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why muslim and hindu relationships are hard... watch

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    So i broke with my bf yesterday, apparantly there wasn't any point in continuing the relationship if we weren't going to get married.And the idea of marrying him was out of the question, as he realised that he loves his parents more than he loves me. So it lasted 3 years, most amazing 3 years..

    Im obviously upset, I'm not going to deny that I didn't know what i was letting myself in for, i guess I got more and more naive as the years went by.

    I think he's been a bit stupid, and just thought his mum and dad would be fine with it.. but he's realised kinda too late. Especially when feelings deep deep feelings get involved.

    The long distance thing aswel, its hard coming back up and down from London...

    Im supposed to be muslim, he's hindu so It was never going to be the
    right thing to do.. I have to grateful for the time we have had.

    Im not looking for advice, just some thoughts I guess.

    How can you be someone's friend, when you've had an actively sexual, loving and intense relationship... with them?

    I'm all cried out now- yep I need to get over it, move on and stop being so ... " he's the one". Maybe I need to be more careful with who I fall in love with.. stick to the "right" kind. Or maybe he just simply didn't love me enough...(which is very true- otherwise we would stick by each other till the very end)..

    I have a pet name for him its hard to lose that "thing" and the little things you said to each other...

    My coping strategy is usually to just blank people- thats the worst thing. Just not talk to him, I can't remember a day where I haven't not spoken to him!

    I just want and needed to blow off steam..
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    (Original post by Nutta!)
    So i broke with my bf yesterday, apparantly there wasn't any point in continuing the relationship if we weren't going to get married.And the idea of marrying him was out of the question, as he realised that he loves his parents more than he loves me. So it lasted 3 years, most amazing 3 years..

    Im obviously upset, I'm not going to deny that I didn't know what i was letting myself in for, i guess I got more and more naive as the years went by.

    I think he's been a bit stupid, and just thought his mum and dad would be fine with it.. but he's realised kinda too late. Especially when feelings deep deep feelings get involved.

    The long distance thing aswel, its hard coming back up and down from London...

    Im supposed to be muslim, he's hindu so It was never going to be the
    right thing to do.. I have to grateful for the time we have had.

    Im not looking for advice, just some thoughts I guess.

    How can you be someone's friend, when you've had an actively sexual, loving and intense relationship... with them?

    I'm all cried out now- yep I need to get over it, move on and stop being so ... " he's the one". Maybe I need to be more careful with who I fall in love with.. stick to the "right" kind. Or maybe he just simply didn't love me enough...(which is very true- otherwise we would stick by each other till the very end)..

    I have a pet name for him its hard to lose that "thing" and the little things you said to each other...

    My coping strategy is usually to just blank people- thats the worst thing. Just not talk to him, I can't remember a day where I haven't not spoken to him!

    I just want and needed to blow off steam..
    From what I know, Muslims can't marry Hindus, only Christians and Jews, and in any case, only Muslim me can do this (another thread on here, maybe), but from what it seems, he indeed doesn't 'love you enough'.

    But think for a minute. India? Are you saying all Hindu/Muslim relationships were/are doomed to fail?

    What I'll say is that a religious conversion on either side would be harmful. So with both Hindu and Muslim parents, what becomes of the child(ren)? That's the most important question to religious families, stupid though it would seem to anyone who isn't religious.

    Let it lie? Maybe he'll rekindle the flame if he... (this last bit sounds so 'sad, teenage dumped-girly', in a 'if he's the one, he'll come back to you' sense).

    You could ask yourself what love is - break it down into basic emotions and elements and then ask yourself whether someone else can make you feel the same way (in a world of more than 6 billion, the answer's almost certainly yes).
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    (Original post by amenhotep)
    From what I know, Muslims can't marry Hindus, only Christians and Jews, and in any case, only Muslim me can do this (another thread on here, maybe), but from what it seems, he indeed doesn't 'love you enough'.
    Only male Muslims can marry to people of the book (Christians and Jews)- Women can't.

    Misogyny.
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    It's hard for Hindus to mary outside their caste, never mind outside their religion.
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    (Original post by amenhotep)
    From what I know, Muslims can't marry Hindus, only Christians and Jews, and in any case, only Muslim me can do this (another thread on here, maybe), but from what it seems, he indeed doesn't 'love you enough'.

    But think for a minute. India? Are you saying all Hindu/Muslim relationships were/are doomed to fail?

    What I'll say is that a religious conversion on either side would be harmful. So with both Hindu and Muslim parents, what becomes of the child(ren)? That's the most important question to religious families, stupid though it would seem to anyone who isn't religious.

    Let it lie? Maybe he'll get in rekindle the flame if he... (this last bit sounds so 'sad, teenage dumped-girly', in a 'if he's the one, he'll come back to you' sense).

    You could ask yourself what love is - break it down into basic emotions and elements and then ask yourself whether someone else can make you feel the same way (in a world of more than 6 billion, the answer's almost certainly yes).
    No I understand, I don't think its we are bothered by it? Its our parents that are bothered by it... and even if any form of coversion takes place it won't really be accepted.

    I totally I agree with you, I'm just in a bit of state and being reflective...

    No of course, hindus and muslims are completely different, opposite ends of the spectrum.

    Yep his exact words are "I love you, but I love my parents more", I'm an idiot for falling in to deep. What can I say I like my happy endings...
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    Yeah, I know. Sucks.
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    (Original post by Corrosive Blossom)
    Only male Muslims can marry to people of the book (Christians and Jews)- Women can't.

    Misogyny.
    Annoyingly sexist... muslim men can have 4 wives too
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    Well i have muslim friends and from what they have told me. You were wrong to engage in a relationship with him, especially a sexual one. You would need to seek forgiveness from the one who created you.

    The truth is, sadly too many girls think theyre in love only to end up being dumped. Then the girl wakes up and realises it wasnt real love in the first place.
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    I don't understand this whole hindus/muslims can't be together thing! I'm from a hindu family but my parents would probably be glad if I got with a muslim because they'd be able to relate to his parents better. I wouldn't let them tell me who I should date and if it was a white/black/any person they would just deal with it. :sigh: *sigh* I'm really sorry this has happened to you, OP, but if your ex couldn't get away from his parent's influence then he probably isn't 'the one'. I hope you find someone else soon :console:
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    Some kids are so stupid thinking the relationships they'll have now will lead to marriage. That only happens once in a blue moon, OP your boyfriend is just plain stupid.

    Religion isn't directly the problem here, it's that he thinks you can't get married (because of your religion). But presumably he couldn't have been so religious because he did go out with a non muslim, which means the reason he's left you is because he genuinely believes the relationship he'll have at this age will lead to marriage :sigh: so naive and stupid.

    It baffles me how people start relationships in the knowledge that they're not the same religion and then end up breaking up because of this same reason.
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    (Original post by Corrosive Blossom)
    Only male Muslims can marry to people of the book (Christians and Jews)- Women can't.

    Misogyny.
    Yes and no. It's about the children and that they take the father's faith, usually (even in Christian denominations I believe, although not so much these days). And a bit like women taking the surnames of men.

    (Can't believe I'm defending this - I only know because of a similar thread or RE or Wikipedia!)
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    (Original post by Nutta!)
    Annoyingly sexist... muslim men can have 4 wives too
    200 years ago before DNA testing etc

    if a woman had more than one husband how would she know who is the father when she gets pregnant ? ...more like wisdom rather than sexist IMHO.
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    (Original post by Nutta!)
    Annoyingly sexist... muslim men can have 4 wives too
    How is having 4 wives sexist?
    Monogamy is too cruel of a rule :nah: polygamy is what it's all about :cool:
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    (Original post by Playboy King)
    Some kids are so stupid thinking the relationships they'll have now will lead to marriage. That only happens once in a blue moon, OP your boyfriend is just plain stupid.

    Religion isn't directly the problem here, it's that he thinks you can't get married (because of your religion). But presumably he couldn't have been so religious because he did go out with a non muslim, which means the reason he's left you is because he genuinely believes the relationship he'll have now will lead to marriage :sigh: so naive and stupid.

    It baffles me how people start relationships in the knowledge that they're not the same religion and then end up breaking up because of this same reason.
    Their religions are the other way round.

    It's called lust! Or not, sometimes people just get along so well...
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    You're not really a muslim if you've been having sex before marriage, that too with a Hindu.

    Convert to Hinduism, it's a-ok
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    (Original post by Playboy King)
    How is having 4 wives sexist?
    Monogamy is too cruel of a rule :nah: polygamy is what it's all about :cool:
    Idea for China?
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    (Original post by SpiderP1g)
    It's hard for Hindus to mary outside their caste, never mind outside their religion.
    All Asians, no?
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    (Original post by Demius)
    You're not really a....
    Don't start that.

    Very few 'real' anythings exist, in that case.
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    (Original post by Playboy King)
    Some kids are so stupid thinking the relationships they'll have now will lead to marriage. That only happens once in a blue moon, OP your boyfriend is just plain stupid.

    Religion isn't directly the problem here, it's that he thinks you can't get married (because of your religion). But presumably he couldn't have been so religious because he did go out with a non muslim, which means the reason he's left you is because he genuinely believes the relationship he'll have now will lead to marriage :sigh: so naive and stupid.

    It baffles me how people start relationships in the knowledge that they're not the same religion and then end up breaking up because of this same reason.

    No totally, I agree with you. I have myself to blame aswel, it's getting harder and harder! But you know, if he's so like into him pleasing his parents then, I guess if I was the right girl for him he would have to sacrifice that to please his parents...

    We both aren't religious at all. Its the parent issue, both sides of the family are the same... oh well. I have to be careful who I get with in future.
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    (Original post by *MJ*)
    All Asians, no?
    Don't turn it into a race thing (if you are). It's the same in many cases in Europe, still, and Chinese, and Africans and Australians.
 
 
 
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