Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    just wanted to express some of my thougths and feelings on here, and hope you don't mind sharing them perhaps some advise will be greatly appriciated.
    i feel lonely as the title suggests...i'm a 19 years old girl who just wants to enjoy life, go out and meet people, and recently i met someone (on new year's eve) / We had a nice time and enjoyed each others company. But he is from Italy and we only got the chance to meet up once more before he went back. I knew right from the start that this relationship is impossible under the given curcuimstances, but i let myself believe that i can just enjoy the moment while it lasts, not thinking about the curcuimstances. To make the story short..i have tried to ingnore thoughts about him for the past days, or even weeks now, but whenever i am on my own in a room i start reminding myself and how lonely i feel and that missing him, makes me feel even more sad. I have never had a boyfriend which i truly loved...but also never seemed to be so desparate to find one..now i am sitting here , confused and letting myself cry over past memories... Still keeping in touch with this person through messenger, and facebook doesn't seem to help as it only reminds me of him and the moments we shared together..
    I'M SORRY , for some this may be too long to read.. i wish i could say more, explain the situation more clearly but i hope you'd understand how i feel.

    what can i do, why am i so lonely? i just don't want to become depressed especially as i'm going back to university soon and have to begin concentrationg on my studies..

    any advise will be appriciated

    Thanks again for reading.....
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm not a professional, but I'll do my best.

    It's always sad, leaving someone you've grown fond of, but I think the most realistic way to look at such a situation is to feel happy that you had it in the first place. You say you just want to enjoy life: then do just that. This guy has contributed to your enjoyment, but he won't be the only one. Don't mourn the loss - appreciate what you had, learn from it and move on. I know it sounds easier said than done, but maybe you should cut down the amount of contact you have with him if the relationship is really this unrealistic due to distance. You risk becoming obsessed and this would be unhealthy. Most of all give yourself time, it's normal to feel like this for a while. Just don't let it turn into the focus of your attention. If this does happen, you should admit it to yourself and confide someone trustworthy for help.

    Unfortunately there is no choice in depression, but if you are worried you should see a professional. Don't feel silly, many counsellors only have a few sessions with patients - it's not always a long term thing - just a chat with someone who will understand.

    As for lonliness - is this likely to subside on return to uni? It could provide a helpful distraction. Not having "truly loved" any of your past boyfriends is no bad thing. In a kind of clinical way, those relationships are more like a selection process where you get a feel for your likes and dislikes in potential romantic partners. Embrace the experiences you go through, good and bad, and they will lead you to someone you truly love in the future. So, in your own words, "enjoy life, go out and meet people"!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    It's been and gone. Find someone new, I mean plenty of decent guys are around who can make you happy believe it or not.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    ^ Pretty much. It's not like your life's over and now no chance to find anyone - you're 19!! for goodness sake.
    Just get out there and find someone.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    just wanted to express some of my thougths and feelings on here, and hope you don't mind sharing them perhaps some advise will be greatly appriciated.
    i feel lonely as the title suggests...i'm a 19 years old girl who just wants to enjoy life, go out and meet people, and recently i met someone (on new year's eve) / We had a nice time and enjoyed each others company. But he is from Italy and we only got the chance to meet up once more before he went back. I knew right from the start that this relationship is impossible under the given curcuimstances, but i let myself believe that i can just enjoy the moment while it lasts, not thinking about the curcuimstances. To make the story short..i have tried to ingnore thoughts about him for the past days, or even weeks now, but whenever i am on my own in a room i start reminding myself and how lonely i feel and that missing him, makes me feel even more sad. I have never had a boyfriend which i truly loved...but also never seemed to be so desparate to find one..now i am sitting here , confused and letting myself cry over past memories... Still keeping in touch with this person through messenger, and facebook doesn't seem to help as it only reminds me of him and the moments we shared together..
    I'M SORRY , for some this may be too long to read.. i wish i could say more, explain the situation more clearly but i hope you'd understand how i feel.

    what can i do, why am i so lonely? i just don't want to become depressed especially as i'm going back to university soon and have to begin concentrationg on my studies..

    any advise will be appriciated

    Thanks again for reading.....
    You're at university? Why not try to meet someone there? By the way, most guys are as thick as two planks, so if you meet someone you like, you will probably have to make it quite clear that ur interested.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    :jumphug:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 17, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.