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pregnant student watch

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    #1

    Hi,

    right I am in a sticky situation. i am 2nd year law student and am now 6 weeks pregnant. i have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now, and i love him dearly but i dont know what to do about this whole baby thing.

    i am not ready for a baby, but am not sure now i have this thing inside me. i have been looking on the internet at abortions and the risks seem rather great, with 1 in 100 severely bleeding meaning that a hysterectomy has to be performed. i mean if it is now or never then it is now.

    i am worried about the complications because i always have bad luck i know it sounds silly but i broke my arm when i was 13 and i had to have 10 subsequent operations, most people walk away with a plaster cast for 6 weeks.

    and another problem with the abortion is that... i dont know if i could go through with it, it all sounds so gruesome and cruel.

    will my life be over if i have a child, will i be able to finish my degree, wow stressed!!!

    i appreciate any help, i dont really want to tell any of my friends or family as they will think im an imbecile for even considering keeping it.

    xxxx
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    Hi i kind of know where your coming from here . . .

    I found out i was pregnant at the end of year 11 :/ but i personally cant stomach the thought of an abortion, i just think its wrong, not the babys fault at the end of the day, if your old enough to do it then your old enough to face the consequences of it. dont get me wrong im not having a dig at you or anything, thats just my few, others are entitled to their own.

    Anyway i digress, i finished school and went straight onto college, having a term off after having my daughter and still leaving with ABB(about 8 marks off AAA, gutted ) and have been working since in a great job.

    I have applied for uni this year, have an amazing bf and im due to have my second child before i would start uni.

    From what you have said i think were about the same age maybe? If so then you are old enough to make your own choices and your family and friends, albiet probably shocked to begin with, shoule respect whatever decision you do make. I love the way my life is and wouldn't change any of it my daughter is amazing and although it hasnt been easy its been worth it

    So personally no i dont think your life would be over at all.

    Guess in the end though it all boils down to could you either deal with the mental and possibly physical trauma of an abortion or can you deal with the added pressures of being a parent. Depends how supportive your friends and family and bf are of course? and to how you see life, im all about the challenges, i do better under a lot of pressure but some people just crumble

    Sorry im babling now lol
    Hope you make the right decision for you
    xXx
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    you've got to weigh up your options..are you financially able to support that baby?? would your family be ok with this?? because whatever happens you need them there..and also would your boyfriend be happy with the prospect of being a dad???? don't just look at the cons on abortion..plus what do you want more, your degree and being able to work or the baby
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    Possibly the hardest decision ever. I don't think I could chose between them both
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    right I am in a sticky situation. i am 2nd year law student and am now 6 weeks pregnant. i have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now, and i love him dearly but i dont know what to do about this whole baby thing.

    i am not ready for a baby, but am not sure now i have this thing inside me. i have been looking on the internet at abortions and the risks seem rather great, with 1 in 100 severely bleeding meaning that a hysterectomy has to be performed. i mean if it is now or never then it is now.

    i am worried about the complications because i always have bad luck i know it sounds silly but i broke my arm when i was 13 and i had to have 10 subsequent operations, most people walk away with a plaster cast for 6 weeks.

    and another problem with the abortion is that... i dont know if i could go through with it, it all sounds so gruesome and cruel.

    will my life be over if i have a child, will i be able to finish my degree, wow stressed!!!

    i appreciate any help, i dont really want to tell any of my friends or family as they will think im an imbecile for even considering keeping it.

    xxxx
    Do it now and it won't be cruel, wait and it will.

    The longer you wait the more human it is.
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    Go to the doctor and ask about what an abortion would entail at this stage?

    Then you can make an informed decision. But don't be pressured either way.
    • #2
    #2

    Having a baby in your situation is quite selfish.
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    An abortion is safer than childbirth.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    right I am in a sticky situation. i am 2nd year law student and am now 6 weeks pregnant. i have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now, and i love him dearly but i dont know what to do about this whole baby thing.

    i am not ready for a baby, but am not sure now i have this thing inside me. i have been looking on the internet at abortions and the risks seem rather great, with 1 in 100 severely bleeding meaning that a hysterectomy has to be performed. i mean if it is now or never then it is now.

    i am worried about the complications because i always have bad luck i know it sounds silly but i broke my arm when i was 13 and i had to have 10 subsequent operations, most people walk away with a plaster cast for 6 weeks.

    and another problem with the abortion is that... i dont know if i could go through with it, it all sounds so gruesome and cruel.

    will my life be over if i have a child, will i be able to finish my degree, wow stressed!!!

    i appreciate any help, i dont really want to tell any of my friends or family as they will think im an imbecile for even considering keeping it.

    xxxx
    If I were you, I'd abort it, but people on TSR won't tell what is right for you. Also you should go to your GP or maybe talk to your family/friends - I think they won't be so harsh on you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    right I am in a sticky situation. i am 2nd year law student and am now 6 weeks pregnant. i have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now, and i love him dearly but i dont know what to do about this whole baby thing.

    i am not ready for a baby, but am not sure now i have this thing inside me. i have been looking on the internet at abortions and the risks seem rather great, with 1 in 100 severely bleeding meaning that a hysterectomy has to be performed. i mean if it is now or never then it is now.

    i am worried about the complications because i always have bad luck i know it sounds silly but i broke my arm when i was 13 and i had to have 10 subsequent operations, most people walk away with a plaster cast for 6 weeks.

    and another problem with the abortion is that... i dont know if i could go through with it, it all sounds so gruesome and cruel.

    will my life be over if i have a child, will i be able to finish my degree, wow stressed!!!

    i appreciate any help, i dont really want to tell any of my friends or family as they will think im an imbecile for even considering keeping it.

    xxxx
    Does your uni have a nursery on campus or nearby? Just take a year out (you should be able to defer) then take your kid to the nursery as you will be able to get reduced childcare costs.

    Is your BF supportive? Cos if he is you should have no probs combining raising a baby with your final year, loadsa people do it. And money should be okayish coz you could get extra benifits, for you, your child AND your educational costs.

    Avoid the abortion if your not sure about it
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    Would your bf support you? How about your parents? If you have the support, then you can do it. You don't really sound sure about abortion.

    Also, have you considered adoption?
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    Don't forget that you have more than the two choices you have mentioned above.
    If you don't like the idea of abortion but at the same time don't think you could look after a child this stage in your life then there is always adoption to consider. You may not like the idea at all, fair enough, but for some people it can be an option.

    If there is anyone who you could confide in, a friend or other family member, then that would probably help you =)
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    (Original post by jessw89)
    Hi i kind of know where your coming from here . . .

    I found out i was pregnant at the end of year 11 :/ but i personally cant stomach the thought of an abortion, i just think its wrong, not the babys fault at the end of the day, if your old enough to do it then your old enough to face the consequences of it. dont get me wrong im not having a dig at you or anything, thats just my few, others are entitled to their own.

    Anyway i digress, i finished school and went straight onto college, having a term off after having my daughter and still leaving with ABB(about 8 marks off AAA, gutted ) and have been working since in a great job.

    I have applied for uni this year, have an amazing bf and im due to have my second child before i would start uni.

    From what you have said i think were about the same age maybe? If so then you are old enough to make your own choices and your family and friends, albiet probably shocked to begin with, shoule respect whatever decision you do make. I love the way my life is and wouldn't change any of it my daughter is amazing and although it hasnt been easy its been worth it

    So personally no i dont think your life would be over at all.

    Guess in the end though it all boils down to could you either deal with the mental and possibly physical trauma of an abortion or can you deal with the added pressures of being a parent. Depends how supportive your friends and family and bf are of course? and to how you see life, im all about the challenges, i do better under a lot of pressure but some people just crumble

    Sorry im babling now lol
    Hope you make the right decision for you
    xXx
    Positive rep. More teen mums should be like you. Too many fit the sterotype
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    Have you spoken to your boyfriend about it?
    You could finish uni - either by juggling it all or by having a year out and going back to do third year. I know someone who did that and got a good degree.
    I don't think your life would be over, but I understand how scared you must be. I don't know what you have been reading but an abortion at 6 weeks is relatively straightforward. It may be painful but no more than a period for most. That is not to say it's the easy option because obviously it's not a decision to take lightly.
    You need to talk to your boyfriend about this. Then the two of you need to decide what to do. Financial and practical factors need to be part of your decision but ultimately, if you want the baby then have it because you may regret it for the rest of your life if you terminate. Likewise, if you are really not ready, perhaps an abortion would be the best option.
    I wish you lots and lots of luck xxx
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    (Original post by ziggycj)
    Positive rep. More teen mums should be like you. Too many fit the sterotype
    THANKYOU
    ive just had a load of abuse sent to me for what ive put which i dont think was fair at all :/
    I havent once relied on my parents or the governnemt, i had a job from year 7 onwards and i bought everything i needed for myself and the baby and i still work hard now to make sure she has the best life, she is very bright, was 3 in january and she can spell and write her own name, count to 15 consistantly blah blah blah so its not like on one of these chavs that get pregnant for the money, abuse for that i would have understood :/


    oh and ive even taught her french
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    (Original post by jessw89)
    THANKYOU
    ive just had a load of abuse sent to me for what ive put which i dont think was fair at all :/
    I havent once relied on my parents or the governnemt, i had a job from year 7 onwards and i bought everything i needed for myself and the baby and i still work hard now to make sure she has the best life, she is very bright, was 3 in january and she can spell and write her own name, count to 15 consistantly blah blah blah so its not like on one of these chavs that get pregnant for the money, abuse for that i would have understood :/


    oh and ive even taught her french
    Ugh that's awful people have been rude. Who was it?

    You gave excellent advice to the OP.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    right I am in a sticky situation. i am 2nd year law student and am now 6 weeks pregnant. i have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now, and i love him dearly but i dont know what to do about this whole baby thing.

    i am not ready for a baby, but am not sure now i have this thing inside me. i have been looking on the internet at abortions and the risks seem rather great, with 1 in 100 severely bleeding meaning that a hysterectomy has to be performed. i mean if it is now or never then it is now.

    i am worried about the complications because i always have bad luck i know it sounds silly but i broke my arm when i was 13 and i had to have 10 subsequent operations, most people walk away with a plaster cast for 6 weeks.

    and another problem with the abortion is that... i dont know if i could go through with it, it all sounds so gruesome and cruel.

    will my life be over if i have a child, will i be able to finish my degree, wow stressed!!!

    i appreciate any help, i dont really want to tell any of my friends or family as they will think im an imbecile for even considering keeping it.

    xxxx
    I had an abortion a couple of months ago and i got to the hospital at 8 in the morning and they didnt take me to theatre till twelve and then as soon as i woke up and i felt absolutly fine but they made me wait on a ward till about 8 at night just to be on the safe side. At times i she someone with a baby and wish id kept mine and i always wonder what life would be like it hadnt had the abortion but then i realise that i probably did the right thing for me at the time (i no that seems selfish) and i realise that i have plently of time for children in the future and although i think i would be able to look after a baby i know that now i want to have the student life for now and have children after. I know my reasons for the abortion was selfish but sometimes you have to do whats best for you. Im not trying to pursuade you for and abortion or against it i just wanted to let you know about my experiences.
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    (Original post by jessw89)
    THANKYOU
    ive just had a load of abuse sent to me for what ive put which i dont think was fair at all :/
    I havent once relied on my parents or the governnemt, i had a job from year 7 onwards and i bought everything i needed for myself and the baby and i still work hard now to make sure she has the best life, she is very bright, was 3 in january and she can spell and write her own name, count to 15 consistantly blah blah blah so its not like on one of these chavs that get pregnant for the money, abuse for that i would have understood :/


    oh and ive even taught her french
    You should be proud of yourself. My friend got pregnant at the same age as you, sadly the dad wanted nothing to do with it, and she had no support from her family. She did her A Levels and now has a brilliant job and a wonderful 4 and a half year old too!
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    (Original post by BrightGirl)
    Ugh that's awful people have been rude. Who was it?

    You gave excellent advice to the OP.
    i dont know ? :s
    it showed up on my rep thing, dont quite understand that yet but they put on it that i was a **** and that i was what is ruining this country or something along those lines :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had an abortion a couple of months ago and i got to the hospital at 8 in the morning and they didnt take me to theatre till twelve and then as soon as i woke up and i felt absolutly fine but they made me wait on a ward till about 8 at night just to be on the safe side. At times i she someone with a baby and wish id kept mine and i always wonder what life would be like it hadnt had the abortion but then i realise that i probably did the right thing for me at the time (i no that seems selfish) and i realise that i have plently of time for children in the future and although i think i would be able to look after a baby i know that now i want to have the student life for now and have children after. I know my reasons for the abortion was selfish but sometimes you have to do whats best for you. Im not trying to pursuade you for and abortion or against it i just wanted to let you know about my experiences.
    It's not selfish. If you wouldn't have been happy or able to support a child, it would have been unfair of you to have it. Don't feel guilty, you made the decision that was right for you and nobody can tell you that was wrong.
 
 
 
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