Turn on thread page Beta

How do I tell my dad I'm not marrying the guy he wants me to marry? watch

Announcements
    Offline

    10
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In order for my dad to accept the guy that I chose, he has to be of a certain strict criteria, and that's almost impossible to find!

    My dad's brainwashed, a year back (When I had no clue about this) I heard that guy did some disgusting things, Me and my brother told my dad, and he refused to believe it he goes, "no, it's not true".

    I have about a year.

    I'm thinking sooner is better than later, i'm going to have to do it and talk to him
    =(

    It's horrible having someone control your life like that. To be honest, anything you do would have to be extreme; like running away from home.

    Can't you move out? Go to a friends? Anyway you can prove to your dad what he did? What happens if you just refuse(you've probably already done that)?

    I know it sounds silly but can't you write your dad a note about not wanting to marry him? That way it's not as direct and confrontational. Was your dad/mom forced to marry each other?
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Keep Anon or delete please.
    My dad is very strict religiously and about everything!

    What if he kicks me out of the house, or never speaks to me again? He might try and use emotional blackmail on me too..

    Use religion against him for your own benefit! I'm serious! What does his religion say about treating daughters like dirt and forcing them into marriages? If you are Hindu/Muslim/Sikh (as it sounds like an Asian kinda situ) then you shouldn't have a problem - what is more important to him: his religion or his culture?

    I'm sick of people having such double standards, claiming to be so religious but as soon as it doesn't suit them it's all about what THEY want!
    • #7
    #7

    If he has not even approached you to tell you he is considering someone for you to marry, I don't see how you are being forced...

    ... and just talk to him. If you do not want to marry the guy, make it plain and more often than not they will respect your wishes.

    Once again, if you have not refused or made your side clear, it is not force.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    You should tackfully talk you dad around 'cause im guessing a simple 'no' won't do the trick, just how you'd like to chose your own husband Their are all these asian/hindu sisterhood group things that help girls in exactly your situation assuming you southasian. google it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    what country do you live in? i guess that plays a role.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it's true, because i've talked to my aunty about it, and she said she can only advise him, nothing more. When she talked to him on the phone, she said "don't force your children into marriage" and he went quiet and changed the topic.

    I want to talk to him about it though, because the guy and his family think im there daughter-in-law already, I don't want to leave it till too long, and then them saying "well you made us wait!" It's just gonna cause so much problems

    Thank you
    Convince the guy that you are promiscuous without actually confirming anything... Just drop hints... He'll run a mile! :yep:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    If your dad cant accept that you love someone else he is not a good dad to you and he dosnt deserve you in his life...
    • #8
    #8

    Right. This sounds very worrying. You need to seek the advice of an organisation that can help you. Get in contact with then roght now before it is too late. If your Dad wants to take you on 'holiday' then I would hope that they could do something to stop this happening. If it gets as serious as you having to leave home then they can provide accommodation for you and help you find a new identity and somewhere to go.
    Hopefully it wont come to that though and the advice they give you now will make a difference!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 17, 2010
Poll
Do you think parents should charge rent?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.