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why muslim and hindu relationships are hard... watch

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    (Original post by SpanielMadHouse)
    All mixed faith relationships can be hard. It's down to you as the individuals to work through any of the issues that come up, because mixed faith relationships sure as hell aren't impossible! Are you against converting to Hinduism? You said you are 'meant to be' a Muslim, so I guess you aren't practising, have you explored Hinduism?

    I'll risk sounding sexist as hell and say if you don't care about your religion, or if you both feel equally as strongly about your own religions, then the woman should really be the one to convert.
    What a solution! But his parents would hate the **** out of me.

    I will look into it- but i think I will probably do it so it fits in with the family as opposed to the true desire to convert.
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    (Original post by S_123)
    I don't understand this whole hindus/muslims can't be together thing! I'm from a hindu family but my parents would probably be glad if I got with a muslim because they'd be able to relate to his parents better. I wouldn't let them tell me who I should date and if it was a white/black/any person they would just deal with it. :sigh: *sigh* I'm really sorry this has happened to you, OP, but if your ex couldn't get away from his parent's influence then he probably isn't 'the one'. I hope you find someone else soon :console:
    You serious? :eek3:. I think i speak for most hindu/sikh families when i say this, it's more acceptable to get married to a white than a muslim.
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    (Original post by amenhotep)
    You're next on a long list of people who've been unable to continue a relationship due to religion, or caste or whatever. Not the last.

    Or are you? If you believe in love or even something very much like it, you'd think someone would be willing to make sacrifices, or would at least try. There has been no attempt - no hope at all. Says it all, maybe.
    Thats why im waiting for him to come back if he does that is.
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    Lemme guess - Indian Hindu Male & Bengali Muslim Female?

    Anyway, you should have known what you were letting yourself in for..
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    I can sympathise totally. If you're going to put me into a drawer, I guess the best one I'd fit into is Christian, although I definitely don't class myself as such.

    My fiance is muslim, although not practicing, lives in a supposedly liberal, modern place (he owns a small hotel on the med) and lived in England for a few years whilst he did his degree at an English uni. Despite that, I find it so damn hard. His parents live with him and are lovely to me, despite something of a language barrier (I'm learning!) but I can't help getting the feeling that they would rather I was not only a muslim (his mum is fairly religious and prays 5 times a day, wears a headscarf etc), but of the same nationality as them. I feel like to them, I am definitely second best. I can cope with the lack of any affection whilst the parents are in view, but the nagging feeling that they think I'm not good enough because I don't share their religion (and nationality) hurts.

    It's worse somehow because for 6 months of the year I'm in England

    Anyway, as I've found with my relationship, if you and he REALLY want it, you can do it. I do know how big a barrier religion can be.
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    (Original post by Playboy King)
    But did you actually intend to marry the guy? I'm guessing you're quite young here, still in the teens? I mean, how can you be taking relationships so seriously? The average person nowadays goes through a handfull of relationships before they actually find the one they're going to marry.

    Making plans to get married when you're not actually in the position to do so is the worst thing you could do in a relationship. Now if only he had this outlook, he'd leave the marriage business for when it's actually time and for now enjoy his youth with you and you two could have had a few more fun years together.
    Exactly, but these feelings are getting too "intense/aka marriage like". No I know, but even if he can't marry me. Surely he deserves to be explore and find some suitable marriage material? Thats why I guess we can't be emotionally involved too much.

    No no im in my twenties.. No I know, I said that to him. But I don't think he'll be able to do more time with me knowing we would break up.

    Also we are in a long distance relatinship, coming back down to London every week is taking its toll.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can sympathise totally. If you're going to put me into a drawer, I guess the best one I'd fit into is Christian, although I definitely don't class myself as such.

    My fiance is muslim, although not practicing, lives in a supposedly liberal, modern place (he owns a small hotel on the med) and lived in England for a few years whilst he did his degree at an English uni. Despite that, I find it so damn hard. His parents live with him and are lovely to me, despite something of a language barrier (I'm learning!) but I can't help getting the feeling that they would rather I was not only a muslim (his mum is fairly religious and prays 5 times a day, wears a headscarf etc), but of the same nationality as them. I feel like to them, I am definitely second best. I can cope with the lack of any affection whilst the parents are in view, but the nagging feeling that they think I'm not good enough because I don't share their religion (and nationality) hurts.

    It's worse somehow because for 6 months of the year I'm in England

    Anyway, as I've found with my relationship, if you and he REALLY want it, you can do it. I do know how big a barrier religion can be.
    But in islam, you convert its okay.

    But cultures interfere...
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    (Original post by Haft_Hasht_Shish)
    Lemme guess - Indian Hindu Male & Bengali Muslim Female?

    Anyway, you should have known what you were letting yourself in for..
    How fricking precise is that!

    If you said guji you'd be spot on, love the way you thought I was a benny and not a pakistani girl lol
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    I'm really sorry to hear about this. It must have stung to have heard that he loved his parents more. He could have been a bit more sensitive than that, but maybe he just had to be blunt. You had to be naive to think he'd completely cut off contact from his family just to be with you... I know I could never do something like that, regardless of how much I loved the person I was with. It's a shame there isn't a compromise of some sort. I mean, you both clearly still cared for each other despite being together for three years already... You let your heart rule your head on this one, because I bet you knew deep down it couldn't last but didn't want to think or talk about it. I think that was your mistake - you should have been open about it from the beginning. I guess there's no point dwelling on that now because what's done is done... all I can really wish you now is good luck. Religion is the only real barrier here - in fact, it's probably the biggest barrier of them all since cultures can somehow mix and come together, even if it's a struggle, but it's nowhere near as difficult a situation to face...
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    (Original post by Nutta!)
    Exactly, but these feelings are getting too "intense/aka marriage like". No I know, but even if he can't marry me. Surely he deserves to be explore and find some suitable marriage material? Thats why I guess we can't be emotionally involved too much.

    No no im in my twenties.. No I know, I said that to him. But I don't think he'll be able to do more time with me knowing we would break up.

    Also we are in a long distance relatinship, coming back down to London every week is taking its toll.
    Well then I guess the only thing left to do is look straight ahead, hope for a bright future and hopefully it's all for the best...I'm sure you'll find a cool dude! :yy:
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    (Original post by Nutta!)
    What a solution! But his parents would hate the **** out of me.

    I will look into it- but i think I will probably do it so it fits in with the family as opposed to the true desire to convert.
    Don't do it. Profess your atheism but don't convert to another faith you don't believe in. That's worse that ordinary prostitution. You'd be living a lie.

    Wouldn't your parents hate you?
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    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    I'm really sorry to hear about this. It must have stung to have heard that he loved his parents more. He could have been a bit more sensitive than that, but maybe he just had to be blunt. You had to be naive to think he'd completely cut off contact from his family just to be with you... I know I could never do something like that, regardless of how much I loved the person I was with. It's a shame there isn't a compromise of some sort. I mean, you both clearly still cared for each other despite being together for three years already... You let your heart rule your head on this one, because I bet you knew deep down it couldn't last but didn't want to think or talk about it. I think that was your mistake - you should have been open about it from the beginning. I guess there's no point dwelling on that now because what's done is done... all I can really wish you now is good luck. Religion is the only real barrier here - in fact, it's probably the biggest barrier of them all since cultures can somehow mix and come together, even if it's a struggle, but it's nowhere near as difficult a situation to face...

    You know what, I KNEW it would work out, I said it the day we went out. I wanted to beleive it so so bad- there's no point. If he was the "right" kind, I swear to you my parents would love him to pieces.

    Actually, he always thought we could hack it, I wasn't convinced over time I think he's realised what he should have realised a long time ago.

    I hate myself and I've got hurt along the way
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    (Original post by amenhotep)
    Don't do it. Profess your atheism but don't convert to another faith you don't believe in. That's worse that ordinary prostitution. You'd be living a lie.

    Wouldn't your parents hate you?
    I think they already do to be honest, but I have one shot at life, I wish to live the way I please.
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    (Original post by Nutta!)
    But in islam, you convert its okay.

    But cultures interfere...
    I'm not converting to Islam. Not a chance in hell (and he knows this). We worked through that. There's always a way to get through these things if you really want to.
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    (Original post by Nutta!)
    You know what, I KNEW it would work out, I said it the day we went out. I wanted to beleive it so so bad- there's no point. If he was the "right" kind, I swear to you my parents would love him to pieces.

    Actually, he always thought we could hack it, I wasn't convinced over time I think he's realised what he should have realised a long time ago.

    I hate myself and I've got hurt along the way
    It's just all backfired on you which is really unfair.

    You placed your trust in him, out of love. He took too long to realise what he really should have done before, but maybe things have been just as hard for him - it must have tormented him to come to terms with this decision and end it?! It did require courage on his part. It's just that all the while you were falling more for him... ugh. Situations like this really upset me because it's just like - anyone should be with who they want to be with... but sometimes you just can't control these things.

    I'd suggest taking a step back and gathering your thoughts and trying to come to terms with this and in tune with YOURSELF again. As hard as it may be, take him out of the picture and finally prioritise what means the most to you right now and how you can deal with these issues.
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    (Original post by amenhotep)
    How?
    How?

    She doesn't, as an atheist. She'll have to take part in and profess to believe in stupid, sometimes savage, moronic, illogical and laughable practices. So will a child.
    Her parents? The message seemed to be that it would be heartbreaking for them if their daughter was to convert. Likewise for the other side.
    You really are cowardly and insecure in your faith, that you want converts regardless of whether they actually believe or not - conversions of convenience. And you're the one whoring yourself and your religion out.

    Would you suggest the same if the shoe was on the other foot - if she was the Hindu half? Everyone would win, right?
    The hell are you on? I'm not telling everyone to convert to Hinduism =/ I'm a Muslim.
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    (Original post by SpiderP1g)
    Well she evidently is. :rolleyes:
    Lol yes i know it sounds it thats why i said two of her best friends are muslim, and we have relatives that are muslim etc so clearly she has nothing against them . its just the fact that she doesnt want to see me convert and for me to marry a muslim man i would have to convert
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    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    It's just all backfired on you which is really unfair.

    You placed your trust in him, out of love. He took too long to realise what he really should have done before, but maybe things have been just as hard for him - it must have tormented him to come to terms with this decision and end it?! It did require courage on his part. It's just that all the while you were falling more for him... ugh. Situations like this really upset me because it's just like - anyone should be with who they want to be with... but sometimes you just can't control these things.

    I'd suggest taking a step back and gathering your thoughts and trying to come to terms with this and in tune with YOURSELF again. As hard as it may be, take him out of the picture and finally prioritise what means the most to you right now and how you can deal with these issues.
    Yep, call me naive, stupid, wreckless whatever.

    Its backfired, cause' I let, I was supposed to be the sensible one.

    I can't remember one day where I havent spoken to him.
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    Aw man that sucks!! You definatly need to stop living your life through your parents - guess easier said than done. I'm quite lucky - i'm a muslim but they dont care who i fall in love with/marry as long as i'm happy - thats how it should be!
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    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    It's just all backfired on you which is really unfair.

    You placed your trust in him, out of love. He took too long to realise what he really should have done before, but maybe things have been just as hard for him - it must have tormented him to come to terms with this decision and end it?! It did require courage on his part. It's just that all the while you were falling more for him... ugh. Situations like this really upset me because it's just like - anyone should be with who they want to be with... but sometimes you just can't control these things.

    I'd suggest taking a step back and gathering your thoughts and trying to come to terms with this and in tune with YOURSELF again. As hard as it may be, take him out of the picture and finally prioritise what means the most to you right now and how you can deal with these issues.
    Yep he said everything you said in the first paragraph. Mind reader!

    Hey, he's the best thing that happened to me so far, I have devloped tried a lot of new things etc.
 
 
 
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