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Girls: Prenuptial agreement for marriage? Watch

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    No I wouldn't accept a pre-nup in the same way I wouldn't suggest one to him either! I hate the idea of them, if before you're even married you are planning on dividing assets when you get divorced then you shouldn't be getting married at all IMHO.

    Marriage is for life, this crap society opts out too easily of it now.
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    (Original post by SpanielMadHouse)
    No I wouldn't accept a pre-nup in the same way I wouldn't suggest one to him either! I hate the idea of them, if before you're even married you are planning on dividing assets when you get divorced then you shouldn't be getting married at all IMHO.

    Marriage is for life, this crap society opts out too easily of it now.
    That was probably the attitude that most people who got divorced once had.
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    (Original post by Jonty99)
    That was probably the attitude that most people who got divorced once had.

    Most is pushing it I think, divorce was practically unheard of half a century ago. Now people give up too easily, and unless something really bad happens like the relationship becoming abusive, I think people should stick it out and try harder.
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    (Original post by SpanielMadHouse)
    Most is pushing it I think, divorce was practically unheard of half a century ago. Now people give up too easily, and unless something really bad happens like the relationship becoming abusive, I think people should stick it out and try harder.
    How is most pushing it? I'm not saying most people get divorced; I'm saying that most people out of those people who DO get divorced probably wanted their marriage to be "for life". Which is almost certainly true. I mean... who DOESN'T want their marriage to last for life? :p:

    My point being, you obviously don't want to get divorced when you get married. But unexpected things happen.
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    (Original post by Fjarskafinn)
    If I was asked to sign something like that before getting married I'd be concerned about whether the guy was fully committed, to be honest. I'd be quite hurt by the idea that "this marriage couldn't last and what's mine is mine, biatch".
    im sorry but this is the typical female response. it is a fact that most people are married more than once, so the chances of divorce arent poor. second, why do you care about his wealth? if you really wanted to marry him, why would you care what you got from a divorce? i agree personally that money made during the divorce should be shared (but only if the wife stayed home, or if man stayed home then he should get a share) to an extent. but whatever he had before, should be his.
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    (Original post by danny111)
    why would you care what you got from a divorce?
    people aren't objecting to pre-nups because they really were planning to take their partner for everything they've got if they divorced but of COURSE people care what they get in a divorce - isn't that the whole point of pre-nups in the first place?

    I would be offended because of what it implies about how my partner would expect me to behave in the situation of a divorce. I wouldn't try and take more than what was fair, and I'd resent the fact that they felt the need to legally protect themselves from me and what would apparently be my money-grabbing in the event of a divorce.

    so no, I wouldn't sign a pre-nup and I wouldn't ask my partner to sign one. I'd be frankly mortified if I was asked to sign one, and it would make me reconsider being engaged in the first place.
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    (Original post by OhNO!)
    people aren't objecting to pre-nups because they really were planning to take their partner for everything they've got if they divorced but of COURSE people care what they get in a divorce - isn't that the whole point of pre-nups in the first place?

    I would be offended because of what it implies about how my partner would expect me to behave in the situation of a divorce. I wouldn't try and take more than what was fair, and I'd resent the fact that they felt the need to legally protect themselves from me and what would apparently be my money-grabbing in the event of a divorce.

    so no, I wouldn't sign a pre-nup and I wouldn't ask my partner to sign one. I'd be frankly mortified if I was asked to sign one, and it would make me reconsider being engaged in the first place.
    But you obviously don't think you'll behave badly if you get divorced, since you love him and are all happy being engaged. The very fact you are having a divorce (if it were to happen) would obviously be because you no longer love him, indeed, you may have had huge arguments and hate each other. In that situation, you may not be quite so kind and fair as you are saying now.
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    (Original post by Jonty99)
    But you obviously don't think you'll behave badly if you get divorced, since you love him and are all happy being engaged. The very fact you are having a divorce (if it were to happen) would obviously be because you no longer love him, indeed, you may have had huge arguments and hate each other. In that situation, you may not be quite so kind and fair as you are saying now.
    I may not be, but I'd like to think I wouldn't marry someone if we were only buoyed up on puppy love. I'd hope that the person I was marrying would feel that they knew me through and through, and I'd be upset if they saw me as the type who might try and take them for all they were worth if we got divorced. To me it suggests a lack of trust, and I wouldn't be happy going into a marriage or partnership on that basis.

    If two people are happy to sign a pre-nuptial agreement, then that's fine. I don't understand it particularly, but it's fine. I wouldn't, and I think it's a perfectly valid position.
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    If she loves me, then she'll understand why i would want the agreement. If she gets mad about it, she didn't really love me, regardless of her intentions
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    It's such a modern invention, there's so much wrong with marriage now anyway.

    We need to get back to the days where people just fall in love, there are no other consequences, you cannot imagine you life without them, you exude happiness when they even come into conversation.
    You're just IN LOVE.
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    (Original post by 9MmBulletz)
    If she loves me, then she'll understand why i would want the agreement. If she gets mad about it, she didn't really love me, regardless of her intentions
    "Honey, sign this piece of paper incase one of us cheats and you try to take all my money."

    :l

    It's a toughie. Most men want it out of protection but most women seem to think it shows trust issues. I guess it's natural because men so often get screwed over with child custody and payments...
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    (Original post by Smiling...Rain)
    It's such a modern invention, there's so much wrong with marriage now anyway.

    We need to get back to the days where people just fall in love, there are no other consequences, you cannot imagine you life without them, you exude happiness when they even come into conversation.
    You're just IN LOVE.
    The concept of marriage has been around longer than the concept of romantic love. Which days are you talking about exactly?
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    (Original post by Playboy King)
    But think of it from a guy's point of view. If you didn't sign something like that then he'd be concerned about your intentions and whether you're with him for his money...and plan to get some of it through a divorce, in which case your committment to the marriage comes into question.

    It could be either way though, if the wife's got more wealth then who's to say the guy's not with her for her money?
    If you're "concerned about someone's intentions", you don't trust them and shouldn't be marrying them.

    If you marry someone, you are committing to share your life and all you have with them. You should have enough faith to accept that there will be consequences for you should it go wrong.

    Regardless of whether "most people get divorced" or not, if you don't have faith enough to be confident that a marriage will last, you shouldn't get married in the first place. What is the point in saying to someone "I want to make it official that I am sharing myself and my life with you... but not my money or possessions."?
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    (Original post by Jonty99)
    But nobody is sure if their marriage will work out or not.
    No, but the whole point of marriage is commitment. Pre-nups take the commitment out of marriage and, hence, leave it pointless.

    If you feel you need a pre-nup, you should probably just not bother getting married.
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    (Original post by JoshyEls)
    The concept of marriage has been around longer than the concept of romantic love. Which days are you talking about exactly?
    The modern invention was regarding the 'pre-nup' not marriage.
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    (Original post by Planto)
    If you're "concerned about someone's intentions", you don't trust them and shouldn't be marrying them.
    this is exactly my problem.

    a prenup is not about CURRENT committment. it is about a hypothetical FUTURE event. and in the event of a divorce that commitment you had when marrying no longer exists.
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    (Original post by danny111)
    this is exactly my problem.

    a prenup is not about CURRENT committment. it is about a hypothetical FUTURE event. and in the event of a divorce that commitment you had when marrying no longer exists.
    But in marrying someone you're comitting to loving them in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live. Surely if you don't agree with that then you shouldn't bother?
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    (Original post by Smiling...Rain)
    The modern invention was regarding the 'pre-nup' not marriage.
    Still, even in the last 50 years or so the percentage of people marrying for love rather than financial security has probably gone up not down. There is no mythical perfect age of romance.
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    (Original post by Muffinz)
    But in marrying someone you're comitting to loving them in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live. Surely if you don't agree with that then you shouldn't bother?
    yes. but the two are independent of each other.

    if for both of you this statement holds (love each otehr....) then the prenup will never matter anyway.

    but if one of you breaks it...
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    Someone in this thread raised a point about a woman being in a more financially vulnerable position by putting her career on hold to have a child if her husband divorced her after that.

    But in situations like that, a prenup would still be beneficial if exceptions can be made, to cater for the examples such as the one above.
 
 
 
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