The Friend Zone... Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
#1
I am completely in it... There this girl I've known for almost 18 months. When we first met, we were really close friends, an there wasn't a day went by that we didn't talk or txt each other. Then about a year ago, I realised what that she really liked me, so I eventually got the courage together (I'm not exactly the most confident of guys) an asked her out. We had about 6 months where it was great, but then I went away for a month on trip with scouts, an when I got back she'd completely changed her opinion... She doesn't see me that way any more, she just wants us to be friends. My problem is, she still treats me like a boyfriend, hugs an kisses on the cheek an stuff, but if I even think about anything further, she gets pissed off an asks me "how many times do I have to tell you? I just want to be friends"

so first off, is it just me who thinks she's being a little too flirtacious for it to just be friends? An second, any tips on getting out of he he'll hole that is 'the friend zone'?
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Dutchmeister
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#2
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Sounds very flirtacious....been there (still am there actually).....f'ing confusing to say the least.

Oh, and if you find a good way to get out of that friendzone, you'd be a rich man.
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Double Agent
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To be honest this is one friends zone I dont think you will get out of, because you have already been in a relationship. I think you need to set the boundaries if its making you uncomfortable at this sort of in between stage, you either want a relationship or pure friendship. You need to watch here that she doesnt take advantage of your feelings, still getting from you everything she did from your relationship but without the commitment.
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IamMichael
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#4
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Hey

I'm in the same sort of position. One of my friends and I got really close, and everyone assumed we would start dating because we were perfect for each other, but we never started because she didn't see me in that way. she treats me in the same way, just a little more sometimes, like for example, when we were getting ready to go the prom together, i was hanging my suit up in my wardrobe and we started wrestling on my bed, we had 'the moment' so many times, but i never acted on it because i respected her and her wish for friendship.

it's a crap hole to be in mate but the only way to get out of it to admit it's the only hole you're going to get into :P sorry for the pun/terminology

i wish you luck with it mate, it sounds like you have your hands full
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Wednesday Bass
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The friend soze is a horrible place. Once you're in it's almost impossible to get out. Just move on, nothing will come of staying where you are at the moment.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dutchmeister)
Sounds very flirtacious....been there (still am there actually).....f'ing confusing to say the least.

Oh, and if you find a good way to get out of that friendzone, you'd be a rich man.
Your damn right on the f'kin confusing front... I have no idea what she wants, she treats me as though she wants more, i mean SHE goes to hold MY hand when we're walking! But then as soon as things start getting interesting, she finds something to say that completely ruins it... The other day, we had a moment when things looked good, but I was crappin myself because of all the times shes turned me down before, so rather than doing anything i made a joke, an she took it completely out of context, but still as a joke, an left me stunned into silence. i swear i could feel my heart being stamped on...
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A_master
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#7
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You need to man up son.
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TrueScarlett
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(Original post by Double Agent)
To be honest this is one friends zone I dont think you will get out of, because you have already been in a relationship. I think you need to set the boundaries if its making you uncomfortable at this sort of in between stage, you either want a relationship or pure friendship. You need to watch here that she doesnt take advantage of your feelings, still getting from you everything she did from your relationship but without the commitment.
I agree with this. It's not fair on you.
I too am am trying not to be in the friendzone at the moment but I don't know if he's getting the message, hopefully he will soon.
I was always told that the best way to get into a relationship with someone is to become good friends first but I am doubting this now, what does everyone else think?
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Anonymous #1
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Anon fail
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alexa123
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I kiss friends on the cheek, it's just what me and my close friends do- regardless of being male or female! But if it's not what she does to everyone that is a close friend then it's not really fair on you. i also think maybe she should keep her distance with things like that if you had a thing before and now she claims she just wants to be friends. Maybe you should try explaining to her why she should change her behaviour if she does just want to be friends, otherwise things aren't gonna get better and you will just stay oh so confused!
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emanuel_arsenalfc
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once you're in the friend zone you're stuck for life..just actually do what it says on the tin..be a great friend because she will actually need you in times to come..

speaking from great experience here..
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9MmBulletz
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#12
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start seeing other women- she'll see other women will find you attractive and will be at least curious. But forget about her because you'll become obsessed
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La Môme
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(Original post by TrueScarlett)
I agree with this. It's not fair on you.
I too am am trying not to be in the friendzone at the moment but I don't know if he's getting the message, hopefully he will soon.
I was always told that the best way to get into a relationship with someone is to become good friends first but I am doubting this now, what does everyone else think?
I think the foundation of a truly good relationship is a strong friendship. I'm in the same boat as you, it's a tad bit trickier, but I'm very very much in the Friend Zone in my situation. There's a limit, I think--if you keep holding onto the friendship in the hope that it'll flip into a relationship...you'll end up with a best friend and nothing else!

Guys can be more than a little clueless (gee, that sounds patronising), so unless there are mitigating circumstances...maybe try making a move?
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TrueScarlett
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(Original post by La Môme)
I think the foundation of a truly good relationship is a strong friendship. I'm in the same boat as you, it's a tad bit trickier, but I'm very very much in the Friend Zone in my situation. There's a limit, I think--if you keep holding onto the friendship in the hope that it'll flip into a relationship...you'll end up with a best friend and nothing else!

Guys can be more than a little clueless (gee, that sounds patronising), so unless there are mitigating circumstances...maybe try making a move?
I suppose I'm just postponing that limit as much as possible because I've never been in a relationship before so I don't have the confidence to make a really overt move.
It's a little bit complicated because he is in a long distance relationship (it sounds like it's ending though) and he's a very reserved person when it comes to showing feelings, as am I. My lack of experience is a real hindrance because it makes it doubly difficult for me to read the whole situation and then figure out what to do about it. I've mainly joined TSR to try to read about relationship related stuff to help me out!
Hope your situation is a bit simpler and that it goes the way that both of us want!
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 8 years ago
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(Original post by TrueScarlett)
I suppose I'm just postponing that limit as much as possible because I've never been in a relationship before so I don't have the confidence to make a really overt move.
It's a little bit complicated because he is in a long distance relationship (it sounds like it's ending though) and he's a very reserved person when it comes to showing feelings, as am I. My lack of experience is a real hindrance because it makes it doubly difficult for me to read the whole situation and then figure out what to do about it. I've mainly joined TSR to try to read about relationship related stuff to help me out!
Hope your situation is a bit simpler and that it goes the way that both of us want!
You think thats complicated? Did I mention that what I had with her was long distance too? So, Im not exactly confident, we've already had a relationship that just find of ended with no closure what so ever, I still think the world of her, Iv made ridiculous mistakes with her in the past, and this is all happening over roughly 250 miles. Neither of us can drive, an I certainly cant afford the train...
Oh, and just to make things SO much more awkward, the university that I like most just happens to also be where she lives... (Id already chosen it as my favourite before I got into a relationship with her, so please dont go on about me being desperate and choosing a university just because shes there...)
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