a natural way that someone has obtained attractions that were originally confined to the opposite sex, but in the beginning, noone fancied children to be fair.

How do you know that? In many societies in the world and throughout history there have been forms of socially sanctioned adult-child relations, which just goes to show the whole thing is socially constructed anyway.

Reply 23

gingergooner

Just for this thread

so i chose it?

No, but you don't have to choose it for it to be learned behaviour.
Edit:

Reflexive

Err... I don't think so. Adult child relations are hardly mutual, are they? Also, who chooses the relationship at the end of the day, the adult or the child? Just because something is socially constructed, doesn't make it moral.

Reply 24

Just for this thread

Chrosson

I actually am sorry to break this to you but unless you've taken precautions (proxy, TOR), the mods know who you are by ip address.

lol, oh well.

I don't use my other account much anyway...

Reply 25

partoftheweekend

All the ******* people say troll should shut up. Who gives a **** if it is or not.

If you're real then good on admitting it. You seem decent/normal enough other than this weird side to you. Reminds me of American Psycho...

Go and see a psychiatrist and never act on your impulses. Remember if the thoughts come up then spank the monkey before you do anything else.

Reply 26

Jiser

I can see how you might be attracted to younger people than yourself closer to your own age. 20 is still young. But little kids? Its way over a bit strange and you would be wise to seek professional help. Why not start by asking your GP where to seek assistance.

Reply 27

Anonymous #1

Just for this thread

lol, oh well.

I don't use my other account much anyway...

OP, you're just going to get alarmist trolls on tsr, who just tell you to kill yourself without reading a word. The key point is to continue not acting on your desires, and maybe in 50 years they'll have figured out some sort of technology for simulating it without hurting anyone.

Reply 28

bcolemann5

K I obviously don't condone your behavior or anything but I feels really sorry for you that your suffering through this! Your are in a terrible situation but you realize you need professional help. Surely saying it allowed to a psychiatrist would be better than constantly living with this going around in your head. Don't pay any notice to those insensitive comments about killing yourself...that is never a solution. I really urge you to seek help not only as you are, i'm afraid a risk to children but also to yourself! I genuinely hope you get the help you need and can come out of this dark patch :frown:

Reply 29

danadd9

Don't worry about it if you have no intention on acting on your urges.
Don't hesitate on getting help though if you feel like you're slipping into urges

Reply 30

Christian_j

OP, rather than just berating you for what must be a hard (and disturbing) admission to make, I would simply suggest that you keep the feelings to yourself for the rest of your life.

There are some things that just should not be admitted to, regardless of what psychologists are supposed to do or feel, they too are human.

You haven't looked at any pornographic material in a year and a half, which is a good start. There is nothing more you can do than continue to substitute it with real porn, it may be possible to focus on a different (and legal) fetish, have a look around the web and see what you can find, you may be able to transfer your focus to something else specialist.

You haven't done anything to abuse children apart from indirectly in that of what would be contained in the porn you watched, but you've clearly come to your senses about it. I don't believe that the desire to do it would ever lead to doing it so I won't brand you a sicko for that either, doing as opposed to thinking is a completely different kettle of fish.

The summary of my advice is that you need to just put it out of your mind, accept that you can think but never do and try to move on without getting depressed over it, if you believe you're born with it and you can't just 'stop' thinking about it then we have to assume you truly believe that and move on. If I were in your shoes, (which I'm not), I wouldn't go to any professionals about it, I don't see how what they say could improve on how bad you already know it is.

Just try and focus your (sexual?) attentions elsewhere, really.

Reply 31

Anomoly

I believe you can change - forget or at least blank out these thoughts completely, be "cured" in a sense. You are experiencing disturbing thoughts, there is no doubt about this, however there are people that experience thoughts along similar lines such as killing another person. You can seek help, you can say that you are experiences bad/wrong thoughts, you know they are wrong and you want to be cured. The psychologist may not even ask what these thoughts are, just try and help you.

You are lively a normal life in most other areas as you said in your first post, it is possible - you are not too far gone. The only advise that I think you should take is to get help or try with all your will to get rid of this. It will take time, effort and determination but by admitting and not feeding these thoughts makes the cure all the more possible.

Good luck.

Reply 32

jabed786

why does everyone think he is a troll? he may be actually telling the truth.

OP: Atleast you know its horrible to have those thoughts. Maybe you should first make sure that if you go speak to a doctor about this they dont report you to sex offenders or anything lol. Then ask for some help to get rid of these thoughts because they are 'wrong'.

Reply 33

mel45

Just for this thread

This makes no difference. The fact is you have still sought it out on the internet, looked at it and got sexual pleasure out of it. The damage is still done to those children, whether you paid for it or not. Their lives are still ruined, and they still face the trauma of rape, drugging and abuse, everyday. You cant possibly try and make yourself feel better, just because you havent properly downloaded it. You are still endorsing it, and creating a supply and demand situation.
It is my one and only goal in life to get rid of people like you, one way or another. Just think, that girl is someones daughter, she wants to play with ponies and have birthday parties. And there is you, and everyone else like you, ******* over her. Will she even make it old enough to realise the damage that has been done? Or will she kill herself, or worse, be killed.. before she even reaches puberty? Think if it was your sister, your girlfriend, your future daughter (god forbid if you ever actaully have one).
I do sympathise with you, as you are indeed in a quandry. However, putting it on TSR is probably not the mose useful or proactive way of dealing with it Seek professional help before its too late.

Reply 34

WhuTom

I genuinely feel sorry for you; what you've got, just like any sexual preference, eye colour, blood type, anything - is genetics embedded in you that in some respects you can't do much about.

But you've got to understand that your issues are different from others. Doing stuff with children is inexcusable, and we don't need essays explaining why. I know it's a big bite of the bullet but I think you should probably seek help professionally; with hypnosis therapy, or just counseling in mind perhaps to help you deal with this.

Reply 35

Reflexive

gingergooner

There is an argument for saying our reaction to it is a large part of the problem. In some tribal societies it is a normal part of life. In others the age of consent varies. I'm not saying it is moral, all I'm saying is it is a social construct, and these things prove it, and thefore what you said about no-one in the beginning fancying children doesn't make much sense.

Reply 36

Plasmatic

This is disturbing, if it's real. Looking at child pornography is illegal, and it is acting on your 'urges'. How long before this goes further?

You need to seek help, for yourself, and for the safety of children. Go to your GP ASAP. Once you've abused a kid, there's no reversing that, for you or the child. So yep, get help.

Reply 37

GapYearGirl

You need to seek professional help. If more people came forward as having a problem before they acted on it then perhaps fewer children would be abused. Even if the doctors do judge you, they can't act on that, they have a duty to treat you as they would any other patient. You already admit to watching child pornography. You've already crossed a line and you really should see a doctor before you do anything worse.

Reply 38

Garnelaf

I think it's scary, people's reaction. He hasn't acted on this. People have rape fettishes. That doesn't mean they should be shot and burnt because they're not actually going to rape anyone. Just learn to roleplay or something. I don't think you've done anything wrong (yet) and hope that you continue to not act on it. If it's really scaring you seek psychological help. Unless you're a troll, in which case GG.