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pregnant student watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    right I am in a sticky situation. i am 2nd year law student and am now 6 weeks pregnant. i have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now, and i love him dearly but i dont know what to do about this whole baby thing.

    i am not ready for a baby, but am not sure now i have this thing inside me. i have been looking on the internet at abortions and the risks seem rather great, with 1 in 100 severely bleeding meaning that a hysterectomy has to be performed. i mean if it is now or never then it is now.

    i am worried about the complications because i always have bad luck i know it sounds silly but i broke my arm when i was 13 and i had to have 10 subsequent operations, most people walk away with a plaster cast for 6 weeks.

    and another problem with the abortion is that... i dont know if i could go through with it, it all sounds so gruesome and cruel.

    will my life be over if i have a child, will i be able to finish my degree, wow stressed!!!

    i appreciate any help, i dont really want to tell any of my friends or family as they will think im an imbecile for even considering keeping it.

    xxxx
    Abortion is very safe. It is safer than giving birth and safer than receiving an injection of penicillin. Like all medical procedures, there are some risks with abortion, but the risk is comparatively minimal.

    Less than 1% of all abortion patients experience a major complication, such as serious pelvic infection, hemorrhage requiring a blood transfusion or unintended major surgery. The risks associated with abortion increases with the length of pregnancy. Hysterectomy is exceedingly rare.

    Source: http://www.fwhc.org/abortion/flyer.htm

    So don't let that be the decision maker.
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    Hi. My advice would be go to the doctor and talk to him about it - you dont have to tell anyone sle until you've sorted your head out and are happy with your decision although if youare really struggling to decide then talk to your parents. They'll probably be angry at first but give it a few days and I'm sure they'll be very supportive.

    Get an abortion - you'll probably always think about what your baby would have been like
    - they'll be lots of crying
    - very emotional

    have a baby - you'll never have the career you always dreamed of and if you do it will take a lot longer to get it
    - they'll be lots of crying
    - your partner might be supportive or might leave you (befor r after the baby is born)
    - you'll loose the opportunity to live life for yourself everything will be about what the baby needs not about you at all.
    - unless you find someone to look after the baby while you're at uni you'll prob have to either drop out of uni or go part time
    - they'll be lots of crying
    - stress will go through the roof
    - you'll be very very poor for a long time
    wow they're are so many downsides and responcibilities to having this baby I cant even continue to write them.

    Anyway my point is that sometimes the doctor can just give you a pill to make you miscarry. I dont know how long it is but if this is an option then i think you should seriously consider it. If you have to go through the whole abortion then this is more of a consideration.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    right I am in a sticky situation. i am 2nd year law student and am now 6 weeks pregnant. i have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now, and i love him dearly but i dont know what to do about this whole baby thing.

    i am not ready for a baby, but am not sure now i have this thing inside me. i have been looking on the internet at abortions and the risks seem rather great, with 1 in 100 severely bleeding meaning that a hysterectomy has to be performed. i mean if it is now or never then it is now.

    i am worried about the complications because i always have bad luck i know it sounds silly but i broke my arm when i was 13 and i had to have 10 subsequent operations, most people walk away with a plaster cast for 6 weeks.

    and another problem with the abortion is that... i dont know if i could go through with it, it all sounds so gruesome and cruel.

    will my life be over if i have a child, will i be able to finish my degree, wow stressed!!!

    i appreciate any help, i dont really want to tell any of my friends or family as they will think im an imbecile for even considering keeping it.

    xxxx
    The internet is always going to be biased towards this matter so you really should go talk to your GP, if you're seriously considering abortion. Personally, I feel such a decision is your own and private- no one for/against abortion should try to prevent/encourage you.

    Talk to your boyfriend. Does he want to have a child so young? I know you're the one carrying it for nine months but he'd be a parent too.

    Plenty of people have gone to uni with children and you can always return when the baby's older. On the other hand, there may be people who regret not finishing their education.

    Ultimately, it's your decision. But you should definitely talk to people in real life.
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    its a really tricky situation and there is no 'right thing' for you to do, all you can do is try and make the best decision you can. it sounds to me like a part of you wants to keep the baby, but he practical side of you is having trouble justifying it. i am personally pro-choice when it comes to abortion, but part of that means you have a real choice either way, and that means that you have the right to keep the baby and not be constrained by a sense of shame or what your friends/family think. when you consider abortion ask yourself whether your doing it because you don't want a baby now or because you can't face everyone else. that's not to say you shouldn't take your family's feelings into account, but make sure whatever decision you come to is for you (and your boyfriend?), not just because you're scared to tell them.
    also you should definately try and see/email your student advisor/personal tutor type person (whoever it is your supposed to go to when you have non-academic, personal problems - most universities have some sort of person like this you can talk to, either someone assigned to you, or someone you can go and see - they ought to be able to tell you about how possible it is to take a year out and help you assess whether having a baby and continuing your course is possible (it usually is, mature applicants do it all the time!), they will probably be quite experienced with this kind of problem and may know of other students who did the same thing.

    anyway i wish you the best of luck in your decision, i really do sympathise and i wouldn't think you stupid or selfish whatever you decided.
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    I think you personally just have to think about it. It would be very hard to list all the factors and list all your thoughts and fears. I'm doubt I could tell you anything you haven't already thought of, and the 'what I would do' type answers are pretty pointless, as are biased pro/con lists (like HoneyBear's).
    Just get all the info you need (from Uni, doctors, banks/direct.gov or something, your boyfriend) and decide. TSR is not the answer.
    Good luck. I hope you have long term happiness whichever decision you go for.

    Also, remember, while adoption may be hard, [I think] you can opt for short-term foster care if you're struggling, and get him or her back when you're ready. That's what my parents did with all of my siblings and I, especially me and my twin which is when I think they struggled the most (4 kids in 3 years!). I think so anyway. Research it.
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    Unlucky. Would your parents help a load? i.e. basically looking after it for a year or two? Personally I'd abort but oh well.
 
 
 
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