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My self harm is getting out of control. Help? watch

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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Can I please stress that I don't do it for attention, nor does anybody else know about it.

    Basically, I've been doing it for a few months now, in varying degrees of depth/etc. I thought it was 'ok' until today, I thought I could always control when I did it, but today I couldn't. I ran out of my english class and went to the toilet and did it. I was so close to confiding in my teacher but I don't want my mom to know. I'm 17 and in sixth form, would my teacher be obliged to report it if I told her?

    I don't have any other ways to cope at the moment. Does anybody have any experiences as to how they managed to stop?

    Thanks in advance.
    • #2
    #2

    I used to... I ended up seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist and finally managed to stop by addressing the problem that was causing my depression... it took a long time and a lot of help, (I was in a pretty bad way) and I had to move city and everything...
    I would say stopping is entirely personal and I couldn't advise you at all.
    Maybe it would be a good thing for your mum to know ... my parents knew and my dad helped me massively. It entirely depends on how your mum would react.
    I got found out at school. And they legally had to tell my parents. It wasn't ideal.
    • #3
    #3

    I was a self harmer for around 6 years, for me tackling the root cause of why I self harmed, my anorexia, helped me break the cycle. I go to ACT therapy every week, I would still be considered very much anorexic, although the self harm has subsided. Although it's relatively early days some part of me is confident it will finally help. Perhaps you might consider a similar strategy - when you feel confident enough to share you feeling perhaps make an appointment to see your GP, preferrably one you like or find to be sympathetic and maybe ask for a counselling referral.

    Really self harm is a choice, we all have the choice not to self harm, yet some of us still do it. It's the same with my anorexia I have the choice to eat yet I still don't. It's all about just beginning to realising you have the power to change. No one needs to self harm, it's something some of us want, to comfort whatever painful emotions we are feeling.

    It might also be useful to find some distractions - watch a good film, read, sleep, exercise, write a journal. Just remember though if you slip up, it's only a small mistake, it's not all your efforts wasted. Learn from it and pick back up again.
    • #4
    #4

    Does your school have a counselling service? They're not obliged to pass on any information unless they consider you seriously at risk of harming yourself or others. I found it really helpful when I went through a tough period.

    I also used to self-harm (well, I say used to; I mean I haven't done it for a couple of months, and hopefully won't do it again) - it's pretty difficult to get through, but confiding in people is seriously helpful - just talking to someone about your problem will seriously relieve the burden. Honestly, do talk to someone, you will feel ten times better.

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    Tell somebody. Maybe subconsciously you want people to see the cuts.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Does your school have a counselling service? They're not obliged to pass on any information unless they consider you seriously at risk of harming yourself or others. I found it really helpful when I went through a tough period.

    I also used to self-harm (well, I say used to; I mean I haven't done it for a couple of months, and hopefully won't do it again) - it's pretty difficult to get through, but confiding in people is seriously helpful - just talking to someone about your problem will seriously relieve the burden. Honestly, do talk to someone, you will feel ten times better.

    Yeah, a counsellor won't tell your parents if you're over 16 and you're not at risk to yourself or others, but a teacher is usually obliged to. My German teacher found out through a member of PE staff and informed my parents... which was pretty awful. Telling someone though will help, once one of my close friends knew, I felt so much better. It's still not 100% these days, but so much nearer than it was then Good luck, feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk to someone
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    OP, how are you self-harming? I think you should talk to your GP. If you tell your teacher she would have to tell your parents otherwise if anything happens to you it she would be liable.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Piranha)
    OP, how are you self-harming? I think you should talk to your GP. If you tell your teacher she would have to tell your parents otherwise if anything happens to you it she would be liable.
    Cutting, arms. I know that sounds like the stereotypical 'attention seeking' self-harm, but I hide it well and never show my arms anyway.

    My GP already knows. I went to a psychiatric screening. And that was the end of that; never got offered counselling or anything, just got given anti-depressants and PTSD diagnosis. The thing about my teacher is that I really feel comfortable talking to her and she's helped me out a lot in the past with abuse issues. But I don't want to pressure her into confidentiality if she can't give me that.

    Thanks for all the replies!
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    What's up with all the Anons today seriously??
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by The-Real-One)
    What's up with all the Anons today seriously??
    Maybe because it's quite a sensitive topic.
    • #5
    #5

    I used to cut words into my hands to remind me to diligently throw up after I'd eaten anything . I still have the scars. The thing that really helped me kick it was when my mum noticed and her shock and sadness helped burst the selfish , self hating bubble I was living in.
    • #6
    #6

    My friend used to cut, and I didn't know what to say other than "please stop" and I cried a lot. She's over it now because she's a lot happier. She's off at uni, away from all of the things that made her sad. So if you can, try and identify whats causing you this pain, and deal with it- maybe with a therapist/GP. God Bless x
    • #7
    #7

    for me the trigger to stopping was my parents finding out. maybe it could be for the best, i know it's scary but you can't go on like this forever. try and find somebody you can talk to, maybe a therapist. good luck honey. xxx
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    Ok I won't post as anon - even the my user name is called anon but ho hum any way I am an ex self harmer. I was doing it for 9-10 years . I am now 21 and I have stopped so can you.

    I was your age when it got worse. I am still suffering a lot the other day I wanted to end my life. I got taken into hospital yesterday as I was a wreck and you know what I spoke about it. I felt so much better after wards.

    I did take councelling before and it helped. For the first time in my life at the age of 21 I have wanted to get better. I suffer from intense body dismorphia and extreme insecurities and I have attempted end my life but I would like to point out your not alone. I promise you.

    The scars make me feel guilty but I wont do it again. I would like you to tell us what is the cause of all this?

    The cause of my issues were intense culture pressure, bullying throughout my life, and being a loner most of it.

    What and why do you cut? For me it was about a release when I felt alone.

    You can and will get better but you need to speak to someone about it hunni - you cant suffer alone because I know how much it hurts inside trust me - I am going through it now. -HUGS-.
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    lol. just stop, now. everybody who ever self harmed is just looking for attention, so you might as well tell somebody even if you claim you don't want to.

    take it from someone who cut his arm down to the bone.
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    (Original post by Sad Clown)
    lol. just stop, now. everybody who ever self harmed is just looking for attention, so you might as well tell somebody even if you claim you don't want to.

    take it from someone who cut his arm down to the bone.
    Really? Jesus. How come it got that bad?
    And yeah I think you may be right. I still do it and all I want is for someone to come and save me.
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    (Original post by Sad Clown)
    lol. just stop, now. everybody who ever self harmed is just looking for attention, so you might as well tell somebody even if you claim you don't want to.

    take it from someone who cut his arm down to the bone.
    Yes the right kind of attention from the right person who can help.
    Not every body is the same - some people are different.
    • #8
    #8

    (Original post by Sad Clown)
    lol. just stop, now. everybody who ever self harmed is just looking for attention.
    Speak for yourself.
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    Do you know why your cutting yourself?
    • #9
    #9

    Hi

    As many others have said, it would probably be good if you told someone. As self-harm is obviously a method of self-destruction, it's going to be very hard for you to help yourself when you're in such a low mindset. Remember that people are likely to be more understanding than you initially perceive- for example, imagine if one of your friends or relatives confided in you about this type of thing- chances are, you'd be relieved that they told you instead of struggling alone, and you would want to help them. Even just opening up to someone can help you greatly- when you've been carrying around this pent-up hurt and this secret for a long time, you can feel so much better after getting it off your chest. Although most people would advise you to tell your parents, I think that unless they are very understanding about this sort of thing, their initial reaction as parents will be to make you stop, and you may feel a little clausterphobic around them if they are always watching you. I agree that they should know, but maybe to start with, confide in someone who you feel most comfortable talking to- they don't have to be extremely close to you or anything- if theres one person you can think of who might understand, just give it a try. If you do decide to tell your teacher, just be prepared and realise that she is legally obliged to tell your parents, no matter how much she doesn't want to. As an under 18 in particular, a teacher is responsible for you while at school and therefore has to do her best to make sure you're ok, which does lead to informing other people. However, don't be put off by this. If you don't feel comfortable talking to friends or siblings etc, then a teacher could really, really help you out. You do need to tell someone, and sometimes the security of an authoritative figure such as a teacher can be just what you need.

    I don't think I really self-harm as such, so I don't know how to advise you, but I do seem to have self-destructive tendancies, in a way, so I sort of understand how you feel. It seems to just be the way I am- I am ridiculously shy and get nervous about even saying hello to someone, and therefore don't have friends- I feel isolated and frustrated when trying to communicate, I barely speak, I generally don't show emotion but when I get really frustrated, I tend to hit myself or silly things like that, I overexercise, and have eating disorder tendencies too; yet I mask all this very well and no-one ever really suspects that I do this to myself- I seem normal asides from the obvious shyness. Basically, what I'm trying to show you is that I bottle all this up, and it's not good. Few things are more frustrating and isolating as self hate as you can never escape from it. I seriously advise to tell someone before things get even more out of hand for you, and before you lose the will to stop; that's when things really get out of control. Now that you want to stop, you need to get help. It probably won't be as scary as it seems- the problem is a lot more common than people realise.

    I wish you all the best xx

    Also, although not everyone feels this way, I find that prayer can really help. If you want, just give it a try, particularly if you feel that you've no-one to turn to. It helped me a lot more than I'd expected, particularly seeing as I was very sceptic at the time.
 
 
 
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