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    Does anyone have any advice in terms of dramatically sorting out your life? Bullet pointed to save time.

    My problems
    - No social life
    - **** with girls
    - Generally quite boring
    - Bored at home

    Action plan
    - Get banned from all forums I use
    - Read more, watch more films, learn to play guitar
    - Join gym to get stronger and fitter so I can play my sport again

    - Hopefully this will give me the confidence to go out and meet girls
    - Hopefully go somewhere in the summer, like America or somewhere

    My worries
    - Need to go out of comfort zone
    - Forget who I am/go over on who I am
    - Failure
    - I'll become not only border line depressed but fake and that

    So yeah any advice on anything would be awesome thanks.
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    Read read read! You'll thank me
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    I always plan to do this but never do it properly.

    I'm getting there slowly...got new clothes that actually suit me, hair cut, I talk to people more often now, started working out.

    Next step going out to clubs etc more often so I actually start to feel part of a group instead of a casual friend to everyone.

    Then if I get the courage ask the girl I really like out.

    I don't really know what advice I can give though seeing as I'm trying to do the same thing...good luck though.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Does anyone have any advice in terms of dramatically sorting out your life? Bullet pointed to save time.

    My problems
    - No social life
    - **** with girls
    - Generally quite boring
    - Bored at home

    Action plan
    - Get banned from all forums I use
    - Read more, watch more films, learn to play guitar
    - Join gym to get stronger and fitter so I can play my sport again

    - Hopefully this will give me the confidence to go out and meet girls
    - Hopefully go somewhere in the summer, like America or somewhere

    My worries
    - Need to go out of comfort zone
    - Forget who I am/go over on who I am
    - Failure
    - I'll become not only border line depressed but fake and that

    So yeah any advice on anything would be awesome thanks.
    There's two options for changing your life. You could do a self-development course like the Prince's Trust team programme (lasts 12 weeks, full-time), or a Tall Ships Youth Trust voyage (charity that teaches young people to sail at sea); or you could start reading self-help books for ideas and to inspire yourself. I've done both.

    You have to look at the reasons why you don't have a social life and why you are bored. If you want to be popular with girls, you're going to have to get your social life in order first. You need to develop your confidence and self-esteem. Working out at the gym might develop your confidence and self-esteem to a certain extent, but the best way to build on confidence, is to be social and interact with people. Practice, practice, practice.

    Alot of your targets seem very vague, you need to have a definite idea of what you want to achieve and then you need to make plans, to go about achieving those targets. And then you need to act on those plans.
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    So you plan to become more social by doing more introspective activities like reading, exercise and watching films? :eyebrow:
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    Go shopping?
    Retail therapy makes me feel better

    But seriously
    Exercise will make you feel better, releases all those hormones.
    Learning to play a guitar is also a good idea,new skills are a great talking point.
    Also reading, it will help broaden your mind etc.
    How about volunteering?
    That's a good way to meet people and will give you confidence.
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    Just being more sociable will help you alot, and will make you feel better Go out with mates, or tag along and make friends! just get more chatty and create friends.
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    Being able to play an instrument is a skill to have. So by all means go buy yourself a cheap guitar to start off with, buy yourself the Rockschool Grade 1 book and start learning, play it at uni or college, if you get good at it, advertise to form a band or something.
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    I like the bullet pointed format!
    As for advice, I feel literally the same as you in all areas at the moment.
    However, I am in the process of turning my life around. I have applied for a transfer of university, I am trying to lose more weight, I run/gym everyday, I have become a vegan, I am planning to travel in the summer, and I am not going to be fake anymore- I want to be 'me'.
    So, I guess you just need to grab the bull by the horns and face each problem individually. Hopefully once you get into the swing of things, your life will begin to take shape how you want it to. Thats my plan anyway.
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    Join a sports club instead of working out.
    Don't watch films, go to the cinema with people.
    Don't read, join a book club.

    Why bother getting banned from forums lol? I doubt that will make any difference.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by iwwhty)
    There's two options for changing your life. You could do a self-development course like the Prince's Trust team programme (lasts 12 weeks, full-time), or a Tall Ships Youth Trust voyage (charity that teaches young people to sail at sea); or you could start reading self-help books for ideas and to inspire yourself. I've done both.

    You have to look at the reasons why you don't have a social life and why you are bored. If you want to be popular with girls, you're going to have to get your social life in order first. You need to develop your confidence and self-esteem. Working out at the gym might develop your confidence and self-esteem to a certain extent, but the best way to build on confidence, is to be social and interact with people. Practice, practice, practice.

    Alot of your targets seem very vague, you need to have a definite idea of what you want to achieve and then you need to make plans, to go about achieving those targets. And then you need to act on those plans.
    See this is my dilemma. I don't think it would really be me to become conventionally sociable, I probably seem like a huge douche at this point. I just want to pursue things I find interesting but too lazy to properly do then hopefully from that I'll be a more interesting and confident person. I don't think I want to or ever will be the guy everyone wants to be associated with.

    I'm happy being a bit weird, but I'd rather be weird and interesting than just a boring loser.

    the reason its all so vague is I only have a vague idea of what I want, as everything is conflicting.

    Thanks to everyone though.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Does anyone have any advice in terms of dramatically sorting out your life? Bullet pointed to save time.

    My problems
    - No social life
    - **** with girls
    - Generally quite boring
    - Bored at home

    Action plan
    - Get banned from all forums I use
    - Read more, watch more films, learn to play guitar
    - Join gym to get stronger and fitter so I can play my sport again

    - Hopefully this will give me the confidence to go out and meet girls
    - Hopefully go somewhere in the summer, like America or somewhere

    My worries
    - Need to go out of comfort zone
    - Forget who I am/go over on who I am
    - Failure
    - I'll become not only border line depressed but fake and that

    So yeah any advice on anything would be awesome thanks.
    I'm doing the same...trying to sort my life out. By reading it it is all inter-linked, for example if you join a gym and play a sport you will feel more confident and will be more social and get a better social life hopefully. And getting an interest will stop you being as bored and get you out more.
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    Thats quite depressing. Well atleast u want to do something about it.

    How about:
    > Going places to meet new people. - They have no expectations of you so u can be who u want to be.

    Also, the added bonus of if u f*** up, and act like a total gimp, then they wont go on about it when u see them next.

    As for girls, think less, Think that you're good with them aka - fake it till u make it - its not as complicated as people make it out to be...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    See this is my dilemma. I don't think it would really be me to become conventionally sociable, I probably seem like a huge douche at this point. I just want to pursue things I find interesting but too lazy to properly do then hopefully from that I'll be a more interesting and confident person. I don't think I want to or ever will be the guy everyone wants to be associated with.

    I'm happy being a bit weird, but I'd rather be weird and interesting than just a boring loser.

    the reason its all so vague is I only have a vague idea of what I want, as everything is conflicting.

    Thanks to everyone though.
    You don't need to become a super popular person, just work on your social skills a bit. To create any sort of change in your life, you need to associate more pleasure to change than you do pain. The vast majority of people don't change because they like to stay in their comfort zone.

    Nobody likes pain or discomfort but it's something you have to go through if you want to create change in your life. You are going to have to leave your comfort zone and make some sacrafices.
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    Join a new club or get a job. You'll meet loads of new people. And even if the people you meet are idiots, you can get vaguely interesting things to talk about with the people you do know.

    If you don't find your own life interesting, then no one else will. So get something in your life that excites you.
 
 
 
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