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Clubs. Dancing. And my stupid morals. Watch

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    (Original post by facetious)
    My head's feeling a little messed up, because I can't decide what I actually want. I know most of you will think I'm wayyy over analysing this, which I know I am.

    I made a somewhat similar thread some time ago, but it's a little different this time. When I dance with guys in clubs that I don't know, I feel really bad about it the morning after once I'm sober, kind of dirty and disgusted with myself and all that. But the thing is, I want to be dancing with guys - but dancing with randomers makes me feel used and kinda crap, but dancing with mates is just, you know, you can't go past a certain line, or things get awkward. But I do actually want to be dancing with guys - I just can't figure out what to do to stop feeling, I don't know, so bizarrely, stupidly moral. Any advice, if anyone actually read this insanely stupid post?? :rolleyes:
    Being hungover is depressing anyway. So the morning after you'd feel bad about something silly you may have said.

    If you enjoy it on the night then carry on with it.
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    (Original post by facetious)
    When I dance with guys in clubs that I don't know, I feel really bad about it the morning after once I'm sober, kind of dirty and disgusted with myself and all that.
    If by dance you mean shag then yes you should feel bad. But if its JUST dancing with random blokes in clubs then i dont see the problem with it.
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    Nothing wrong with dancing with guys as long as you are not in a relationship.

    Have fun girl! We are only young once and in a few years time, you'd be regreting it.
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    (Original post by nase14_aldayz)
    Being hungover is depressing anyway. So the morning after you'd feel bad about something silly you may have said.

    If you enjoy it on the night then carry on with it.
    That would be true, but I don't tend to get hangovers
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    (Original post by facetious)
    My head's feeling a little messed up, because I can't decide what I actually want. I know most of you will think I'm wayyy over analysing this, which I know I am.

    I made a somewhat similar thread some time ago, but it's a little different this time. When I dance with guys in clubs that I don't know, I feel really bad about it the morning after once I'm sober, kind of dirty and disgusted with myself and all that. But the thing is, I want to be dancing with guys - but dancing with randomers makes me feel used and kinda crap, but dancing with mates is just, you know, you can't go past a certain line, or things get awkward. But I do actually want to be dancing with guys - I just can't figure out what to do to stop feeling, I don't know, so bizarrely, stupidly moral. Any advice, if anyone actually read this insanely stupid post?? :rolleyes:
    You feel guilty for having a good time?

    Not like ******* these guys, you're just having a good time, making the most of your youth if you wanna be old fashioned about it
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    It's just dancing, not a one night stand. You are taking the piss right?
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    things go a little bit to far.. and awkward ey... are u getting finger banged on the dance floor?
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    It's a moral development stage and called cognitive dissonance. It's caused by two opposing ideas or beliefs. It's like a conflict between beliefs and where your morals don't match up. For example you believe it's okay to dance with people but you don't believe it's okay to appear promiscious(I'm not sure why you feel bad btw). You could believe it's not right to have sex if you're not married, but you could also believe that you should make the most out of your life and give people you love the most you possibly can. It's basically inconsistencies in beliefs.

    That's my opinion anyway....
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    (Original post by EmiPark)
    It's a moral development stage and called cognitive dissonance. It's caused by two opposing ideas or beliefs. It's like a conflict between beliefs and where your morals don't match up. For example you believe it's okay to dance with people but you don't believe it's okay to appear promiscious(I'm not sure why you feel bad btw). You could believe it's not right to have sex if you're not married, but you could also believe that you should make the most out of your life and give people you love the most you possibly can. It's basically inconsistencies in beliefs.

    That's my opinion anyway....
    Alright. And the solution to this?
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    (Original post by Philosoraptor)
    Do you? I.e. you want to do it but just feel bad later?
    I really don't know. I think it's because of insecurities more than anything. I'm always surprised when I get attention so that's probably why I'm a bit like lol
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    (Original post by facetious)
    Alright. And the solution to this?
    To find a balance in morals, it might happen naturally as you develop, or maybe you'll never be able to progress past it.

    The main solution is having to change yourself, as it is a conflict. You could merely come to terms with it but it would still be there.

    You have to either change your way of thinking to either one. Like believe dancing with guys is okay and carry on doing it, or believe dancing with guys is not okay and never do it again.

    I don't see any other way around. There isn't much you can do other than pick the right decision and don't look back, i.e- change yourself....find a balance.

    Alot of cognitive dissonance, is to do with self image. You're scared that dancing with guys will give you a promisicous image and then you may self loathe, but you still want to do it, you're not willing to take the good with the bad and you're scared ofmaking the wrong choice.

    http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...ell-ourselves/ <- take a look at this
 
 
 
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