Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    So..on NYE I met this guy and ever since we've been meeting up going to the pub etc. about 5 times now. He's stayed at mine twice the first time he stayed over nothing happened except kissing etc. Then on friday I met his friends and he stayed over and he started undressing me and he was about to take my underwear off. I stopped him and said I don't like sleeping with people if I'm not dating them...

    To which he said 'I see sex as getting to know one another,it seems a little bit too soon to be calling each other bf and gf and I don't like using the words relationships. Although he said if thats where we ended up that'd be fine... and he mentioned that he had an ex gf so it's not like e's never been in one...

    Thing is I've been REALLY hurt in the past. this guy SEEMS nice... but I do want a relationship and I don't know whether to take the risk. Or indeed whether I should be so stupid to wait around for a guy...

    Also it's his birthday within the next week... Which I've been invited out to... So I need to decide whether to tell him to **** off or whether this is normal behaviour for people that have just met and I'm just feeling insecure :-s...

    Is he a **** or just a normal guy?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    sorry is the only reason you dont want him because you have been hurt in the past....
    if that is the only rason then, every guy is different I would go for it!! BUT HOW QUICKLY HAS THE ALL HAPPENED.....(ignore caps locks). maybe you just need to take a step back and think about it.
    However if this has happened this quickly I would be wary of him just using you for the sex, and you need to try to find out what he really wants.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    I don't see any reason why you two can't get together, if it's what happend in the past that still makes you unsure- then you've got to get over it and turn a new leaf.
    Give him a chance, he might be really great!?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tinkielozi)
    Then on friday I met his friends and he stayed over and he started undressing me and he was about to take my underwear off. I stopped him and said I don't like sleeping with people if I'm not dating them...

    To which he said 'I see sex as getting to know one another,it seems a little bit too soon to be calling each other bf and gf and I don't like using the words relationships. Although he said if thats where we ended up that'd be fine... and he mentioned that he had an ex gf so it's not like e's never been in one...
    To this, i have to say, whether he is a nice guy or not he is one of those guys who really doesn't seem to respect someone as much as they should... like sex before being in a relationship is fine for me too, but his reply, in my opinion should have been more along the lines of "oh sorry" or "ok, no problem, if this becomes a relationship, then we will see"
    I see it more as trying to get lucky rather than actually having fun with the person you are with.

    Eg, obviously when being with someone i do get to the stage where going further would be nice, i make a slight move, if there is even the slightest feeling that i get that she is slowing down going to the next stage, i pause (figuratively- i keep kissing etc, but don't do anything else/ i stay at whatever stage i am on) she doesn't even have to say a single thing.

    But maybe try get to know him better is my guess
    • #1
    #1

    better to know him as a friend. in my opinion, he wants intercourse and he uses the relationship excuse in order to avoid commitment. like many people, he likes having fun.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    At the end of the day, even If you have been hurt in the past (like most of us have) you need to get out there again. If you play on the principle that any guy acting nice is actually going to hurt you, you are going to end up lonely. But I do agree on giving It a bit more time till when you first have sex if you do see a connection between you both.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    If you want to know whether or not he just wants to get his end away, tell him you'd rather hold off on sex until you've gotten to know one another better. The way he reacts will be a decent indicator on what he wants from you.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 17, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you rather give up salt or pepper?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.