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Awkward situation coming up watch

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    I have a rather awkward situation coming up and I am not sure what I should do in it:
    I'm in my second year of uni and I am living in a house. I am originally from a continental European nation and some of my former classmates also came to study in various parts of the UK.
    Anyway, this one girl has decided to come visit the city I am studying in and I have agreed to let her stay at my place during that time which means we'll be sleeping in the same room.
    Background on me: Supervirgin- hopeless at flirting, never gone on a date, never kissed, never "done the deed". You get the picture...
    She: The complete opposite. Has been with a lot of guys (including a good friend of mine who used to be just like me until she de-virginized him). She even tried hitting on me back in school but I refused her.
    She's quite intelligent and she's not ugly, far from it, but she's not the prettiest of the bunch either. Were she prettier, I would not be asking this.
    Anyway, I have a strong hunch that during her time here, I might have a very good chance of finally getting started with the physical side of romance (its about time considering I am 21 and have done absolutely nothing). However she's not the no.1 girl I'd like to have all my "first times" with but not a completely horrible choice either.

    A question to the general audience: What would you do in this situation? Give in to her (should the situation come up) or wait for someone more special (which to be perfectly honest at my current rate of life might not happen until I make it to CEO of Barclays)?
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    I think the answer here is obvious - wait for the right person to come along. Why rush into doing stuff with a girl you don't even find yourself that attracted to? Seems pointless to me.

    P.S. Loving the word "de-virginized"!
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    Well you've waited this long so you might as well wait for something special.

    That said, I lost my virginity quite late (17) to a woman in her late 20s who had obviously been with a fair few men. I regretted it at the time, but after a short while it didn't bother me at all... it just got the ball rolling, really.
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    go for it.
    its about time
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    When the 'right girl' comes along, surely you'll want to have all the awkward, I-don't-know-what-to-do, is-this-how-it-should-be-going stuff out of the way so you can woo/impress her. This girl sounds like the perfect person to give you a tutorial on the physical stuff.
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    Hmm, well i was recently in a fairly similar situation (though I am 16 not 21)... but i must say that my thought process was very similar to yours... finding someone special or special enough... and i must say that even now, though i have gone through most, minus the final deed, I still will only do things with someone that 1) i like in an attractive way, 2) I actually do like meaning it will be more meaningful and in my theory and belief alot more enjoyable.

    I say, that whatever happens, go with the flow, if you feel like your emotions and feelings for her actually do increase then why not, at least then it really is like your first is extremely lovely, like in my opinion you should enjoy your first time doing most and what better way than with someone you know and are close enough to, attractive enough to not be at the bottom of the pile, she has experience she if anything, as long as you go with the flow and pay attention you may get a headstart compared to some... but just relax with her, and if there are times when you guys get closer, try just enjoy those moments and embrace them with a light tickle (like stroke tickle not laugh tickle) and just get her to get interested, but don't make any major moves, build the tension even for yourself and don't expect to get anything out of it otherwise slight disappointment will set in.


    My experience: This one girl, met last december, she is pretty cute, not the most amazing person I have ever seen, but enough to get me interested... anyway nothing happened. But I see her again this year (btw, she is from overseas and came here), and first night we just chatted, and though i do flirt naturally, i am unable to flirt when trying to, so i just kidded around and caught up. second night i mentioned that i am apparently good at massaging etc, and she allowed me to massage her later in the evening, with some tickling etc. 3rd night was the night though almost actually lost hope by now, but we were on this couch and she lay down where her head was just on my knee, but yea, she was just chilling, so i went to give her a slight head massage type thing plus various tickling styles (always go for slightly sensitive spots) and after reading enough of her body language and building enough tension, I went in for a kiss and it all went well from there.

    So seriously, try chill, play it by ear and do try get to a certain step unless you are pretty much feeling something... but yea good luck bru
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    (Original post by rscully)
    When the 'right girl' comes along, surely you'll want to have all the awkward, I-don't-know-what-to-do, is-this-how-it-should-be-going stuff out of the way so you can woo/impress her. This girl sounds like the perfect person to give you a tutorial on the physical stuff.
    I have no doubt in my mind that she'll be a great tutor and I really would like to give my right girl a good time whenever she may come along but from another angle, I do place at least some value on the special-ness of the first time.
    I am so confused.
    A stupid add on question- should I have a pack of condoms ready just in case anything does go down?
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    I would go with it. It sounds like you could do a lot worse, it gets over that hurdle in your mind that you are inexpereienced, whilst giving you a boost of confidence, did for me anyways.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have no doubt in my mind that she'll be a great tutor and I really would like to give my right girl a good time whenever she may come along but from another angle, I do place at least some value on the special-ness of the first time.
    I am so confused.
    A stupid add on question- should I have a pack of condoms ready just in case anything does go down?
    I really don't understand this who thing about the first time being special. Most people I know would call it a embarrassing and awkward situation better forgotten about and chalked down to one of those life experiences every has to go through.

    And yes, get some condoms.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A stupid add on question- should I have a pack of condoms ready just in case anything does go down?
    Thats a good idea yes, and make sure you know how to use them.:yes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have no doubt in my mind that she'll be a great tutor and I really would like to give my right girl a good time whenever she may come along but from another angle, I do place at least some value on the special-ness of the first time.
    I am so confused.
    A stupid add on question- should I have a pack of condoms ready just in case anything does go down?
    well dude, all i can say is that you try learn things from her, but maybe hold back on certain aspects and try find what really seems to work (seemed to work for me, never did anything, and right from the moment I first made out with someone, she had no clue i was even a first timer lol... but seriously does build confidence)

    Well for your question, you really need to decide on what you want... like i made sure i left my condoms so i didn't get too tempted to do anything quite just yet since i did pretty much everything except last base in a matter of a week. But if you want to feel free to keep a few handy.
    And about what someone else said, the first time is still able to be special, all my first moments so far have remained extremely special, since I was able to get both of us in the right mind set to allow us to let go and relax and for everything to happen naturally. I always expected it to be kinda awkward at first, but it turned out totally differently even when i was offered sex, i didn't feel uncomfortable, and though the girl had been there, that wasn't too uncomfortable for her obviously lol
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    I say go for it man. I think you're more likely to regret a chance missed than a chance taken.
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    (Original post by rscully)
    When the 'right girl' comes along, surely you'll want to have all the awkward, I-don't-know-what-to-do, is-this-how-it-should-be-going stuff out of the way so you can woo/impress her. This girl sounds like the perfect person to give you a tutorial on the physical stuff.
    this is certainly how I think
    if you want to get with her and she wants to get with you- just as long as you are both clear on where you stand afterwards (ie whether or not it's just for fun/a relationship ect) then I don't see why not
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    Well the obvious thing to do is ask your de-virgined friend if he thought it was a good experience or if he had any regrets.
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    (Original post by sidi)
    Well the obvious thing to do is ask your de-virgined friend if he thought it was a good experience or if he had any regrets.
    He absolutely loved it even though they didn't end up staying together for very long.
    Though then again he is many ways quite different form me so what worked for him might not work for me.
    Anyhow after considerable thought, I am leaning towards not doing anything with her. We'll just have a good time together but no physical stuff. Call me a hopeless romantic if you will but I want my first time to be with a special girl. I haven't done anything with a female for the past 21 years so I think I can wait a bit longer.
    Life is not always a checklist where you tick boxes for things you've done.
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    Prepare to be de-virginised.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He absolutely loved it even though they didn't end up staying together for very long.
    Though then again he is many ways quite different form me so what worked for him might not work for me.
    Anyhow after considerable thought, I am leaning towards not doing anything with her. We'll just have a good time together but no physical stuff. Call me a hopeless romantic if you will but I want my first time to be with a special girl. I haven't done anything with a female for the past 21 years so I think I can wait a bit longer.
    Life is not always a checklist where you tick boxes for things you've done.
    I must reply to that with this: The right person doesn't always show up straight away (ie, you can't always tell whether she is the right one straight away or not)... I have to say experience it. Cause if you continue waiting, you may miss the right person by mistake, always try be ready.

    But good luck with whatever you do end up deciding
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    (Original post by Rick-Raith)
    I must reply to that with this: The right person doesn't always show up straight away (ie, you can't always tell whether she is the right one straight away or not)... I have to say experience it. Cause if you continue waiting, you may miss the right person by mistake, always try be ready.

    But good luck with whatever you do end up deciding
    I agree with that but I know 100% that she is not the right person (as I said- she used to be a classmate so I do know her to some extent).
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    (Original post by Tetrahydro)
    Well you've waited this long so you might as well wait for something special.

    That said, I lost my virginity quite late (17) to a woman in her late 20s who had obviously been with a fair few men. I regretted it at the time, but after a short while it didn't bother me at all... it just got the ball rolling, really.
    17 is late???

    To the OP, if you are waiting for the special someone then by all means wait. It is not a big deal, regardless of what people may tell you or say. Do not give into her (if things happen to go that way..) unless you find yourself genuinely attracted to and interested in her. Otherwise, you may end up feeling like another 'virgin conquest'.
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    (Original post by Jayjayjay)
    17 is late???

    To the OP, if you are waiting for the special someone then by all means wait. It is not a big deal, regardless of what people may tell you or say. Do not give into her (if things happen to go that way..) unless you find yourself genuinely attracted to and interested in her. Otherwise, you may end up feeling like another 'virgin conquest'.
    Well it was 3 weeks before I turned 18. I think I gave in to the pressure not to be an 18-year-old virgin, but I honestly don't regret it. I guess it depends on the value one places on virginity, and as such, I don't want to advise him either way. At the end of the day, only he can gauge the emotional toll this might take.
 
 
 
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