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In deep deep pain and dont want to carry on watch

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    #1

    I have no one to talk to. The only person who ever listened and cared was my long distance bf, but he has told me that his parents probably wont allow him to be with me, so he thinks we should think about ending it as he doesnt want to "hurt me". I am devastated, he's the only person who's ever shown love to me and I've trusted completely, he's my best friend even though we don't see each other much, he has spoken to me and helped me through my depression etc.

    I am now totally alone and in deep pain. I don't want to feel the pain any longer, i've cut myself as i prefer physical pain rather than internal. I have absolutely no one now, and no one even cares about me. Ive always been shy and he made me happier by caring an i felt like i finally have someone.

    I don't know what to do. I've tried hobbies before but i dont like doing anything. I have no reason to carry on, I just feel pain and sadness. I need someone to talk to. I guess im asking for any advice and i need to tell someone this cos i feel like im trapped in the prison of my own mind. Help me
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    You need to find a hobby. What did you enjoy when you were younger? I don't think it's possible to not have any interest in anything, it may be the case that your unhappiness is hazing your mind over.

    Cutting yourself isn't going to help in the long-term - it's far better for you to tackle the problem head-on. I know how difficult this is but a bit of willpower can go a long way. :yes:
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    It's not that you don't like anything it's that you don't have the motivation to do anything. That's what depression does to you. I'm a qualified counsellor so please PM me if there's anything you need to know. I can arrange counselling with myself or a colleague if you're interested. Just PM.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    suicide is a wimps way out, say to yourself you know what [your name] **** it, I could be in a worse situation, think about the now orphans in haiti they have nothing, i doubt many of those will be considering suicide.

    **** you
    you don't have a clue what it's like to be the OP. are you the OP? if not, how can you have any idea about how they see things, feel and respond to life naturally...for all you know, the OP could actually be worse off than the orphans in Haiti. every second for the OP could be complete agony, beyond anything which the outside world could inflict. you just don't know.
    don't try to guilt trip. it won't help. the OP is already feeling crap.
    • #3
    #3

    I'd like to be able to offer support and advice OP, but I feel exactly the same. I'm just waiting to find the courage to do something about it. I have no friends or a partner to make the pain easier, just my Mum who is an absolute witch and my Dad who made me so messed in the first place.

    And I want to scream in the faces of people that try and make me empathise with other people, like people in Haiti. Call me selfish but I care about my own situation, but I don't care enough about it even then. Yeah it's a great shame but this world is too charitable, you have to look after number one and THEN start to empathise with others.
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    Even tho you feel really down can you get an evening job or something to occupy a bit of your time? Go to the gym or out for a walk to try and vary your boredom. Sorry I can't think of much else.
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    Cut yourself as you prefer physical pain to emotional? seriously are you nuts?
    What does self harm ever achieve :facepalm:

    Family comes before stupid psycho self harming girlfriend, if you can't respect that then you'll just find yourself in this position every time this sort of situation arises. If you're so dependant on a relationship/partner to live your life then I pity you...that's one of the weakest qualities a person can have, to not be able to survive alone. You should use this as a character building, confidence gaining opportunity. A boyfriend should just be a small, small part of your life.

    See what happens when you put all your eggs in one basket? :rolleyes: where's your ''if you love eachother you'll stay together no matter what'' bullcrap now?
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    “Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live.”

    You're being an idiot. No one's going to come out of the blue to save your life, you have to assert yourself and make people care about you. What you're doing now is counter-productive and really isn't necessary. Try counseling if you haven't already.
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    Hey
    It's ok. The world is full of lonely and confused and scared people. It's 'normal', whatever that means, but that doesn't mean that you should let it control you.

    As daunting as it may feel at the time, you should go out and meet people. I know what it's like to be lonely and shy and to have no-one to talk to; I know how frustrating it feels. However, when no-one's making the effort to speak to you, you have to go out and put in the effort yourself. You can do this in loads of ways. It's not always guaranteed to be 100% successful- but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Most of the time, I can barely say hello someone without getting overly shy and nervous, and I spent a long time not talking to anyone at all outside my immediate family, but then I wanted to change, and joined extra-curricular things and got a job, and I'm trying to communicate more- it's a lot easier once you get used to it, and people are often a lot more understanding than you originally percieve. No-one lives a life free from problems. You could get a job, you could do some voluntary work, you could join a gym etc. Even if you really don't want to pursue a 'hobby' as such, ie. sport/music/art/computers or something, you could still find a society of some sort if you looked in the right places. At some stage in your life, you must have been interested in something- perhaps a charity, religion, a film, or even just something like animal rights etc- go to your local library or do a bit of research online relating to this interest, and if there's a society for it in your area, then join it; if there isn't a society in your area, then make one! Why not? There's nothing to lose! It could be a great opportunity for you to do something worthwhile and to gain some selfworth in the process.

    If you're feeling low enough to consider suicide, then you really need to take drastic action to help yourself. What's stopping you from doing what it takes to make yourself feel happy? You said you want to be with this long-distance boyfriend but his parents won't allow it. Why don't you get a job (unless you already have enough money), even just a few hours here and there, save up enough money, then go out there and visit him! Fight to be with him! Why not?! It may not be easy, but if you're not willing to try it, then how is it ever going to work? If he's the one thing you feel motivated about at present, then it's up to you to make things work. In this world, things aren't going to just get handed to you. Life is too short to sit around waiting for things to happen- you have to work, and you have to put in the effort, and believe me, it will happen if you try hard enough.

    I know that it's hard when you're alone, but seriously, don't give up. Think of something you'd like to happen in the future, something you want to do, or something you dream of doing, eg. your dream job, or having a family, or visiting a certain place, or meeting a certain person; focus your attention on making that happen! If your not going to live for the present or the past, then live for the future- don't give up on something that isn't even there yet.

    Good luck, and feel free to pm me if you want to talk to someone.
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    Get help?

    Go see your doctor/get councilling
    Call up a helpline to talk to someone (samaritans etc)
    You arent alone if you dont want to be, there are plenty of people out there to listen and help. You just have to be willing to go find it.....

    There are millions of people in the world who feel like you, everyone has their demons.
    It passes....even when it seems impossible!
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Playboy King)
    Cut yourself as you prefer physical pain to emotional? seriously are you nuts?
    What does self harm ever achieve :facepalm:
    Self harm is a much better alternative than going all the way. I am not endorsing self harm btw. Having a history of self harming, I can relate to what the OP says. It gives you a release which makes you feel better but immediately regret doing right after.

    Family comes before stupid psycho self harming girlfriend, if you can't respect that then you'll just find yourself in this position every time this sort of situation arises. If you're so dependant on a relationship/partner to live your life then I pity you...that's one of the weakest qualities a person can have, to not be able to survive alone. You should use this as a character building, confidence gaining opportunity. A boyfriend should just be a small, small part of your life.

    See what happens when you put all your eggs in one basket? :rolleyes: where's your ''if you love eachother you'll stay together no matter what'' bullcrap now?
    No one chooses to be emotionally dependent on their partners. I have always been fiercely independent but I imagine I'll be pretty devastated too if my bf ended our relationship for whatever reason. And the last part just sounds bitter. Are you saying the OP should have invested in more than one relationship? :indiff:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Are you saying the OP should have invested in more than one relationship? :indiff:
    No, I'm saying the OP shouldn't have been so naive and should be sensible enough to be realistic about relationships. To think and expect a relationship to last forever is just foolish, you should take a relationship for what it is and only care for the present...not for the future and how long it will hopefully last.
 
 
 
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