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Girls: Prenuptial agreement for marriage? watch

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    (Original post by VampireKnight)
    But for me, that's an entirely different matter.
    Why though? (Not dissing your opinion, just curious about your reasoning.)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What's wrong with any of my criticisms of your analogy?
    Can you think of anything besides "rubbish"

    I'll say it again

    A car crash doesn't have to involve bad driving. Plenty of good drivers are in car crashes.
    Being a mega ***** is kinda your own fault.

    To sign a prenuptial indicates you think someone might turn out to be a mega*****. To wear a seatbelt only implies you think a crash could happen, and not necessarily that the person can't drive.

    Besides.. "you might be a ***** who'd happily stab me in the back" is somewhat more insulting (to me at least) than "you might make a mistake driving".
    One of those is a character-based criticism and one isn't.

    I wouldn't refuse to sign a prenuptial agreement because I plan to gain from future divorce. I'll probably be earning more than my partner in the future.. like i ALREADY SAID.
    Seriously what kind of person do you think I am, secretely scheming the downfall of my fiance? If I wanted to dupe some guy into handing me cash I'd prostitute myself. I actually find what you're saying pretty offensive, just as I would find it offensive in my future husband because that's essentially what someone is saying to if they ultimatum you into signing - "you don't want to agree because you want my money"
    May as well call me a whore to my face.


    If I was marrying a pauper I wouldn't sign one. I have sensible, non-greed reasons for disagreeing with you, despite your reluctance to accept this.
    Your criticisms of the analogy are rubbish because they show that you totally missed the point of the analogy, and your reluctance to allow your male partner financial security in the event of a divorce speaks volumes about you. You obviously can't understand that it's not about you, it's about him. Just like when I belt up in people's cars I'm not dissing their driving.

    One also has to wonder why you are (mis)using the anonymous feature as well.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Aw this thread made me sad. 45% of marriages ending in divorce?


    I came into this thread about an hour ago thinking "wtf I wouldn't sign one of them it just shows complete distrust of me", however the more I think about it I think it's probably a good idea. After 27 years marriage my parents got divorced about 3 years ago, and the court case only finished a few months ago sharing out the money. Their comments about each other to me ALL THE ******* TIME, usually about money, is just unreal the amount of hatred they hold for each other. I would hate to become like that.
    Yep.. I think it's not even distrust of the other person, or that distrust of him or her would be merited. It's just distrust of Life.

    And we all know that life can **** you/anyone up. Maybe it's an age thing though. I think teenagers still tend to believe in life.
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    I don't understand why the argument is between people who don't think they will ever get divorced and people who want to be safe. Does nobody else think that if a woman has left their career to do unpaid work and to take the majority of childcare responsibilities, they might be entitled to a share of the money that comes into the family as a result of this set up? Not only do they miss years of possible earnings, it is also much harder to get back on the career ladder after a long break.
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    (Original post by Smack)
    Your reluctance to allow your male partner financial security in the event of a divorce speaks volumes about you. You obviously can't understand that it's not about you, it's about him. Just like when I belt up in people's cars I'm not dissing their driving.

    One also has to wonder why you are (mis)using the anonymous feature as well.
    And you resort to character assassination. That's not something I've done to you.

    I was trying to explain my viewpoint and you simply won't have it.

    I understand why some people might sign these agreements, but I wouldn't. It's not so much you saying that's silly that's got me riled up, so much as your repeated insinuations that the only reason I might object is because I'm a gold-digger, or now, because I have some kind of fundamental character flaw/ am selfish.

    I'm not going to argue any further because really I've said all I have to say, and frankly it's not the most important issue in the world to argue about.

    I'm using the anon because I originally intended not to come across as boastful when I said I was anticipating a high salary... and then continued for consistency I guess. I probably am misusing it now so I'll stop posting.

    Note: Ilys has the same viewpoint as you about prenuptials, but is much less offensive and unfair in his/her arguments.
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    I didn't say you were a gold digger. If you read the post, you would have seen that. I did say you were being selfish ("it's not about you, it's about him"), though, and I stand by my assertions that any woman who refuses to sign a pre-nup is selfish, and also likely a gold digger, as there are no other reasons to avoid signing one.
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    (Original post by JoshyEls)
    I don't understand why the argument is between people who don't think they will ever get divorced and people who want to be safe. Does nobody else think that if a woman has left their career to do unpaid work and to take the majority of childcare responsibilities, they might be entitled to a share of the money that comes into the family as a result of this set up? Not only do they miss years of possible earnings, it is also much harder to get back on the career ladder after a long break.
    Good point but I wouldn't give up my career, I'd work less and expect my husband to do the same sorta thing to balance it out if you see my view, so, I would sign a prenup and expect one to be signed
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    (Original post by JoshyEls)
    I don't understand why the argument is between people who don't think they will ever get divorced and people who want to be safe. Does nobody else think that if a woman has left their career to do unpaid work and to take the majority of childcare responsibilities, they might be entitled to a share of the money that comes into the family as a result of this set up? Not only do they miss years of possible earnings, it is also much harder to get back on the career ladder after a long break.
    I completely agree. I would not sign a prenuptial agreement that makes no provision for what happens in case there are children.

    (And thank you Anonymous ;-) , I'm female btw.)

    BTW, there's a good movie about prenups, "(In)tolerable Cruelty"..
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    (Original post by woozeybear)
    Good point but I wouldn't give up my career, I'd work less and expect my husband to do the same sorta thing to balance it out if you see my view, so, I would sign a prenup and expect one to be signed
    Fair enough, although if you are from the UK it is worth **** all.
    In that situation I don't think either of you would be able to take the other one to the cleaners anyway. When people talk about women being more likely to benefit financially from divorce, they forget that women are more likely to give up their job to play the housewife role.
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    (Original post by JoshyEls)
    Fair enough, although if you are from the UK it is worth **** all.
    In that situation I don't think either of you would be able to take the other one to the cleaners anyway. When people talk about women being more likely to benefit financially from divorce, they forget that women are more likely to give up their job to play the housewife role.
    True
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Aw this thread made me sad. 45% of marriages ending in divorce?


    I came into this thread about an hour ago thinking "wtf I wouldn't sign one of them it just shows complete distrust of me", however the more I think about it I think it's probably a good idea. After 27 years marriage my parents got divorced about 3 years ago, and the court case only finished a few months ago sharing out the money. Their comments about each other to me ALL THE ******* TIME, usually about money, is just unreal the amount of hatred they hold for each other. I would hate to become like that.
    This is exactly why comments like "i have no intention of taking all his money if we divorce" mean **** all because they will almost certainly hate each other when they break up and the poorer one will be after everything they can get!

    If you had not intention of taking any of his money you should have no reason not to sign one.

    Good quote from a BBC News reader ...

    Gold diggers don't turn up with a mule and a pickaxe. Refusal to consider a pre-nup is a pretty good indication that you are being targeted by one.
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    I won't get married.
    That way I don't even have to bother with a prenup, ***** isn't getting any of my ****.
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    (Original post by Cortez)
    This is exactly why comments like "i have no intention of taking all his money if we divorce" mean **** all because they will almost certainly hate each other when they break up and the poorer one will be after everything they can get!

    If you had not intention of taking any of his money you should have no reason not to sign one.

    Good quote from a BBC News reader ...
    I would disagree with the BBC quote. I don't think people who won't sign one are necessarily gold-diggers, they could just be extremely naive? That's what most the comments on here seem to scream to me, all this about trusting each other.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I would disagree with the BBC quote. I don't think people who won't sign one are necessarily gold-diggers, they could just be extremely naive? That's what most the comments on here seem to scream to me, all this about trusting each other.
    Yes, that's what I think. All the girls on here seem to think that in their future marriages, they'll never get divorced, and if they do, they won't be angry at their partner.
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    the amount of goldigga's on this forums astound me in the the lame way they cover up their ways by refusing to believe anything but that when a man wants a pre-nup he doesn't trust you and envisions an end to marriage.

    of course we don't ******* envision an end to the marriage otherwise we wouldn't marry you! I'm pretty good at cycling and doubt i'll fall off my bike cos i don't cycle dangerously and only do it in the right conditions but i still still wear a ******* helmet for insurance (get the analogy yet goldigga?). When i marry i want to stay married untill I die but i can't predict the future and a number of things could come up that require us to get seperated; personality change, became an addict, always arguing etc).

    for wealthy people (regardless of gender) a pre-nup is ensuring that the person you marry is not intent on stealing your money. the argument that if he loved you truly you wouldn't need a pre-nup works the other way around too - if YOU loved him you would do your best to ease his worries and just sign the damn thing to reaffirm his faith in you ( it's like saying " i love you " in a physical form other than sex). He'll love you all the more for it too and thus ensuring your marriage lasts longer.
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    (Original post by Fat-Love)
    the amount of goldigga's on this forums astound me in the the lame way they cover up their ways by refusing to believe anything but that when a man wants a pre-nup he doesn't trust you and envisions an end to marriage.

    of course we don't ******* envision an end to the marriage otherwise we wouldn't marry you! I'm pretty good at cycling and doubt i'll fall off my bike cos i don't cycle dangerously and only do it in the right conditions but i still still wear a ******* helmet for insurance (get the analogy yet goldigga?). When i marry i want to stay married untill I die but i can't predict the future and a number of things could come up that require us to get seperated; personality change, became an addict, always arguing etc).

    for wealthy people (regardless of gender) a pre-nup is ensuring that the person you marry is not intent on stealing your money. the argument that if he loved you truly you wouldn't need a pre-nup works the other way around too - if YOU loved him you would do your best to ease his worries and just sign the damn thing to reaffirm his faith in you ( it's like saying " i love you " in a physical form other than sex). He'll love you all the more for it too and thus ensuring your marriage lasts longer.
    You realise a prenup in the UK isn't actually a legally valid document right? You would be throwing a spanner into the works by suggesting to your partner you aren't sure the marriage is going to work out, and you wouldn't actually gain the right to hoard all of your money in the event of a divorce anyway.
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    (Original post by JoshyEls)
    You realise a prenup in the UK isn't actually a legally valid document right? You would be throwing a spanner into the works by suggesting to your partner you aren't sure the marriage is going to work out, and you wouldn't actually gain the right to hoard all of your money in the event of a divorce anyway.
    oh i know that a prenup is not valid in the UK. i meant in general (though this forum is mainly filled people from the UK), and no i don't believe i'd be suggesting the marriage isn't going to work out - i wouldn't marry someone if i didn't love them but i'd need a failsafe if something went wrong ( after all no-one can predict the future).
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    (Original post by Fat-Love)
    oh i know that a prenup is not valid in the UK. i meant in general (though this forum is mainly filled people from the UK), and no i don't believe i'd be suggesting the marriage isn't going to work out - i wouldn't marry someone if i didn't love them but i'd need a failsafe if something went wrong ( after all no-one can predict the future).
    So you won't get married unless prenups become legal in the UK?
    There are still more marriages that last than end in divorce, and I wouldn't even think about proposing to someone until I felt confident I was going to be in that majority.
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    (Original post by JoshyEls)
    You realise a prenup in the UK isn't actually a legally valid document right? You would be throwing a spanner into the works by suggesting to your partner you aren't sure the marriage is going to work out, and you wouldn't actually gain the right to hoard all of your money in the event of a divorce anyway.
    But nobody is sure if their marriage will work out or not.
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    (Original post by JoshyEls)
    So you won't get married unless prenups become legal in the UK?
    There are still more marriages that last than end in divorce, and I wouldn't even think about proposing to someone until I felt confident I was going to be in that majority.
    just because your confident your not going to get divorced doesn't mean it ain't gonna happen. I never once said i wouldn't get married unless pre-nups legalised - i was just stating that it was irresponsible of a woman to view a prenup as anything other than offensive. Besides even if you find it offensive it's not a reason to avoid signing it as if you loved your partner you'd sign. a partner farting in bed is offensive but it won't change the fact that we're still gonna be sleeping next to them tomorrow too. In all honesty theres a lot of things we do that are offensive to our partners but we learn to grin and bear because we have faith in our love.
 
 
 
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