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Former best friend giving me the cold shoulder watch

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    I think this is going to be long and boring, but it's confusing me and I'd really appreciate some advice.

    I have known this guy since we were in our early teens.At first I had a crush on him and over the time we became very close friends and we've been like that for a few years. We would tell each other everything, talk everyday, jokingly flirt, tease each other, spend a lot of time together even when he had a long-term girlfriend, and so on.We had a sort of complicity, we had "our" jokes, our topics and so on.
    Twice until now we tried to have a sort of relationship, it was always him who initiated it, but also ended it, last time without any closure, and since then it's been really awkward.

    He just suddenly became more reserved in the way he acted towards me, of course I got angry and I felt like an idiot and quite resentful towards him, but we never openly discussed it.When he started being interested in someone, I felt awfully jealous, I ignored him for a few days, and I somehow got over it.Ok, I get it, if he ever liked me, he obviously doesn't anymore.

    It's been a few months now and I try to act just as I would act to any other friend.But he is being so blatantly cold towards me, it's rude.It's as if I've done something wrong, and not him.He now always avoids sitting next to me, doesn't invite me to go out alone anymore, generally doesn't do anything he used to do for years.I once casually asked him what's wrong and he shrugged it off.It hurts me so much, I just want everything to be the same as before, I don't even think I like him in that way now, I just want my best friend back.I try to act like northing's wrong but I'm invariably more distant myself.I feel more at ease with people I barely know than with him.Now the conversation drags when it's just the two of us, and I get so annoyed because he is formal and quiet, or keeps doing small talk and I just can't be bothered to be witty or funny or attentive when he is being so unnatural.
    I don't know what he wants either because he still tries to talk to me, but most of the time it's awkward and painful, and he looks uncomfortable.At other times, we even make malicious comments towards each and rarely we manage to relax and talk at length and crack jokes.
    I hate him now, but I don't want to.I'm sick of this story. I feel that if we carry on like this we'll be strangers in a few months, and it would be such a waste...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think this is going to be long and boring, but it's confusing me and I'd really appreciate some advice.

    I have known this guy since we were in our early teens.At first I had a crush on him and over the time we became very close friends and we've been like that for a few years. We would tell each other everything, talk everyday, jokingly flirt, tease each other, spend a lot of time together even when he had a long-term girlfriend, and so on.We had a sort of complicity, we had "our" jokes, our topics and so on.
    Twice until now we tried to have a sort of relationship, it was always him who initiated it, but also ended it, last time without any closure, and since then it's been really awkward.

    He just suddenly became more reserved in the way he acted towards me, of course I got angry and I felt like an idiot and quite resentful towards him, but we never openly discussed it.When he started being interested in someone, I felt awfully jealous, I ignored him for a few days, and I somehow got over it.Ok, I get it, if he ever liked me, he obviously doesn't anymore.

    It's been a few months now and I try to act just as I would act to any other friend.But he is being so blatantly cold towards me, it's rude.It's as if I've done something wrong, and not him.He now always avoids sitting next to me, doesn't invite me to go out alone anymore, generally doesn't do anything he used to do for years.I once casually asked him what's wrong and he shrugged it off.It hurts me so much, I just want everything to be the same as before, I don't even think I like him in that way now, I just want my best friend back.I try to act like northing's wrong but I'm invariably more distant myself.I feel more at ease with people I barely know than with him.Now the conversation drags when it's just the two of us, and I get so annoyed because he is formal and quiet, or keeps doing small talk and I just can't be bothered to be witty or funny or attentive when he is being so unnatural.
    I don't know what he wants either because he still tries to talk to me, but most of the time it's awkward and painful, and he looks uncomfortable.At other times, we even make malicious comments towards each and rarely we manage to relax and talk at length and crack jokes.
    I hate him now, but I don't want to.I'm sick of this story. I feel that if we carry on like this we'll be strangers in a few months, and it would be such a waste...
    I had a kind of awkward scenario like that with one of my best friends. We grew up together and I was so afraid I'd lost my childhood friend over it.

    He could just be worried that you still have feelings for him, which is making him act awkwardly around you. You say you didn't get any closure, so don't expect things to go back to the way they were that quickly. Statistically, the people who dump their partner feel more guilty about it so that could explain his behaviour?

    Friendships as close as you describe are usually pretty durable... but it could take time and (dare I say it) some distance between you might be what you need. After you've spent time out of each other's company for a while, you can strike up a conversation with him as though you simply lost contact. That way you'll have loads of new and interesting things to steer the conversation away from this awkward time...
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    i havent read it, but if its a guy, buy 2x6 packs ang go around his have some beer and talk about it, that always sorts out most stuff for me XD
 
 
 
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