I posted a similar thread in HR earlier but I jsut felt like posting another one generally in Uni discussion. It's gonna be a bit long so sorry.
Basically I've come back to Uni after Xmas and some people have been asking me about where I'm going next year. Before Xmas I thought it was clear that I was moving in with 7 other guys. I only live with 1 of the other 7 currently in my flat. Anyways to cut a long story short, there was alot of ye maybe perhaps, sort of talk. But I was still told that we'd be looking for a place etc, now talking to my flatmate now on facebook I find he's already put himself down for a place, and apparently 6 of them have and I'm just thinking, what! He also sent me this 'I got a facebook message 'why dont you book the accom with those mates and get the flat across from us?'' Why wasn't I told?! I feel very awkward around all of them now, because beforehand I was already suspicious that somehow they weren't that keen for me to live with them so to even ring them up and ask about it is something that would make me feel very uncomfortable. I just didn't think it would end up like this, and I feel very sad abuot how it's panned out and I don't think it's fair I was treated like this. It's weird because I get along with these guys, I just wish I knew why they weren't being straight with me.
They want me to hang out with them and act as if everything is fine, but the way they've played me along to please me is not right.
The worst thing about this all is the options that are left. I agreed moving in with these 7 guys back in November. Seeing as it's already 2nd term, most people have their flatmates sorted and/or in the process of sorting it out already. My closest mate, and a couple others could have done a house share but I found it it got to the stage where they have already sort of organised what they're doing.
Now I feel like utter **** because this is not what Uni should be about, I'm already stuck in a flat with all internationals and absolutely no girls, and now I'm ******* on by what I thought were my mates in the 2nd term, whilst everyone else seems to have found a group they fit into, and whom they will live with next year. And I can (potentially) still move in with 1 maybe 2 other little groups of about 3 people, but it just means I'll have to settle for things which I don't want (which I might have to accept, but still) such as living far away from the Uni, living in huose compard to 2nd year private owned accom type thing where all students are, being with very few people, and although it's with people I like, both are very boring/unsociable type. You know the type of people who just keep themselves to themselves and aren't in any real social group and know no girls, instead just hanging around with each other, it's just boring. Whilst this may sound harsh, I am thinking about how I can enjoy my time at Uni further, meet more people and living with either group is not going to see any real parties with the right sort of people or opportunities to meet new people and just generally be a student (although I appreciate and fully aware 2nd year is not the same as 1st). In addition I am sort of similar to these little groups, not that I'm boring or unsociable but that I can be quite shy and don't know many girls .. so why I don't want to live with them is because a part of me myself wants to snap out of the little circle I operate in and widen my social circle, but it's not going to work with these guys. It's all about social dynamics. Put it this way, I have the potential to become someone who can relate to many different types of people, and I don't want to stay in that tiny circle sort of thing. I want to make the most of my time at Uni, what's wrong with that?
And regardless of that one both groups I'm just not close enough to to even want to live with them, I don't even consider them to be 'friends', just pals I know of, only 1/2 people in both groups do I consider an actual friend.
The bottom line is, I feel stuck in a mess and I realy want to enjoy my time at Uni and moving in with the RIGHT people will certainly help that. I would be massively disappointed if I had to live with people I didn't really fancy living with. I'm well aware that say in a month's time I could be wondering what I was worrying about. But still, there's not much you guys can say but has anyone been in a similar position? Does anyone have a different perspective on the situation having had experience with this sort of situation in the 2nd year? It could be that the 2nd year for example isn't as bad as I thought simply because my everyone's far more busy working (for example).
At the minute I just feel utterly crap, I'm not enjoying Uni, it's like everything is set up for me to fail and the powers up above just are in support of this by landing me in **** situations at Uni all the time. No positives to take so far. Average course, average social life, dispicabally crap flatmates, no girls and full of chinese guys on my floor who don't talk let alone go out, SFinance not giving me my money, crap city etc.
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Just feel like something wants me to fail watch
- Thread Starter
Last edited by Maestro*; 16-01-2010 at 22:23.
- 16-01-2010 22:21
- Thread Starter
- 18-01-2010 04:38
bump, sorry i'm just desperate for any sort of advice.
- 20-01-2010 09:27
Moving in with small groups of people can be good, I'm doing it next year as a lot of my closest friends will be abroad, and I figure that because we won't be one group at first, we'll all have different social circles. Basically you need to do something about it: if you're not happy with something, say, be proactive and speak to other people about next year's accommodation... a lot of people's flatmates in first year are awful, I know mine were, and internationals do keep themselves to themselves.
However, if you're not actually enjoying your course, then you need to question why you are there in the first place. Yes it's good to live with people you get along with, but you also need to enjoy your course, your social life. You're only in semester one, throw yourself into societies, speak to randomers around your halls, on different floors or blocks, and the situation can be changed